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When talking/texting with a woman you are interested in, how often are you the one who initiates conversations and new topics?

When talking/texting with a woman you are interested in, how often are you the one who initiates conversations and new topics?

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19 Comments

  1. In the beginning, I tend to initiate. If she doesn’t reciprocate in some way, initiating conversations herself, I generally assume she’s not similarly interested and move on.

  2. Almost always.

    Maybe once in the last year, while actively trying to meet people and some just happening, I met one person who could hold and actually participate in conversation.

    I talked with, maybe, 6 people at different times (one led to friendship, went on a few “dates” with another, but with most we just “ghosted” one another) and only one put as much effort as I did when it came to chatting. And fookin’ hell, It was amazing and refreshing. Just paragraph after paragraph and conversations for days. Unfortunately, we really weren’t compatible.

  3. I’ve tried initiating several times only to get one or two responses before radio silence. The unsent messages were received.

    Can’t say anyone’s really tried initiating with me.

  4. As a male I always let her initiate unless I come across something that needs to be shared. Otherwise I just picture them seeing my text and having nothing to say or response soo they don’t and never initiate to see what’s up

  5. Most of my relationships where initiated by women. Most approached or where obviously interested. Either or, in most of the cases it felt like I was expected to know what to do. I was always expected to kindle the conversation and keep the flame burning.

    Even now a days I’ve been conditioned to make the first moves to the point I treat it like rocket science. I always keep the conversation light and humorous, I’ll tease the shit out of them, I’ll listen. Everytime I let them spew whatever It gives my brain time to relax and think of what to say.

    From my pov girls are fun to hang around in a cute way, but they seem to exhibit negative emotions like anxiety in larger proportions, which is in my opinion why they don’t make moves first, also they are constantly bombarded with attention, I had to fight since childhood for a spotlight.

  6. Overtime I’ve taken a much more laid back partner ship approach with the women(and even broader people) in my life. I’ve consistently seen that a lot of times the people are I interact with tend to ONLY be the people I’ve reached out too. Hell ever since the new year started I began doing this I’ve noticed my “social”(as much as we can be) circle slightly dwindle.

    As per the question tho…… I think the old idea that if someone is interested in you, you’ll know it rings true. I think every guy has had their inclination that this person is into them based solely on how they interact with you. I think you kinda know in general. I just don’t really tend to chase people, it also doesnt help that my last ex and I melded together really well, and that situation required literally no “chasing”

    TLDR: if you find urself constantly initiating conversation and being the bulk carrier of it. That generally means that the girl isn’t interested in you. Obvi you can keep chasing or you can move on to the next play

  7. Text-wise, my boyfriend initiates with me 99% of the time since we met. I’ll FaceTime him from time to time. But it’s balanced out in that I always go to his place to hang out. It’s all about balance I guess. So if a guy only initiates half the time but always treats when you’re out, that could be justifiable. It also depends dude to dude, initiative is a masculine trait and some men are very on top of it. Like I wouldn’t mind initiating in my relationship, but he really beats me to the punch every time haha. But bottom line, if a dude wants you HE WILL reach out often. If you are always initiating I think a man will take you for granted/think he doesn’t have to work for your attention.

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