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What sort of behavior in a friendship would you consider as ‘clingy’? What’s the line between clingy and friendly?

What sort of behavior in a friendship would you consider as ‘clingy’? What’s the line between clingy and friendly?

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11 Comments

  1. The biggest one for me is not being able to come to terms with the fact that I have a life outside of our friendship. I had a friend once that would beg and complain when I couldn’t make it to parties and social events. He would act like me not being able to make it to a party was a sure sign of me being tired of his friendship. Like dude…. i can’t make it because i have to work. Its okay. There will be another party to go to. And we are still friends i have a life outside of this friend circle and thats okay.

  2. Personally I think you can definitely get clingy. But it’s very harsh to label someone as clingy just because they maybe want to hang out more than you. It needs to be an observation over a long time that if they’re obsessed and toxic, okay they’re clingy.

    But be careful calling people clingy when they’re just perhaps more social or want to spend time with you when they can, I know lots of people that love to just be with people always and then others who are very selective about when and how they hang out with people. There’s a whole spectrum and it can be just as damaging to call someone clingy (or even worse to not tell them and just ignore/ghost them) and wreck their confidence/friendship as it is to call someone antisocial and boring.

    Edit: I would also add that in a world where so many have nobody, someone wanting to hang out too often isn’t the worst thing in the world.

    Not an answer to your question but interesting stuff!

  3. Clingy friendships are definitely a thing. I had a friend once who was like my shadow at one point. What really annoyed me was the fact that he’d always overstay his welcome and I mean always. He’d call down to mine around 11am on a Saturday and wouldn’t go home till 8 or 9pm that night.

    There was other times when I’d tell him that I wasn’t in the mood for hanging out and he’d still call down regardless. It was a bit of a nightmare in all honesty.

  4. My gf had a friend who would turn up to the house 3-6 times a day and try and ‘chill’ for 45 minutes at a time. Didn’t matter if we, a family of five, were eating dinner, having a shower or preoccupied for some other reason.

    Then proceeded to suggest I was being abusive when I told my girlfriend that it needs to stop.

  5. Am I the only one that feels like I _need_ clingy friends?

    I don’t reach out to people much anymore, but if someone likes me and wants me to do shit with them all the time, I love it.

    Every complaint about clingy girlfriends sounds ideal to me.

  6. An example I’m observing from someone recently. Background, the other person worked at his job for a month and left, they worked together only twice. Now they talk over FB.

    He is always the first one to message, apart from when they need to know who from his work is in the area they live in that week. He likes to text out of interest. Seeing that the other person doesn’t seem to be as eager to communicate, although friendly because they have things in common and can have a nice time chatting. And when he talks to them, they leave him on read all the time while he never does it, he even thinks for a minute with the phone in his hands to respond something very funny or something that’d pull them into another conversation. Always asking about them, while never receiving questions about him. Inviting that person out and getting no response, not even seen.

  7. I have had clingy friendships. The type where when I met a new friend at a school event that I was at with my clingy friend, she got mad and didn’t speak to me for months. It’s almost like having a jealous gf and I don’t like that. I distance myself. Maybe it’s wrong, I don’t full ghost them, but I definitely quit doing things with them. I can’t handle the neediness. I have kids for that. Lol.

    I honestly think needy friends are worse than a needy significant other. I’m an adult, I’m allowed to have more than one friend. If I am questioned about who I was with, where we went, and why they weren’t incited… There’s a problem.

  8. I have a friend who equally adores me and feels jealous of me and sometimes i feel she is also questioning her sexuality ( she is straight as of now ). It is extremely weird.
    She wants me to be around her always but she gets very bitchy if others start to pay attention to me instead of her. She would make offensive remarks, make jokes on my appearance and try to belittle me..
    But she will constantly seek my advice and ask me to go to her house.
    . it seems like she is jealous of the fact that i have a bf (she is single) , and also because now I am with someone who makes me happy (she is possessive of me ).
    When she is drunk, she will say weird things like take off your top i wanna see you in a very flirtatious way. She also once gave me a hickey (dare, she chose the task for her ownself) and said it is a sign of her friendship towards me.
    She has battled depression for a long time so i am usually very supportive of her. But she is the first friend I have ever been scared of inviting to my place because i have absolutely no clue what she would do (she is dramatic and starts to scratch , whine when something happens that she doesn’t like).
    Writing all this is making me question why i continue to be ‘there’ for her.

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