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We’ve all talked about red flags when dating a woman but what about ‘green flags’? What signals that you’re dating a good woman?

We’ve all talked about red flags when dating a woman but what about ‘green flags’? What signals that you’re dating a good woman?

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  1. Kindness and accountability.

    Is she nice to people who aren’t useful to her or are powerless to hurt her? (aka The waiter test) Yes? Great sign. When she fucks up, does she take responsibility for it? Another great sign.

    These are the 2 traits that separate LTR women from casual fling women. Do not ever tangle your life up with someone who is missing either of these traits.

  2. It feels good when if there’s something you feel insecure about yourself, they just don’t have a problem with it. It’s so reassuring and really lifts.

  3. Whenever we’re in a social situation, my wife makes a point to laugh at every one of my jokes. At home she can take them or, more often, leave them (with good reason, I’m not that funny) but she never leaves me hanging when we’re around others, even if she’s the only one who heard it or the only one laughing. Almost always makes other people laugh at the joke instinctively too. Didn’t really realise she did it until a few months ago but she’s been doing it for years.

    I love my wife.

  4. When I started dating my wife I was in a deep, deep depression. Really not in a place to date but doing it anyway for some reason.

    About a month or so into dating her, I felt I had to tell her. It wasn’t fair to keep it from her, especially when I had to cancel dates and stuff because I just couldn’t.

    I said “I feel like I have to tell you that I have depression and I’m really struggling”

    Her response: “I know” followed by a smile and a hug.

    Quality woman right there.

    Edit: it’s our fourth wedding anniversary today, and we’ve got a baby on the way 🙂

  5. When we were dating, I had an interview out of state. Shortly before, like a day or two, my cat started acting weird and we knew something was wrong. I knew the end was close but this job could have changed my life.

    She stayed at my place the two days I had to travel for the interview. Took care of my cat like it was her own and dealt with some rough stuff. When I got back, It was time, but I knew someone willing to help me and my pet get through that……. We’ve been married for 12 years.

    The job never happened due to a low ball offer but something better came out of it

  6. First time meeting each other, not even a date yet. Opened the car door for her, while walking around to my side, saw her reaching over to open my door. That was all it took.

  7. Before we started dating my gf and I didn’t have much time to see each other (we both had college and worked jobs outside of school and homework) so whenever we had the chance even if it was just to say “hey” in person we took it

    Well one day she was doing a fundraising lunch in the cafeteria of our school, she told me she was in there and to come say hi

    I walk in everyone is eating and talking and I’m the only person up and walking it was awkward af

    So she stands up, gives me a big hug and talks for a few minutes with me! It meant a lot bc I’m pretty introverted and shy

  8. In general, any communication about boundaries is a great sign. It shows healthy communication, maturity and a desire to maintain the relationship. A quote I heard that always stuck with me (though I forget the exact wording):

    “Boundaries aren’t an attempt to punish or hurt you, they’re an attempt to preserve a relationship”

  9. The first green flag for me was when she stayed my place for the second night. She woke up before and waited until I woke up. As soon as I opened my eyes she asked if I slept okay and wanted to talk about any nightmares (I get them a lot) and then immediately got up a brought me a glass of water. That was nearly 3 months ago and I still haven’t forgotten about it

  10. She is nice to people other than me. My wife is never mean to anyone, and observing that is what made me love her. We knew each other as teenagers, and even as a teenager, she was incredibly kind. Even kids who were very unpopular she wouldn’t hesitate to strike up a friendly conversation with them.

  11. Likes you for who you are but wants to still see you improve. Current girlfriend is also in the same program and literally made me get my grades up and start working out. She still liked me for who I was, but likes me more now. She shouldn’t feed your self destructive habits, but shouldn’t degrade you at all

  12. To me, the ultimate green flag is when she makes an effort to see the world through other people’s eyes. To understand other people’s perspectives. To grasp that no human does anything for no reason, that everyone is on their own journey through life.

  13. These are all signs of a good partner regardless of gender, but here’s the first few that came to mind:

    When she’s upset, she tells you why.

    She has hobbies and interests other than Netflix.

    She likes to make solid plans with you a day or two ahead of time. Shows she respects your time and isn’t holding out for a better offer.

    She keeps phone time to a minimum when you’re together.

  14. A big green flag for me are those small acts of genuine empathy and kindness. When a woman takes time out to be there for her friend who’s struggling. When she’s patient with a server having a bad day and isn’t upset or put off to have to wait for something. When she wants to go out of our way for some small thing like calling in a leak at a public water station in a park.

    Sure, people do fake that stuff, but generally it’s a great sign that a person has a good heart and isn’t the selfish or self absorbed sort. It’s also just admirable to be a community oriented person like that. I’d rather take care of and be the voice of reason for a partner who gives to much than struggle against a partner who gives too little.

  15. My wife was the first woman who I was with that when she found out I loved a sport, immediately dove in, with no prior knowledge or interest. She just wanted to spend time with me and enjoy something I Enjoy. It’s the same reason I now have more interest in rupaul drag race than I ever thought I would. She just wanted to be apart of something that made me happy for the sake of making me happy. It was so simple but so important. I mean she chose to be a fan of my team’s division rival, but hey take the wins where you get em

  16. I met my wife when I was down on my luck. In my 20’s, college drop out, just quit my job, living at parents house, surviving on $40 a week. She wasn’t bothered by any of that. She helped me put together a resume and find a new job, and encouraged me to go back to school. It was a grind, but she saw potential in me that I didn’t. She was there when I was at my lowest and will be there when I am top.

    The great ones see you for who you are, not what you can provide. They will support you and be your friend when you need one.

  17. So much of my dating advice comes down to studying the way her friends react to you. But in this case one of the strongest green flags there is is watching the way her girlfriends eyes light up when you mention the possibility of dating her.

  18. My then-new-girlfriend flew to San Antonio, TX with my parents to my Air Force basic training graduation. We got together VERY quickly right before I left, so she met my parents essentially on her own, AND THEN flew down with them and stayed with them in a hotel.

    THEN she flew once and drove TWICE to visit me while I was in tech school in west central Texas. That’s some dedication boys. Happily married 12 years this August.

  19. They tell you when they’re upset. I’ve been with so many people who won’t say anything then explode on me later that when someone is silent or says they’re fine, I just go with it

  20. Being happy while alone

    You cant be happy with someone if you cant be happy without them

    Someone whos content with their life and youre merely an addition instead of latching onto you to fill a void

    My most recent ex wasnt bad in any way, but she wasnt good on her own, we broke up so she could work on that without me “picking up the slack” as she put it

    Im much happier with my current partner though, who loves spending time with me as much as I do with her but we then part ways to live our own lives contently with our own friends and our own hobbies, then we share those things with one another, and if we are too busy to spend time together then its no big deal we just make up for it later on

  21. Shows genuine interest, invest in convo, ask questions, doesnt play games, it is direct and upfront.
    Starts the conversation. Knows when she did wrong and how to properly apologise.

  22. I just started dating a girl that whenever feels uncomfortable cuz of something that occurred between us will let me know. explain what she feels, works with me to understand what was meant to be said, what was inferred and we both get to a conclusion with a solution to the situation as a team. and she accepts blame whenever she’s guilty. i’m shocked and super happy of having found her.

  23. Willingness to grow. I tried to break it off with a girl once, she called to ask what she could have done differently, not to fix our relationship, rather so that she’ll know for the next time. And here we are, almost 14 years later…

  24. She does and/or buys things for you when it’s completely unnecessary.

    Of all my relationships, the best one was the one who would randomly buy me gifts (simple things like a cheap shirt) or do something for me that made life easier (like organize or set something up). It meant a lot and in turn I started to do that more for her.

    In short: Selflessness.

  25. If they respect your silence, time and peace. A good person in general wouldn’t shame you for hanging out with friends, needing to be on your own or just wanting to be quiet when you’re with them, everybody deserves to feel comfortable with themselves or others and these three are really good ways to prolong a relationship instead of speedrunning it in a few months cause you get bored of each other

  26. With my wife when we started dating she accepted that I have custody of my 8yr old and my 12yr old. Despite what most women say when a man has kids it is a big issue for most. She was honest with me and told me that she was looking for a man with no kids but found that usually they tend to be selfish. We both agreed to bring my kids around after we were dating long enough to know that we were right for each other. She has shown us nothing but respect and love. It has not been easy, but she puts in so much effort.

  27. When I started dating my wife, my Mom said “Look at her hands. She’s no stranger to work.” That was true then and still is today. No, she doesn’t have lumberjack hands, (I have those), but she isn’t scared to mess up her nail polish, or Heaven forbid, even chip one. She’s a doer. I wanted a woman to stand beside me and work as hard as I do. That’s what I got, and I’m damned grateful for her.

  28. At an extended family Easter party, my girlfriend hugged my grandfather when we were leaving and told him “I love you.” I immediately thought “This is the woman I’m going to marry!” Proposed five months later. We’ve been married since July 1998.

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