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What are some fun ways to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?

What are some fun ways to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?

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  1. My ex’s dad is self employed, all around real estate agent/broker, contractor, handyman.
    his first wife’s job had a bunch of parties to host clients, and he would tell each separate group of people that eh was a different profession like a chef, truck driver, surgeon, CIA agent, and let her deal with the questions the next day at work. Maybe that’s one reason she’s an ex-wife.

  2. Depends on how good or bad of a day for “how’s it going?”

    Bad day – “going about as well as someone trying to french kiss a Cobra” or “I’d rather be stabbing my ears with a qtip right now”

    Good day – “it’s going”

    As for the “what do you do”, I usually just answer “I get to make holes in a wall with a drill” or ” My drill goes VVVRRRRRRRRR”

  3. Depends on who’s asking and how much of a smartass I want to be. But if I’m really swinging for the fences I go with the following:

    How’s it going? “Just waiting for later when I can get higher than giraffe pussy”

    What do you do? “I fix things that other people are either too dumb or too lazy to fix themselves. And believe me, business is good.”

  4. Genuinely authentic responses.

    “It’s going rough, I’m on the Ricks and struggling to get to calmer waters, I’m relying heavily on friends like you and I want to let you know how valued you are in my tribulations.”

    “What do I do? I’m an adventurer, amateur treasure hunter, I am a lover, a friend and someone’s enemy. I hunt track and eat beasts of the land, I form the minds of children. I drive economies and command a household. What do I do? I live everyday.”

  5. When people ask how it’s going I sometimes point at my boots and say “the rubber side is down so that’s a good sign”

    I also used to write “this side up” on my hard hat. When people asked about that I would say “if you see me any other way… Check on me”

  6. I drive a bus so hows it going is “round and round” or “better than I deserve”, or “could be worse”

    What do you do “I drive people around in circles”

  7. Friends had a funny episode (I know right) where Chandler’s job was reduced to the nonsense word “transpondster” by Rachel – a kind of vague, I work with data and spreadsheets and emails kinda job. So that’s how I answer that cause it’s true

  8. At work, when EVER I’m asked “how’s it going?” I look them in the eye, and with a complete deadpan expression and tone, I always reply with “Cosmic”

    People expect it now, and even after 4 years they still chuckle.

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