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Those of you who are ‘desperate for a relationship’ how come? What is it you are needing?

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12 Comments

  1. Ugh I hate it when people refer to the longing for a partnership as “desperation” when having the same goal oriented energy towards careers and fitness goals is considered ‘driven’ and ‘ambitious’.

    People need to stop feeling ashamed of having partnership goals and striving for them. Sure sometimes the ‘step back and it will fall in your lap’ approach works for some. But for a huge percentage of people who know they need to put themselves out there, or face a lot of trial and error in order to find the right person and learn more about themselves… it is bad advice.

    Most people need connection, it is a foundation for a generally contented and happy life to be surrounded by people who have your back, both platonically and romantically. It’s generally nice to have someone you can spend a mundane wednesday night with, its nice to have someone to snuggle with in bed, and to share your heartaches and joys with.

  2. I wouldn’t say desperate. Like others have stated, it’s nice having a hug and being able to spend time with someone. As a person who enjoys physical contact, it’s hard going long periods of time without a long hug from someone I am close to emotionally. I am not one to just touch people or want anyone to touch me (especially now with COVID) but I would like a hug and to cuddle someone, and have someone to be able to tell anything to.

  3. I wouldn’t say I’m desperate but I do crave love and affection from someone of the opposite sex every now and then. The feeling of romantic intimacy and closeness with another human being is something I desire but my age is very worrying. I have hobbies, goals, and take care if myself albeit a bit ugly lol I’m content 90% of the time by myself, I very much enjoy solitude but every now and then I do get lonely.

  4. I think it depends on the individual. Some people was the freedom to have sex with different people and do whatever they want. Personally, I’m very introverted; I don’t care to have friends or socialize. But I love having my SO to spend all my spare time with, confide in, cuddle and sex with them is so much more meaningful and exciting to me. (And safe.) So I prefer a healthy relationship and no friends. When I’m single I spend my time alone and I only seek human interaction to find a love interest, and when I’m happily in a relationship I need Noone else.

  5. I wouldn’t say I am desperate, but never being in a relationship at my age is starting to worry me. I decided that I wanted to try and pursue a romantic relationship for the same reasons that others here have mentioned. It’s gonna be a wild ride.

  6. That’s something that’s been growing in my mind recently. It’s an addiction really like the feeling of wanting to drink or eat. The only difference is I won’t die if I don’t get it.

  7. I suppose I may not be your target audience here, as I’m only desperate at specific points in time, but generally that desperation involves the lack of sexual contact, especially casual sexual contact that doesn’t require a whole to-do to acquire.

    Lack of romantic connection and intimacy is also a factor in desiring a romantic and sexual partner, but usually it only really gets to *desperation* levels when sexual frustration hits a peak.

    Lack of love is more like a baseline, background melancholy where my life is, like, 10-20% worse than it would be if I were in a good, healthy relationship.

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