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Wife just got mad at me for telling her she looked “fine.” What’s something you thought was a compliment at the time but really wasn’t?

She was getting ready to leave and asked how she looked. I wasn’t really paying attention so I just said “You look fine.” And she said “Fine? Just fine?” I said yeah. So she says “I don’t want to look fine, I want to look nice.” So I go “Okayyy…you look nice then?” Then she just groans and storms off.

Guys, has something like this ever happened to you?

Edit: Lots of people saying she probably was upset I didn’t notice how much extra time she put into her appearance today…she didn’t. She looked like she does every day.

Edit 2: After careful consideration, I’m an idiot.

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39 Comments

  1. I read, here on Reddit, when my wife asks I don’t immediately answer. I ask her to twirl show me he back side and then appear to look at different angles up and down. Then I give my opinion, which is always positive lol. Honestly I like what she looks like in any clothes

    Edit; WOW. thanks you all for blowing this up happy to share my advice.

  2. I always tell my life she looks terrible.

    “How do I look?”

    “Ohhh… my *Gawd*.”

    “What??”

    “That looks *terrible* on you. Take it off. **Right** now. Here, let me help.”

    “Oh my God, shut up. Let’s go.”

    I make her laugh, I tell her she’s sexier than any outfit could ever be, and I reassure her she’s lookin *fine* without ever saying the words.

    Works every time.

  3. Not really a compliment, but along the same vein. My ex and I were cuddling and she ended up laying on top of me. Not just head on chest, but her entire body was on me and being supported by my body. Note I’m not a big man, just 150lb.

    She proceeded to ask if she’s heavy, and I answered yes you’re pressing against my lungs. At this point she either pretended to get offended, or really did get offended, and said “are you insinuating that I’m fat??”

    To which I replied a line that I’ve seen on brisbane once before and been saving to use: “are you insinuating that you’re lighter than air??”

    I laughed. She laughed, and slapped me a little.

  4. My gf looks amazing and she is really hot. But she almost never believe me whenever I tell her. She is insecure about her weight and that just makes it hard for her to accept that.

    I wish she could she herself using my eyes.

  5. The event: New Year’s Eve 2001.

    The Place: Aberdeen, Scotland.

    My friend Laura is getting ready for the night out/celebrations. She’s all dressed up but feeling self-conscious. “I’m a little bit worried that I look fat in this dress. How do I look?”

    Seriously….in my head this sounded helpful. “Oh, don’t worry about it. That dress would make anyone look fat!”

    She spent the rest of the night on the couch, in her pajamas and under a blanket.

  6. You answer your own question in the second sentence of the post. You weren’t really paying attention. That’s the issue, she wanted one moment of undivided attention, and you did not spare it.

  7. Ok, I’m going to out myself here. I have an “Alter Ego” called Barkley. He is a fashion consultant. My wife and I have agreed that if she asks ME how an outfit or hair looks I’m going to say” fine”.
    On the other hand if she asks for Barkleys opinion, he’s going to say, ” The two shades of blue you picked clash, and you should wear flats because well be walking a lot today.”
    Also, rule number one is the wife cannot get mad at Barkley since she is looking for an honest answer. Its her choice on who she’s asking.

  8. How did you survive the entire relationship, proposal, engagement, and marriage up until this point without realising that the question “how do I look” should not be answered with the word “fine”?

  9. Speaking from some degree of experience: if she was getting ready to go, she probably was putting in extra effort to look nice and wanted you to notice/appreciate that, or was unsure if her ensemble was really as nice as she thought it was.

    Either way, she wanted honesty, engagement, and a degree of specificity.

  10. About a month into my relationship, I told my girlfriend that she looked “Homely”.

    In my head I assumed it meant like “girl next door”.

    Turns out it definitely does not mean that.

  11. I have no problem with that question, I gi e an honest “you look beautiful.” My problem is “do these shoes go with these pants?” Then I give an honest “I have no forking clue.”

  12. Did you say fine like a “fine wine”, or like “eh you look alright”? Because tone matters there.

    “Fine” with zero enthusiasm becomes the second one. If that was the case then you really shouldn’t be blaming her for her hurt feelings.

    >So I go “Okayyy…you look nice then?”

    You have to be dense to not see how this is insulting.

    Edit: To clarify, saying “you look fine” is also a way of saying that you don’t care, or that you’re not willing to give a real answer.

    That answer comes across as talking to a brick wall, at least where I’m from.

  13. Try telling her she looks nice without her asking more often. If she is fishing for compliments she likely feels insecure and is looking for some support.

  14. >So I go “Okayyy…you look nice then?”

    Honestly I’d be kinda upset if my wife so blatantly was just saying whatever to appease me instead of giving an honest opinion. It’s patronizing.

  15. As a female, I think comments in this realm are easily translated to “you don’t care,” even if that’s not how it’s intended and you’re mind was probably just someplace else you know? These innocent comments are just a product of misunderstanding and personal perception, it happens. I guess we all like a little bit of effort especially in conversation because it shows you care.

  16. FYI, fine means “adequate” in that context. She was hoping to look above average and you told her she looked adequate. Pretend you asked her how good your sex was, and she answered, “adequate”. Wouldn’t it sting a little?

    For future reference, here are some words to use when describing your wife’s appearance that will probably garner a more positive reaction:

    – good
    – nice
    – pretty
    – beautiful
    – hot
    – damn fine
    – stunning
    – sexy
    – cute
    – charming

  17. I’m a girl, but I had to come on here and give you guys a general lifehack. Never, ever, under any circumstances use the word fine to describe anything to your significant other. Women hear this as pure apathy and is a guaranteed way to make us annoyed or upset. I know it’s tempting, and most of the time whatever is being asked about truly is fine, but spare yourself so much time and frustration and use a word a degree or two above or below fine as is appropriate.

  18. LPT. You just have to respond with something like “you look good! I like the color of your shirt/shoes/nails/whatever. Just pick some aspect of her outfit/aesthetic and specifically comment on it.

  19. My Ex is a professional soprano singer. The first time is saw her in concert, she asked me what I thought of her performance. I said it was good….. ye gads that was the wrong thing to say

  20. You aren’t necessarily wrong but there are things you can do. I like telling my gf that she is pretty almost everyday. She is and she deserves to feel that way. Your gf is still seeking that approval or she wouldn’t have gotten mad. Start telling her she is beautiful and flirt with her. Act like you don’t just have her around, spank her ass while walking by. Just stuff that shows you can’t get enough and it takes no effort to do it.

  21. Of course this has happend. Almost every guy alive has experienced some derivitive of this exact scenario. And almost every woman alive has more or less reacted in this way to a questionable compliment. Congratulations. You and your wife are average. (In the best possible way ofc)

  22. Fine? Just fine?
    …time to bust out the R&B
    You look soooo fiiiine, fine, fiyyynnneeee yeaaaaa
    -gotta slide your feet from side to side to get the full effect

  23. You married her because she’s the most lovely lady in your life, right? Make her feel that way? Sooooo no, “fine” is pretty mid. you should been like you fiiiiinnnnneeeeeeeeeee baby. Idk just a suggestion, i’m single as a pringle.

  24. Your wife never looks fine, she never looks nice. She is always beautiful. Always.

    If she went to bed drunk, wakes up with porcupine hair, make up all over her face a pouty look and a hangover, she’s beautiful, hand her the gatorade, and shut up.

    This is not a sexist statement, but to us the words which all mean the same thing, IE nice and fine, mean completely different things to a woman getting ready to leave the house.

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