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What amount of eye contact do you give men and women?

Thought about this the other day when I visited a friend of mine. He worked in construction for 20+ years. Tough son of a bitch. He always pierces into everyone’s soul. He looks away randomly, but usually doesn’t. Just got me thinking if it’s just his generation that does that.

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  1. Generally speaking a couple seconds of eye contact and then looking away for a second or two, and then re-establishing eye contact.

    But the more I actually like a person, or the closer to them I feel, the more eye contact I give them. Me and my ex used to just stare into each other’s eyes for ridiculous amounts of time. It was weirdly intense.

  2. I learned a while ago to look EVERYONE in the eyes when i speak to em. Some people jus focus on the middle of the other persons forehead but when i look men in the eye theres a sense of respect that i feel. When i look women in the eye theyre quite charmed.

  3. I was always really great at eye contact, until this year. The mask is so demoralizing for me, but I wear it anyway. Why, you may ask, is it demoralizing to me? The eye contact can be seen two different ways: staring, or friendly. Smiling under the mask just doesn’t show itself the same way. Making eye contact with no additional “context” is just uncomfortable. Anyway, the little amount of time I spend outside of my home now, I just go in to do what I need to do, then I leave. No eye contact, nothing. Get in, get out. It’s been a lonely, sad, year.

  4. Less and less the older I get. Either I feel like I’m staring down a guy with some dominance move, or I’m about to rape a girl.

    I try to make sure we lock eyes occasionally in conversation with a smile but otherwise keep it down, especially as a slightly taller, bigger guy I think this helps me on average.

  5. Minimal with most people because I feel awkward looking at people’s eyes if I’m not VERY close with them. I can’t even look some of my guy friends in the eye because it just feels weird for me and makes me uncomfortable

  6. I was taught that if you look someone in the eye it is a sign of aggression so I never look people in the eye. I often find myself looking past people when I talk to them.

  7. Context is very important here. Making eye contact with a smile is very different than with a scowl. So eye contact in itself is ambitious.

    Also, context of the encounter has as much to do with it as well. Not staring a guy down who is taking a whiz in the urinal next to me or the lady getting into the car next to me one a dark night. Will look someone (man and woman) in the eye when we talk. It shows respect, you’re listening and engaged, interested in them, and confidence.

    I am always amazed at how many people always lack nuance such as context in social settings and then only see the creepy in everything and everyone. I speculate it is more about justifying some people’s insecurity in social situations (e.g. don’t have the confidence or social skills to look someone in the eye).

  8. for me its a hearing issue. i am partially deaf in my right ear, and struggle to hear soft voices. so with women i tend to look into their eyes for a shorter time and then look at their lips while they are talking. so i can read their lips and understand what they are saying. while men tend to have stronger voices and i can hear them much easier. i will tend to keep eye contact with them a lot longer. but as OP stated i come from a construction background and eye contact is 90% of any kind of visual talking in construction. so that may be just a construction thing.


    for a generational thing… im only 28 years old so not sure about that.

  9. Few seconds on few off. Unless I know the person well or am angry.

    Im not out here trying to emotionally connect with people, too exhausting. Generally trying to move that convo right the fuck along.

  10. I don’t look anybody in the eye because as a kid whenever I tried to look somebody in the eye they’d always instantly avert their eyes, only exceptions being family. My ugly ass must’ve been too much for them or something, I just subconsciously decided to not creep people out by looking them in the eye anymore.

  11. I typically don’t look at anyone directly, but I do always have my head on a swivel and don’t give anyone more than a 3 second look. that doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s just enough to size you up, roughly try to guess your personality and identify important physically features such as skin blemishes body damage etc etc. If most people see me do it they seem taken back like I’m into them. I am physical detail wise but sexually, no. You don’t know how often I get accused of mentally undressing people

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