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What are your opinions on the whole “friends with benefits” concept? Would you lose respect for a friend if she wanted to kiss your 31C5 but not date you?

What are your opinions on the whole “friends with benefits” concept? Would you lose respect for a friend if she wanted to kiss your 31C5 but not date you?

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45 Comments

  1. when I was younger, I had a group of friends that was, uhh, pretty intertwined. we lived in a small town. in my experience, I and my friends would sometimes go to parties and sometimes end up leaving the party paired off. and we’d still ask each other a few days later to hang out, every time, like everything was normal— and it was awesome. it never affected the friendships between the people involved or anyone indirectly involved unless someone developed an unreciprocated crush (and couldn’t be an adult about it)

  2. Out of relationship, I enjoy having FWBs/f buddies . They were crucial for surviving the pandemic isolation. With some it evolves into more of a friendship, with some it devolves to just an occasional sex, or just fizzles out. Of course I’m not losing respect for someone who wants the same thing as I do.

  3. Im all for it as long as communication is clear. Make sure both people know it’s purely just for fun and not a relationship and if any feelings change be up front about it.

    We’re all adults, if I can hang out with a friend and get a blowjob too it’s a great time

  4. In theory it sounds great. Personally I wouldn’t lose respect for a friend but I’d want to ask them why they actually want such an arrangement. There’s very few people with dicks who don’t want their dick sucked. But as you get older at least, casual sex needs to happen in well defined terms. Is it sport fucking? Do you cuddle? Do you go on friend dates? Are you exclusive? Is it ok to blow the other person off for a romantic date with someone else?

    The whole “friends with benefits” thing just sounds too complicated to me. My philosophy is: Give me sex within a relationship, or just let me masturbate.

  5. In my limited experience it’s hard to not catch some type of feelings when you’re having sex with someone. You don’t have to be in a serious committed relationship if you two don’t want to go that far but it seems like just being two people who use each other to get off doesn’t work. It’s not something that can be done casually.

  6. No, I don’t see how or why I would lose respect for my adult friend having sexual desires and being mature enough to separate sexual wants from romantic interest. If a friend wanted me sexually but not romantically, that’s a compliment in my book and a sign of maturity to be able to know herself well enough to know what she wants. I like when my friends know themselves and go for what they want.

  7. No Bc then I’d have to lose respect for myself. Idk how we have frowned on women sucking dick in any way. Like the more we treat them poorly for doing it to whoever the less blowjobs we get.

    Would I respect myself any less for going down on a friend? Probably but just Bc I know that friendship will never be the same.

    But the thing is if they wanna hit it or I wanna hit it and me or them agrees we’re just as accountable for it happening. It’s not like I went down on her and she’s like you pathetic slut. Although that might be hot.

  8. Dude, it’s heaven if you can find emotionally mature people, you can share cool stuff, great sex and not being restricted by that “monogamic couple code”.

    If you want to try, I’ll let this for you:
    1. Be real and honest about what you want, if she is down, cool, but both have to be honest
    2. Not everyone is made for this, you have to respect that and understand that even if you want her and she wants you, if she is not (or you) emotionally and mentally ready is better for you to stay as friends, which is a cool thing, don’t treat being friends as a consolation prize
    3. Be clear about the rules and be open to them, remember that first and foremost you are friends, so make a deal where you feel comfortable and cool
    4. Don’t push it too much or do things together too often, give a breather and allow yourselves to remember that you are not a romantic couple
    5. When it comes to an end, embrace it, don’t beg for any type of reason, just say thank you and appreciate the experience and always be supportive with your friends, you are suppose to be cool with your friend at the end of the good times you had.

    Enjoy, always take care, you can be fucking around with several people if you want and can, but always be responsible, physically and emotionally with you fwb, never let your fun to affect anyone else. Have fun.🔥

  9. I think sex is a basic for humans, and I think it’s important for health and mentality.

    If we were friends and both single not in relationships,and had good boundaries then I wouldn’t have a problem helping you out when you were in need and would hope you’d do the same.

    It’s easy to see why feelings come with, obviously, but so long as expectations are clear and respected, I think it would work great.

  10. I personally would consider it if I thought she was hot, and I wonder what it would be like to have casual sex with a friend. But end of the day I know I’m the romantic type that would want to fall in love

  11. For me, I think I’d have a hard time not catching feelings. At least mild ones. If we get along well enough to be friends, and I find you attractive enough to bang? That’s enough for a crush in my book. So probably a no from me.

    But if people can do that, with proper communication, and have a good time with it? Go for it, no loss of respect here

  12. Friends with benefits are fun, but risky if someone catches feelings and it can fuck up the friendship/group.

    But I wouldn’t lose respect for a friend who wanted to enter that.

  13. No I wouldn’t lose respect for them. I had a good friendship with a woman who would go down on me every now and then if we hung out, not super often, but she did twice. Once when she was dying my hair and another time on her birthday. She’s the only legit friend I’ve had who I’ve had sexual relations with that didn’t turn bad or sour, and I have massive respect for her as she is a hard worker.

  14. It’s good on paper, but someone almost always develops feelings and gets hurt in my experience.

    In most cases though I think the “friend” part is not really there. I mean, it’s possible, but usually FWB is just regular casual sex with someone who is otherwise a stranger.

  15. After my divorce I had a friend of a friend who was just divorce too, she had complications from a late term miscarriage / car accident that had damaged her ovaries, uterus, clitorise and vigina. She couldn’t stimulate manually and was worried about being with a man. She had been judged because of her scars and that she would never be able to conceive again by some women friends and coworkers.

    So she was worried about finding someone who was discreet about helping, she didn’t want it to be another woman due to fear of being judged, and it couldn’t be someone she would be interested in being in a relationship with. She needed somewhere to live also, she insisted on being somewhere she felt safe and isolated, but not far from her work and family. I was living alone in the top floor of an industrial unit turned into a living space. Had 4 bedrooms and great views from the 5th floor overlooking the city, and was only 2 blocks from her work and about a mile from her Mom and Dad.

    Are mutual friend had discussed it with us several times before her and I meet. She wasn’t interested in me as a partner, nor was I her but are personalities clicked and said she felt really safe around me. The apartment was the icing on the cake for her. It was weird at first and then after months, one night we went from using fingers and toys to full on penetration. For what ever reason she was able to orgasim with me and sex made her feel normal. She taught me how to orally pleasure a woman, and she loved edging me and then coming back later to see if I could hold out longer and longer. She was a big help with my duration problem and worked with me until I was able to double.

    So it worked out for both of us, I learned a lot of new things and got to explore a woman with an amazing body and mind without any fear of being judged or rejection. And she got to live an amazing apartment and train a neanderthal who she passed off to her best friend.

    Were still friends and see each other often and my girlfriend and I named are daughter after her, it’s never felt weird and my girlfriend and I as her friends have supported her through career changes, bad relationships, she lived with us for several weeks during a cockroach infestation and then her going back and getting her PHD.

  16. me personally the emotional aspect has to be there to want to sleep with someone, otherwise I don’t see a point in it, hate feeling like a piece of meat who is just there to get someone off

  17. It never really worked for me. Eventually they wanted more and I was never in a space it give it. What should have been light and no strings turned complicated and irritating.

  18. I wouldn’t lose respect for her; but that would be her position… a friend who’ll suck my dick but not date me. Meaning I’ll treat you like I would any other friend, no special treatment

    But typically FWB aren’t with my actual friends; don’t shit where I eat

  19. Not a fan because im the one that catches feelings and feel mentally insane everyday that my fwb is possibly screwing other guys. It killed me for 2 years, like i couldnt even focus on work.

  20. >What are your opinions on the whole “friends with benefits” concept?

    It works sometimes for some people. Definitely NOT for everyone, but that’s OK.

    There are a lot of potential pitfalls of varying severity, but that’s just life, really.

    >Would you lose respect for a friend if she wanted to suck your dick but not date you?

    If she put it like that unprompted, maybe, since that would be kind of a douchey way to put things forward.

    If she acted normal, though, then that’s a pretty hard no.

  21. The whole thing is definitely not for me, I’d want to fuck somebody I love, I don’t want to fuck just for the sake of fucking.

    If I somehow had a lapse of judgement and did it though then I don’t think I’d lose all that much respect, I mean, I did the same thing she just did right?

    I’d probably be more disappointed in myself really, the little bit of respect I might lose for her would be tiny in comparison to my disappointment in myself. Things definitely would be awkward between us afterwards, especially since I’d see that interaction as a mistake, doubtful we’d ever come back from it.

  22. They’re great. Some % of girls are fuckable and want to fuck you and a subset of those are also datable. FWBs are what you do with the not-datable ones. I don’t really understand why certain women do them knowing they have the tendency to catch feels though.

  23. your question is so dumb. how do you even leave room for the possibility that you would “lose respect” for someone who enjoys sex? and in particular, enjoys doing something wonderful for you?

    totally stupid way of thinking.

    Try thinking this: wow am I lucky and wow is she great.

    Your question makes me think you’re a troll or an imbecile.

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