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What’s something you wished you had discussed with your partner BEFORE getting married?

What’s something you wished you had discussed with your partner BEFORE getting married?

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29 Comments

  1. I kinda wish we had had a stronger discussion about stuff like organizing the house and clutter. There are a lot of factors involved but we ended up at odds for awhile about the kinds of things we’re storing etc.

  2. Bills, parenting styles, credit, debt, how to deal with family, what belief will be installed in your children, childhood traumas, sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations, family health
    history, bucket list, dream home, career and education, political view and whatever else come in mind.

  3. I wish she would have told me that keeping her family happy outweighed every other consideration of her life, including decisions we would make as parents to our child, the stability of our relationship, and ultimately the size of our own family.

  4. I wish I’d have learned more about her boundaries. I took a lot for granted and was too foolish to observe and determine them well. I’m talking about ethics and morality. Physical boundaries I got easily, but I regret not being able to talk more openly about sexual boundaries as well I suppose.

  5. Tldr; let each other know what bothers you about the other person, no matter how trivial, so it doesn’t become a huge deal later.
    With my 1st wife, I wish we would have talked about what annoys us about each other. Because what ever SLIGHTLY annoys you about each other will bug the piss out of you when your married.
    I didn’t make the same mistake with my current ( and final) wife of 12 years.
    We had an uncomfortable discussion. I said ” I don’t want to waste each other’s time, so we need to tell each other what bugs us about the other ” I started first and said that I hate how she always dresses slobby around the house. I said I didn’t expect her to be dressed to the nines all of the time, but it bugs me that she looks like she stole her shirts and sweats from a homeless person 24/7. She told me that my teeth was gross and she’d leave in a heartbeat if I ever lost them.
    She started dressing nicer more often, and I have gone to the dentist yearly to get my teeth cleaned and worked on. I’m in my 40s living in the south with all my teeth, because of her.
    The point is, communication is what makes our marriage work. We don’t pretend something doesn’t bug us when it does.
    I love my wife more every day and she is the same with me. Me and my first wife tried to ignore the shit that bugged us, and it doomed us.

  6. Signing a prenuptial agreement is absolutely paramount. If person A truly loves person B and claims money has no factor then signing one would be done so easily.

  7. Parenting styles. She’s like her whole family is, apparently. What I call a pushover parent. I’m the enforcer, the bad guy, the structure. We never really argued or disagreed on stuff until we started raising kids together.

    Of course, they’re little assholes to her when she has them alone, and when it’s just me they’re chill and decent humans who are enjoyable to be around.

  8. We discussed all the big things. The one thing I didn’t count on was that her position would change on one of them (how many children she wanted) and that it would set off a chain of events we’d never recover from. So yeah, not an answer to the question really but a reminder that pre-marriage discussions are not a silver bullet. Sounds simple but it was something I just hadn’t considered.

  9. If she really believed in “for better or worse”. I got injured and was unable to work and she wanted a divorce a year later. If I knew she didn’t take vows seriously I wouldn’t have married her.

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