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What would you tell a 23 year old self, (if you’re older or younger)

A month from now, I’ll turn 23 and your suggestions will be a birthday gift for me, as it’ll help me in self reflection

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31 Comments

  1. 27 here. Ideally I’d love to tell myself these back when I was like 18, but I’d settle for telling these to 23 me.

    “If something is worth doing then it’s worth half-assing”. Being bad at something when you first start is *normal*, so don’t procrastinate forever and say “no” to invitations because you are looking for perfection on your very first try. If it’s worth doing, then go do it half-assedly with the expectation to probably fail and you’ll get better as you go (especially with doing things socially).

    Also the reason you think you don’t look good is because guys are told never to look at attractive guys beyond “muscles = attractive”. Take some time now to dig through places like r/LadyBoners. There are a lot of factors out there that makes guys look good, and most of them take a heck of a lot less work than a six-pack does.

    Also the key to picking good outfits is to try to control the total amount of contrast. Ideal point is light brown + white + navy that will just sort of “pop” without being overpowering.

  2. “No band you join, between now and 29 will ever make it past a few pub gigs, give up now, and work on your writing… Continue to have the attitude, if it’s too difficult then don’t do it. You win in the end, just wait and see. You will find, both, happiness with a woman you love and she loves you back and your success will be gained through her encouragement and exploiting a talent you’ve already got.

    Don’t work hard at anything, until your thirties, when you’ll naturally be inclined to do so… Beyond that, if it’s too difficult, then it isn’t for you. Now, enjoy the rest of your twenties, also don’t buy those white skinny jeans. As your future missus will spend seven years (so far), ripping the piss out of the photograph that you’ll have taken, where *you* think you look like Iggy Pop. Trust me, you won’t… Nice hair, by the way, now give me some of that speed, I know you’re holding.”

  3. Dear downto64, you have never had a girlfriend, I want you to initiate conversations with women and have your weekly number of conversations increase until you have gotten yourself a girlfriend.

  4. (To older self) “you’re most likely going to hate me just as much as I hate younger middle school me, which is acceptable. I will most likely do some stupid shit that will damage something about you socially or physically, but if you hate me for it then that means you’ve grown as a person.”

  5. Take that money you have saved and buy bitcoin while it’s crazy cheap. Biggest investment mistake I ever made was not taking a friends advice on bitcoin, he didn’t think it get as big as it did, but damn, $10,000 investment at the beginning would have made me a wealthy man.

  6. You are going to have the roughest patch in your life so far and it’s gonna keep catching up with you consistently.

    But you’ll somehow meet some of the loveliest, kindest and understanding people in your life… give it time, you’ll feel happy again but for now you are going to hurt BIG and you’ll need to build trust with human beings again real fast and quick, otherwise you will fall into a trap of doubt and loneliness.

  7. I would tell myself to take all my anger and to just let it go. That the concept that you either have to bottle up or unleash your anger is completely false. That there is a third better option, which is to just let it go. Or I would just quote my favorite book:

    “Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”

  8. Knocking on 41 here.

    -Run a couple miles everyday and you can (and should) eat whatever you want.

    -Always be a good son, if you had good parents (or parents that at least tried). You can never be prepared for burying a parent, but if you tried, you can’t say you didn’t.

    -Invest in your retirement in your 20s. A Roth IRA is a good start.

    -Learn how to cook a few dishes. I can barely make mac n cheese, but I can make tacos that knock my wife’s socks off.

    -Buy a car/truck you like. Treat yourself.

    -Look after your cardiovascular health. In my mid 30s I discovered I had a potassium defiency. Heart health kills a lot of men and is easily correctable with dietary adjustments.

    -Have fun.

  9. Money is important but time is more, so:

    * Pay attention at class and finish the university.
    * Go to the dentist as soon as possible.
    * Take care of yourself: weight, tooth and other things only we both now.
    * You will meet a girl in 2 years: stay away from her, she’s going to use you.
    * Return to speech therapy.
    #
    * Stop using the credit card to buy friends paying for everything. You worth more

  10. Your fucked. Becoming the person you want to be will not make you have the life you want to have. Maybe try to be more selfish and a worse person and you might live a richer life.

  11. 1. Stop eating so much sugar.
    2. Your edgy ill-informed nihilism isn’t impressing anyone.
    3. Start reading. You’ll actually enjoy if if you give it an honest effort.

  12. 35 here. My thoughts to me 12 years ago.

    Stop the nice guy bullshit. Nice guys don’t finish last, boring guys who aren’t interesting do. You can be nice without making that your entire personality.

    Stop denying your inner geek. Embrace that geek. Stop acting like a bro. It does not suit you and you’re a much more interesting geek (see previous point)

    Can you just…go to the gym? You’ve got so much potential. You don’t need to wait until your late 20s to stop being the tall skinny guy.

    Stock market is about to take a ride. Buy Amazon. So much Amazon.

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