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The government says, “All men must report to the Army. We’re going to war.” How do you react?

The government says, “All men must report to the Army. We’re going to war.” How do you react?

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  1. A draftee ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.”

    The nun agreed. A moment later two, MPs ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a man on the run?”

    The nun pointed down the street and replied, “He went that way.”

    After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to war.”

    The nun said, “I understand completely.”

    The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs.”

    The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls. I don’t want to go to war either.”

  2. Depends on the reason for war. Unless someone is directly invading, I’m a conscientious objector. I don’t see any reason why I should go to some other country to get shot at and kill people who’ve never bothered me before.

    Throw me in prison for it, I don’t care. I’m not fighting and dieing in a war that only benefits the rich.

  3. If it’s it to prevent or stop an invasion of my homeland then I’d be willing. Hell, even if it was like a WW2 scenario where I’d be sent to another continent to stop an authotarian conquest then I’d be down. But if it’s Vietnam type situation then you best believe I’m draft dodging.

  4. I’m almost 50 years old, married, with children, and oh yeah, an honorably discharged Navy veteran. You must be *really* desperate if you want me, but okay, I guess. I did it before; I can do it again. But can I go back to my old job maybe?

  5. * Show them my honorable discharge from the Marines.
    * Show them my honorable discharge as an Air Force officer.
    * Show them my bigass grey beard.
    * Tell them to go fuck themselves.
    * Start loading mags and barricading my door for when they try to come get me.
    * Misbehave

  6. Depends on the war: the reasons for it, the posture (defensive/offensive), adversary, whether there is an actual congressional declaration of war or not, etc.

    I’ll fight to defend my nation all day. I’ll fight to prevent or eliminate a hostile threat my nation when the proof is available. I won’t fight to plunder from other nations, and I won’t fight to oppress their people – though it may be necessary to seize (military or infrastructure) assets and police their populace for a brief period to ensure future peace.

    “Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government [only] when it deserves it.” – Mark Twain

    So based on the majority of the last 50-60 years, my answer would probably be, “Fuck you. I already did my time. Either kill me or leave me out of it. Whatever you choose, I won’t be conscripted.”

  7. Pulling the last surviving son card. If that doesn’t work I’ve watched enough Naruto to understand the power of the nindo way. I’ll use that power to make the great ninja war happen.

  8. Depends who we are going to war with and why. If its valid (example: China rolling in to occupy my country and enslave the local population in labor camps) I join and do my best to wipe out the other side.

    If I strongly disagree then it would really depend on the specific scenario. For example my country invading China to occupy them would be a no go for a range of reasons on my end.

  9. I laugh – been there done that have the tee shirt, medals, and fuck load of bad memories. I will do you the favor no one did for me. I will wave goodbye to you when you are on the transports, and possibly when you come back. Depending if the news lets us know.

    I will not talk shit about you in my classroom. I will not slight you because of political view. I will not look at you askance when you talk about the war. I will not accuse you of a poorly formed brain due to my decision to support the republic. All of these have happened to me – from the loving public that I stood for. God bless America – am i right.

  10. The sad truth is most Americans would be ineligible to join due to being too fat, dumb, or past criminal records. Last I read 71% of young Americans simply don’t met the requirements.

  11. If it is a war worth fighting for, I would be first in line.

    I am strong and I can run so fitness wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe I’d actually be good at something, maybe I’d make some friends that last, maybe I’d get the discipline I always needed.

    Currently I don’t have anything to look forward to, just stuck and haven’t made any progress for 10 years. Tired of it and I am out of steam. Don’t have much yearning to live anymore, I am ready to die. And if my life means others can live and be safe, all the better, at least my life meant something.

    Once my failing business bites the bullet, I am heavily considering signing up.

  12. I’m selecting the coast guard, navy, or Air force. I have no desire to join the army!

    It’s also sexist that women don’t have to serve, it’s only fair that both sexes have to sign up.

  13. Generally confused. I was in the Navy, had an in demand technical role, and now work for the dod in an in demand technical role.

    Why anyone would want to put me in the army is beyond me.

    Even if there was a large scale war that necessitated a massive draft, I’m sure the military could find something better for me to do.

    But yeah, I’d show up and try not to get shot by the guys who’ve never handled a gun and would currently be losing their shit (I would be too but I have enough practice keeping that to myself).

  14. If it was against Communist China, I’d go with very little hesitation. If it was against another 3rd world country, I’d probably be more likely to speak out against it. It depends on who we’re fighting is what I’m trying to say. Because excuse my language, but fuck the CCP.

  15. I’ll end up being assigned to the admin or financing department as I have a heart condition and an almost qualified professional accountant so I would not be too worried. My brother works at a government department so he will stay in the office doing strategy and planning. My dad works in IT and too old to fight so he’ll be involved in system management/ cyber warfare.

    I’ll just see it as national duty.

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