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Straight men of Reddit, what are some of the things you do when you hang out with your buddies?

Some background: I’m a gay man who was bullied pretty badly in school so every single one of my friends have been women all my life. No brothers or a close father figure either. So now I have about zero experience interacting with straight men, it’s super embarrassing!
Which brings me to my question. Some of my close friends’ boyfriends invited me to a “boys night.” I really want to leave a good impression and pretend like I can fit in with the boys. What do straight men normally talk about? What do they drink? What are some activities they do? Are any topics off limits?

Thanks!

Edit: Thanks for the great advice everyone! The main theme seems to be just be yourself and go with the flow. I felt a whole lot better reading through the comments, so appreciate all the replies 😊

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30 Comments

  1. Normally we just drink and play video games or board/card games. I say be yourself though. If they know you’re gay and invited you to hang out, then they obviously have no issue with that. I’ve got a ton of gay friends I hang out with regularly and the biggest thing is treating everyone exactly the same. Once when you ultimately realize people are all just people, it makes social interactions so much easier to deal with.

  2. We talk about the latest music, sports, video games, movies. Just general things like that. Sometimes get into heated discussions. Make stupid jokes. Even make fun of each other. It depends who they really are honestly. Gotta feel out the vibe first. What do we drink? Lol we are normal human beings too 😂 we drink beer liquor wine, like I said it depends who they really are. Just go with the flow, crack some jokes, engage in the convos, put your opinions in there to start discussion etc.

  3. I think your particular situation can be, but must not be too complicated.

    Men my age (30+) usually talk about the day to day life and or hobbies a lot… those range from the automotive world to IT and such… try and talk about your hobbies too, but not too much, show interest (even if it is boring as hell) in their hobbies or their day to day life, just like with every other person on this planet, it is appreciated if you show them, that you listen…

    Don’t worry about drinks and food, drink whatever everyone else is having, because it makes you part of the “gang” or “clique” or whatever you want to call it…

    And most importantly, be your flipping self, because nobody can be comfortable when they have to put up a facade.

    I sincerely hope it works out for you mate.

  4. If you want actual straight man friends then just be yourself. If they can’t get down with you for who you are they aren’t worth your time. I’m a straight Man with a few good buddies that are gay and I like them because they just are who they are, like I would never refer to them as my “gay friends”, it shouldn’t be about gay or straight. As far as what we do it depends on who came up with the plans, but my advice there is go with the flow, just do whatever they are as long as it’s safe and legal. Drinks, again be you. I have straight friends who drink cosmos and shit and I have gay friends who pound 40’s, again don’t be anything but yourself. Topics usually aren’t off limits with me and my particular group of friends but read the room. Ya know if Bills favorite chicken just got run over don’t make chicken crossing the road jokes. Guys shouldn’t still be juvenile after high school and if they are again they aren’t worth your time. Just be you Bro! Good luck.

  5. Just be yourself. I’d respect you a lot more for just being yourself than trying to act in a way you think I’d like. Personally IMO who you sleep with doesn’t define you as a person. Go! don’t be shy have fun. Be yourself. Just don’t talk about sucking dicks And stuff and you’ll be fine. lol. Drink what you like. Talk about what excites you as a person. Differences are what makes life exciting.

  6. I don’t know what the majority of straight men do when they hang out…

    When I hang out with my male friends we just sit around and talk, or go for a swim and talk, or have lunch/dinner and talk. We talk about growing up, relationships, work, business, whatever.

    Just be yourself, you were invited as you are so just be who you are.

  7. We talk about our interests, which may be surprisingly close to your own. Culture, music, family, work, gossip about other guys, food, alcohol, etc. Lots of men talk about stories from their past and exchange them with other men like it’s the book “The Giver”, IMO. Pick up on a topic in their conversation that you’re comfortable talking about & then add your thoughts to the conversation.

    Best of luck at your guys night! Also if you’re always around women, you may have a lot more to offer some conversations than you think! If a guy is struggling with his relationship, you may have some insight to solving his issue with his partner. That’s a big bro moment and just one of the reasons I love my gay friends.

  8. Videogames, fish, grill out and talk. Some people drink, my circle really doesn’t. Discussions usually involve the family, work stories, stories in general. Sports gets touched on. But with us, literally just talking and relaxing and eating.

    You work right? Have idiots you encounter? Like certain foods? You can find a common ground somewhere.

  9. Play video games, watch a movie or sports. Honestly it’s just a lot of bullshitting. One of my friends is into anime/comics but also produces music, so we mostly bullshit about one of those topics or check out a new anime or something. My other group of friends are into video games/DND/MTG and we mostly bullshit about one of those topics or spitball ideas for builds or decks. My other group of friends are really into sports and do fantasy and all that jazz so usually it’s a lot of bullshitting about sports or whatever . It’s one of those things where knowing a little about a lot will go a long way. And if you don’t know anything about a topic be willing to ask about it or do a quick Google search to get more info on it.

  10. I think the best thing to do would be to drop the assumption that the question “what do straight men […]?” has an answer.

    It will very much depend on age, culture, personality and most of all the individual.

    So conversation topics, drinks, activities will all depend on your friends (and you!). When in doubt: ask.

    – With some of my friends I don’t talk for very long. We like to play board games and eat food. We drink soda.

    – Another friend really enjoys “deep” conversations (religion, politics, philosophy) and he’s a tea connoisseur so we drink a lot of tea with supposedly subtle flavours that I don’t notice.

    – Another friend likes beer and whiskey and watching television series, and he tells me about all the women he went on dates with while I sigh and shake my head.

    But be yourself, see what *you* enjoy doing, and when in doubt: ask.

  11. Is the boys’ night at someone’s house or going out? If going out, it’ll probably involve drinking at bars. If at someone’s house, probably drinking at home and video games. As for conversation, depends a lot on the group what they like to talk about. I think most men would be comfortable with anything. Though one difference between men and women might be that, for men, it’s a bit less ok to ask details about a man’s romantic relationships and sex life unless he starts talking about those things. That’s my experience at least.

  12. I imagine that they know you’re gay, right? In that case, just be yourself, if they invited you they accept that sides of you (if they do not, they’re not worth your time)

    What straight guys do depends on the guys, the occasion, the place, the group… Often we chat, laugh, play video/card/board games, drink/eat something, mock each other… Please be careful about guys making fun of each other, they would probably not mean to offense anyone if they mock you or someone else, but if something makes you uncomfortable state it, set your boundaries. If they don’t accept that, that would be disrespectful. Unfortunately it’s common to mock each other with gay-related jokes, although not meant to be homophobic. That could happen and, again, advise them that this makes you uncomfortable if it is the case, they probably want you to have a good time and they’ll avoid it

    Hope you have a great boys night, let us know how it goes! 🌃

  13. Do and drink whatever you want, but whatever you do, stay yourself. Heck, if the other dudes are pretty openminded, you can even flirt with them a little, as a joke. But notice the limit with that tho, don’t over do it. Some have higher limits with gay jokes, others not so much. You have to find that out for yourself. Maybe try to talk about stereotipically manly stuffs that you know about, if you can’t really find some other topic.

  14. Me and my friends usually go shooting, talking about guns, travel for bomb ass BBQ, talk about investing, get side tracked on conversations that range from so and so getting a new boat to that latest MMA fight.

    We just chill, I usually antagonize his 130lb German Shepard cause I know I will always win that wrestling match.

    We don’t usually drink more than a few beers. Maybe a shot if I don’t plan on driving home.

  15. Not sure about others, but my groups of friends tend to gravitate to fixing problems at someone’s house or car.

    So we plan to get together at one of our houses or cottages, we plan who and what to cook and drink (could be steaks, bbq, make your own pizza, sushi etc) and then within half hour of everyone getting there someone brings up a topic that needs fixing:

    “My brakes are squealing” or “the dock is shifting right and left and I don’t know why” or “hey I need help lifting this heavy things I couldn’t do myself”.

    If it can be fixed that day, we usually pitch in and get it done. If it’s a bigger project, we tend to book a weekend in the near term to do it.

    While the task is done, we usually talk about how the kids are growing up and what issues were seeing or have seen and discuss fathering tips. We discuss work issues and talk about decisions we have to make and the pros/cons of it. We also tell funny stories about each other’s kids or spouses or gf’s that happened.

  16. Depends on the group, but football season in the US is starting soon, might be some talk of fantasy football, lots of the drafts happened this week. And yes, most of us are barely more than big children )

  17. Talk, catch up, have a few beers, maybe cook food or go out to eat, hikes, bike rides, brewery. Keep in mind that these are things I have done over many years. Not all the time. Just enjoy each other’s company.

  18. Dude, nobody cares that you’re gay or don’t have much male friends.

    I don’t say that to bash you or anything like that; we straight men (well, most of us, the adult normal ones) just want to have a laidback night and will accept you for who you are.

    To give a specific answer, we usually eat, drink, play games (the traditional kind or the videogame kind), watch a movie, talk. Stuff like that.

    You don’t need to do anything or pretend to be anyone else to make a good impression.

    I don’t know how old your are, but the older you get the more you simply appreciate the simple fact that someone shows up.

    If you want to make a good impression and show some effort, maybe bring a bottle of wine or beer or something like that. That’s always appreciated and gives you something to talk about to break the ice.

    Edit, wanted to add: we (the men) usually also just appreciate a night without the wife/girlfriend, even though we love them very much, and there isn’t much you can do to screw that up, unless you plan to bring your own girlfriend. Don’t do that.

  19. MMm well me and my buddies are pretty diverse so we talk about all kinds of stuff. Games like D&D or video games are good topics but read the room. Being straight vs being gay isn’t as different as you might think. Unless they’re total losers they’re not going to comment on every woman’s tits or what they’d fantasize about doing to her.

    Be yourself don’t try to “fit in” because that’ll come off fake as fuck and will creep them out.

    Do you work out, go to the gym?

    Do you run? or whitewater raft? none of these things are super masculine but they make for good conversation starters.

    I’ve been bare assed naked in a room of 40 other bare assed naked strangers at social events and it wasn’t awkward because everyone was just there to meet new people and hang out.

    If you go out to eat ask them what’s good and start a conversation about food and the different foods you’ve tried what you liked vs what was gross. Dont be afraid to listen the because the burden of conversation should be shared by all equally.

    Last tip unless they ask about relationship status like married/girlfriend etc don’t make your sexuality a forefront of conversation let them know you as a person before the preconceived notions take hold. I’m not saying hide it but let them see it doesn’t define you.

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