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What can I do with my time?

24M. So I used to smoke a lot of weed because I was bored and didn’t have anything to do. I got a girlfriend and I stopped smoking when I was around her, because I didn’t need drugs to make me happy or to escape. She passed away a few weeks ago and now I’m just lost. What can I do with my time that doesn’t involve drugs? I want to live happily and not hurt myself.

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46 Comments

  1. Read? Get a hobby that requires focus in the moment (martial arts classes are a good option, but hardly the only one), find someplace to volunteer. Look for things that require you to focus outwardly.

    But at the same time, you need to allow yourself the opportunity to grieve. Don’t bury that stuff, it’ll mess you up in the long run.

  2. We all need a vice or a distraction. Instead of locking yourself in with a new vice, try one outside. Start with walks. Pick up some trash (I actually started finding that fun and it helps the environment). Go on a hike. Bike. Golf. Don’t play video games or wood carve or any kind of vice that keeps you inside go outside. When you lose someone being indoors can get to comfortable

  3. Just learn an instrument man, doesn’t matter which one, you can get a good cheap guitar or piano for less then 100 bucks, you love music, everyone does and yet only a few challenge themselves to learn it because they think it’s to hard or because they won’t be the best at it when in reality with a pretty basic discipline and all the resources YouTube has its so easy to start playing something that sounds nice. I started playing electric guitar last year and I play EVERY DAY, not because I have to, but because I leave it outside the box, i just look at it and start fucking arround with it. Man it’s so much fun and rewarding. I recommend it to everyone. Not everyone is Mozart or Jimi Hendrix, but everyone can play cool and beautiful shit if they invest time, it can be hard sometimes but that’s because it’s an adventure. You mentioned happiness, If the pursuit of happiness is a road making music is a shortcut. Just try it man, trust me, and if you stop enjoying it just stop, you can always pick it up again later. I’m sorry about your girl, good luck!

  4. Hiking as others have said! Also, check to see if anyone is wanting players for D&D in your city. You’d be surprised at how friendly and welcoming the community can be. It’s a great distraction that’s full of creativity, goofs, cooperation, goofs, pretty dice that go clickity clack, the titular dungeons and/or dragons, and goofs! It’s great.

    If you ever had questions about how to get started as a player, I’d be happy to show you the ropes of what to expect if you don’t want to join a group completely blind about how the game works.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. That is awful, and must hurt so badly to miss her.

    ​

    I would recommend creative outlets, as well as therapy. I want you to be happy and healthy as well.

  6. Magic: The Gathering has been booming lately. I started about a year ago and has been a very fun way to spend my afternoons and hobby budget. Highly recommend giving it a try.

  7. Get a gym membership and have a set routine, like going to the gym immediately after or before work. It gets you out of the house, you better your health and body, chance of meeting new friends, exercising gives you endorphins which make you happy, and you make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.

  8. Audiobooks and walking/exploring was really great for me when I moved to a new country and didn’t know anyone.
    Gaming is always a great escape for me too, especially in the evenings if I didn’t have anything on.

  9. I was in a terrible place a couple of years ago and probably the best two things I did in my life were starting to lift weights and playing music. Music can freeze time dude, I would spend hours and days just locked in my bedroom learning new songs and not even notice how time passed. The gym gave me drive and discipline, not every day is easy but the final result that you strive for will keep you consistent. Both of these things are actually healthy and it could be a great way to channel your emotions and spend your time.

  10. Two things – something for when your by yourself(reading writing gaming) just make it a fun habit not a chore- and something to do with other people. Doesn’t matter what it is as long as it doesn’t feel like a job

  11. Try some random stuff. Pick the one that resonates with you. Find a way to monetise it. Now you’ve got yourself a side hustle that makes you money. The extra money will attract new women. And you’ve got plenty to choose you a replacement for your passed away girlfriend, of which by that time you’re not that much grieving about by then.

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