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Who was the most “stereotypical toxic man” friend or acquaintance you’ve had, and why?

Who was the most “stereotypical toxic man” friend or acquaintance you’ve had, and why?

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  1. One of my friends from high school was gay and extremely ashamed of it for reasons I never fully understood. It was the stereotypical case of the closeted hyper-masculine homophobe.

    The guy catcalled and leered at every single woman we drove past. If we were walking and he saw a hot girl he would very loudly announce that “SHE HAS A NICE ASS BRO!” or something of the sort to the point where it became embarrassing to be with him in public. He was also known for regularly trying to escalate friendly ball-busting into fistfights. Anyone who pissed him off was a “pussy” or a “faggot”, those were the only two insults he ever used. He was also accused of being violent towards a couple of his ex gfs, which having known him I fully believe.

    Last time I ever saw him he showed up at my place looking like he was tweeking out and asked for a couple hundred dollars which I refused.

    Whether you believe toxic masculinity is a thing or not, he very clearly had insecurities about his orientation and role as a man and engaged in destructive behavior in an effort to compensate.

  2. Buckle up, and let me tell you about Travis.

    We were friends in high school and into our 20’s, so I saw a lot.

    Travis studied martial arts, not for exercise or any of that philosophy stuff, but because he wanted to be a *bad ass!* He’d tell you how long he’d been training and what skills he had any time the subject came up, and he brought up the subject on a fairly regular basis. He stopped training some time after high school, but still carried himself with that “I could totally kick your ass” stance for the whole time I knew him.

    The first car he owned was a used Chevy Beretta, sold to him by his used-car-dealing-uncle. The reason he bought it was because James Bond used a “Beretta, 9 mm”. He managed to tear the front bumper off trying to peel out of a covered parking space because he wanted to impress the girl in the car with him. (who was not his girlfriend or date)

    Travis went away to college to ‘Aeronautical University’, but mostly just fucked around until he crashed his car, flunked out, and moved back home. He was stoked to get a job as a bartender… not because he loved flavors and mixing drinks, or even because he liked alcohol, but because he thought it would be a ‘cool job to get chicks’.

    He *constantly* whined about how ‘nice guys finish last’. When he started hooking up with a girl and she dumped him, he went into full-on meltdown: calling over & over, then driving to her house and knocking on the door nonstop, then jumping the back fence and climbing to the 2nd story patio to try and get in through the sliding glass door.

    His mother (whom he was still living with) had enough of his shit at that point, and told him he had five choices: any branch of the military, or live somewhere else. Dude tried to go into military, Air Force I think. (“gonna be a Top Gun!”) Spoiler for any guys out there over the age of 19 thinking about going into the U.S. military: basic training will be so much worse for you. Older dudes (and by older I mean ‘not 18-19 fresh out of high school’) got fucking **worked** in basic, harder than the rest. Dude washed out with either a dishonorable or medical discharge.

    Travis got married; I wasn’t there because he’d managed to piss off a lot of people who just decided not to be there. Travis got his wife pregnant. (unplanned) I later asked how, exactly, that happened and he said “we had an argument about who should be responsible for birth control; she thought I should use condoms and I thought she should take the pill”. I remember asking him at the time who he thought *won* that argument.

    Travis’ wife divorced him. He handled it badly, paid lawyers to fight over custody, made allegations about his in-laws’ mental health, and asked me if I would testify against *her* allegations of abuse against *him*. (I had seen nothing, but he still felt the need to repeat all the allegations she made against him, including the one about involuntary sodomy…) He insisted that the divorce **had** to be this way, because “his family doesn’t forgive easily, and that’s how he was raised, and that’s who he is”.

    I hear he’s remarried and has kids, and maybe he’s straightened all his shit out… but when I knew the dude, he was very much about having all the trappings of “being cool” without any of the personality or interests or character that needs to go with it.

  3. guy I used to work with and take classes with. He was actually a really good friend in the beginning. we started out as gym friends. but over the course of 3 years he got so toxic and disrespectful towards me and everyone around him and we just stopped talking once we graduated.

    he eventually told me he got diagnosed as bipolar. i had no idea during the whole friendship until that point. neither did he apparently.

    people reported him to HR for hostile behavior, he loved to go to the gym every single day and wear tight shirts to show off his arms and call people the F word and make jokes calling people gay and he made penis jokes non stop.

    He was always swiping on bumble in public whenever he could trying to date/sleep with women. He had a loud motorcycle. he crashed his rental car from driving it reclkessly around a corner, he road raged like crazy and he even stood outside a parked car one time threatening to fight them.

    spending lots of time with people like that can be bad over time and they get comfortable around you so they start showing you who they really are..

  4. I’ll call him John. Joined the marines right after high school, didn’t really see him much for the next 4 years, then he moved back and was a typical military bro. Buff, loud, assertive, sexist, borderline racist, etc.

    I thought it was great, and he’s still my boy to this day. It’s nice not having to worry about offending people and just be myself.

  5. I have this acquaintance. I see him from time to time but I don’t like him. He’s a massive pussy that puts on this veil of a “tough guy”. His machismo comes across as pathetic and ungenuine which makes me want to beat the shit out of him.

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