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What is a male issue that you’d like the public to be more aware of and/or destigmatize?

What is a male issue that you’d like the public to be more aware of and/or destigmatize?

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  1. As a middle age man, I can’t take my kids or nieces and nephews out to the park or legoland or anywhere without other moms either (a) talking to the kids directly to find out who I am or (b) having the fake chit chat form then trying to determine who I am and why I am there with kids.

    Every time I pick up my kids at school there are issues with teachers that don’t know me.

    It’s frustrating and discriminatory because I never see mothers get this treatment.

  2. That the default opinion in society during a divorce is for the dads to only be “weekend dad”.

    Dads have to fight so much harder just to get shared custody compared to what a lot of moms can get away with. I understand part of the cause is because there are so many shitty “fathers” out there, and guys who only want to be a part time dad who have set precedents. All that has made it a lot harder for decent single dads out there.

  3. All the way from Macbeth. Questioning a man’s masculinity to manipulate him to do things. “Be a man!”. No, be a sensible human and asses the situation. Don’t be rushed into doing anything based on some machismo idea that was put in your head.

  4. My wife and I were seeing fertility specialists; they won’t talk to me, won’t take me seriously. They don’t CC me on e-mails, they don’t phone me, don’t communicate with me at all, even after multiple attempts to get included. I might as well not be in the room. Even when they were talking about my balls the doctor talked to my wife not me, even when I’m sitting right next to her.

    Any attempt to get included in the conversation gets a “oh sorry, we’ll make sure to include you” then resuming ignoring me and talking only to my wife.

  5. Men’s health in general. Especially mental health.

    Getting help is seen as a sign of weakness. Men are “supposed” to be the fixers, the strong ones, the providers. We then have general tendency to under-report/ignore/ or self treat our symptoms so we don’t get perceived as weak and vulnerable. We don’t want to lose the “respect” of our peers.

    Suppressing men’s vulnerability fuels toxic masculinity. That suppression comes from everywhere in society from other men, women, people, corporations…It’s gotta stop.

  6. I’ve noticed that when men bring up issues of illness, pain, or general physical discomfort to some women the conversation often steers towards something about men not being able to handle pain and how we whine *so much*, or how women deal with worse pain, or how we’re just seeking attention.

  7. I guess really pissed off at this idea that “men are privileged.” Look at many stats from substance abuse to most likely to be engaged in a high risk job and men surpass women. The truth is that each sex often has it’s crosses to bear and “privileged” in the year 2020 isn’t sex dependent.

  8. The vast majority of violent firearm deaths (6 of every 10 firearm deaths) in the United States are a direct result of male suicide. Do something about the epidemic of male suicide in the U.S. and you will have reduced the majority of gun violence in the United States.

  9. This is mostly an issue in schools, but men aren’t expected to be good in more artistic subjects. I was a top-notch painter and writer in high school, but I wasn’t recognized nearly as much as my female counterparts.

    Also I experienced sexism in school my whole school career. Girls were always the teachers’ favorites, received better marks for the same work, and even got punished less than we did for the same thing. Both me and a girl cheated of each other’s homework, and when we were caught, it was assumed that I completely cheated off her. When I brought up that it was an even 50/50 on work, I got removed from my leadership positions around school and got a zero on the assignment while she only got talked to.

  10. That boys/men are routinely punished worse for crimes compared to women who do the exact same crime. Not saying women should be punished worse but it would be nice if men were given as many second chances as the legal system gives women.

    Edit: In case anyone wants statistics on this, men receive sentences that are 63 percent higher, on average, than their female counterparts in federal court. This disparity is also most likely worse because all the studies I have looked at don’t take into account plea deals and how women get drastically more lenient plea deals.

    [https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2144002](https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2144002)

  11. Honestly, the self serving hypocracy of a society that simultaneously tells men that toxic masculinity is bad, but also pressures men into and predominantly selects in favour of those traits.

    For example. Women predominantly select men that are high earners, high status and are performatively stoic, stable (unemotional), physically strong, usually taller, competitive and lean towards a stereotypical protector provider archetype.

    Meanwhile, men that are more emotional, less physically muscular, less overtly confident and not performative to the stereotypically old fashioned “mans man” social label, generally recieve social and romantic rejection, pity and are made fun of by the majority of women.

    The hardest thing a man has to deal with is the contradictory message he receives from, (largely the women in) society, that in private, personal mate selection and preference, request and select for the self serving aspects of a 1930s depiction of masculinity, while also publically creating a widely adopted social view that those traits are to be criticized and shamed.

    It is the combination of these effects:

    -The leaps and bounds that female empowerment “you can be anything” rhetoric for women that has worked tremendously over the past few decades to reimagine what it means to be a woman, while wholly neglecting that same formative possitive identity stereotyping for men.

    -The systematic deconstruction and demonisation of masculinity in the modern perspective, without replacing it with anything constructive of formative.

    -The continuation of selecting for those traits by women that in the same breath are stated to be unfavourable.

    Leading to what can be amounted to an identity crisis epidemic for contemporary men, and what masculinity means in the contemporary sense.

    Generally speaking, men will adopt traits that they observe women select for, and so performative masculinity will orientated itself towards what women select for. If we are to truly remove toxicity from society a part of that involved women being more self aware of the kinds of masculinity they promote in what they’re implying a preference for in their sexual selection choices.

    Likewise, less “traditionally” masculine men need to feel much more confident in their authenticity and acceptance in the hetero-normative arena, as it as a majour barrier to change that the loudest criticizers of old fashioned, stereotypical, “toxic” masculinity publically, are largely the same that are forbearing the proliferation of those traits in the social arena via preference biases in romantic selection.

    It’s a very confusing time for men, and masculinity. We need a clearer and more consistent message, and the contradictions need to stop; this also includes being more self aware about not proliferating the set of double standards expressed elsewhere in this thread, and beyond.

    We’ve all heard the saying about not having your cake and eating it too, you need to clarify what it is you actually want and expect from us, and most importantly, follow that through with actual changes to how you receive us in our genuinity, and what you communicate in your choices of consistency between what you say you want and what you actually select for.

  12. I’m in favor of more generous parental leave benefits for mothers and fathers. Even maternity leave is extremely limited for women in the United States. Expanding mandated parental leave for both parents, including equal time for dads, would have massive benefits within the family for men and women and help alleviate issues like the wage gap.

  13. That male children underperform compared to girls in almost every demographic in education. K-12 and increasingly in college and professional degrees. It’s particularly bad with Black and Hispanic males, but the gap really exists across all demographics and SES tiers and no one cares in the same way they would if it were girls underperforming in this way.

  14. Male raped shouldn’t be a joke. I still get chills when I remember all the women host talk shows talking down or making fun of male rape victims. Also I hate how one side the justice system is towards make and female cases

  15. The school system is stacked against boys and in favour of girls, and people don’t see this as a problem. Girls receive better grades for the same answers, and boys behaviours are treated like mental disorders (look up how many boys are on Adderall or Ritalin). Boys are really struggling with school right now, and nobody seems to care because enough are still making it to the top that their mental health crisis doesn’t seem to matter to anyone.

  16. Many men have stated what I would have said below.
    Their role as fathers, spouses, etc.

    I would say stop the stigma that men are child predators and are the only sex/gender of participating in said abuse.

    Men have such a spotlight that gets shone—only when it benefits negative stereotypes. We only get attention when “men” do something wrong, and therefore it’s a collective attribute.

    I was a private music instructor at a public studio, and I was taking on a new student who had bad separation anxiety. Our policy was the parents were more than welcome to participate in the studio rooms, but some parents opted not. This parent wanted to see how well her daughter could do without her there, so she said “I’m going to the bathroom”.

    After 20 seconds of her mom leaving, the girl just started screaming at the top of her lungs and I had no option but to run out of the room. Because what would people think? And even so—I looked guilty anyway “running” and overheard parents gossiping, wondering if they should call police, etc.

    The mom was right down the hallway and understood the situation. But the grouped perception other parents had was not synonymous with hers.

    I went and researched this, and found that you never see male teachers below the 5th grade level of school because men are made to be perceived they are child predators by their female counterparts.

    Would like people to understand that men do not own all the evil in the world.

  17. Parenting.

    Dad’s are equal parents and should be treated as such.

    It’s tiresome to hear “oh you’re on babysitting duty today”. No. That’s my kid. I’m parenting.

    Only getting a fortnight for Paternity leave.

    Fortunately this one never happened to me, but custody hearings always favouring the mother.
    My friend had to fight tooth and nail to see his kid after a divorce, the mother was an absolute cunt and wouldn’t stick to the courts ruling about visiting, would be proven to be lying and yet she was never penalised and he had to go without seeing his kid for ages.

    Media portrays dads as bumbling or clueless.

    Social media memes from mum groups implying they do all the work, and they have to badger or direct the dad on what to do, or suggesting they’re “heroes” and dads are useless.

    Generally, Dad’s do just as much caring for kids as mums but are seen as second class.

    It seems to be some kind of societally acceptable sexism.

    (Obviously there are exceptions. There are dad’s who don’t try or don’t care, but there are also mums who are exactly the same).

  18. Bisexuality among men. It has been widely accepted among females for decades, honestly to the point where society expects it, which is another issue in and of itself. The same isn’t true among men. If we come out as bisexual, we are either told that we’re greedy, “just confused” or actually gay and afraid to admit it, or that we have no control over our physical sexuality and just trying to take advantage. Also we’re seen as a risky choice when it comes to a serious relationship because if we’re bi, we’re “twice as likely to cheat” which is bullshit. A cheater is a cheater, doesn’t matter who they’re cheating on you with

  19. Education. Men are disappearing from post-secondary education. In the few male dominated fields that there are, they are trying very hard to get more women involved. But I don’t see vice versa very often.

  20. That men can be the victims of spousal abuse too and they’re not pussy’s and it’s not a joke and it’s just as wrong as when the man abuses his wife. Of course this goes for boyfriend girlfriend too.

  21. Ok i just wanted to comment about the circumcision, do not cut your baby it’s mutilation and has a variety of negative effects on the penis, most of which have already been mentioned in the comments.

  22. Sex toys. Completely okay and not weird (to a point). Sex toys are so normalised for women but if ur a dude they are seen as perverted or weird or it’s “sad” that you own them.

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