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What were some weird and unique things your old man did, said, or believed in?

Mine would put Polaroid pictures In his armpit so that they would develop quicker, He would go to construction sites and collect bent nails bring them home straighten them and then put them in a coffee can never to be used again, And he used to reuse paper towel drying them on the line in the garage

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26 Comments

  1. In summer my dad will go to the gas station or store in really short cut off jeans, like daisey dukes and clogs, no shirt.
    This is for some reason, for him, acceptable dresscode.

  2. To him, and only him, my name is Homer. No reason has every been offered to me as to why this is. It is what he has always called me, but only he has ever called me that. Until now, I’ve never written it to refer to myself. Very rarely does he address me by my actual name.

  3. My old man used to put salt in his coffee because it reminded him of his time in the navy. He was also obsessed with home canning fruit and vegetables. He pickled everything right up until the end.

  4. This is probably a popular one but my old man did not trust banks. Lived my entire life in a house with 200k stashed in the walls. He didnt trust anyone in the house either and only found out about the money when I left.

  5. My dad insists on scooping ice cream with a fork and if he sees you using a spoon he’ll call you un-American and he’ll get a fork out for you that you won’t use and have to put back before leaving the kitchen.

    And if he comes across any bug or animal, he names it Fred. If you try to kill a wasp in the house he’ll say “Stop, that’s Fred!” We have an obviously female feral cat near the house that we feed…she’s calico and has kittens…still named Fred.

  6. My dad kept money from selling cattle wrapped in aluminum foil in the back of the freezer. Liked the cash transactions so he didn’t have to trouble Uncle Sam about it. So if you were in there rummaging around for a pound of hamburger you might stumble across $1,500 in our freezer.

  7. Once my father told me “Everything that happens to you is your fault”. This changed my way of viewing the world and I can say I’m way more responsible because of that phrase

    ​

    EDIT: I had missed the “weird” part in the title, sorry

  8. I’m old enough to qualify as an old man, so some of this is most likely out of date.

    -Put a penny in your left shoe for good luck. (I’ve been doing this for 35 years, no reportable results yet).

    -Collar on your shirt and long pants after 5:00pm. I don’t know where he got this, but I can’t lie, it does lend to the credibility if I’m doing something…despite living in a tropical climate.

    And one from my grand-old man:

    -Never wear shoes you can’t run in. I bet he had some great stories I never got to hear.

  9. When I was a small child, if I needed help moving something, or was trying do something requiring physical strength that I just couldn’t muster, my dad would say “Ya ain’t got enough ass for it” and would then do whatever I was trying to do.

  10. My dad had/has a habit of brushing his teeth at work. Dental hygiene isn’t “weird” and I can’t really fault him for it since it’s technically the responsible thing to do, but it struck me as odd because I’ve never met a single other person who brings their toothbrush with them in their lunch box every day. That, and he used to take ginseng pills *and* an energy drink every morning as a routine; I’d be bouncing off the walls if I did that.

  11. If someone came to the door trying to convert him to their religion or invite us to their church (assuming he actually got up and answered rather than one of us kids), he wouldn’t talk down to them or shut the door in their face or anything like that. He would calmly talk to him about his take on the world and the future of the human race. Which was simply that we humans were a food source for an alien race, and at some point the population would reach the appropriate harvest level and they would return for their food source.

    Those people didn’t come around our house much after one of those conversations with the old man.

  12. My old man used to comb his hair before going to bed. He always said if I die while beeing asleep then at least with style. Well he actually died while sleeping at the age of 70. Rip handsome.

  13. He was really good at smelling bullshit. Like in any situation. He always knew when I was being a shit head, when I was stoned or drunk he could see right tf through me, he could always identify a situation as a scam or bullshit before he even got close to it and was right 100% of the time… the mans insight & intuition was phenomenal.

    But He was also a cop sooo

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