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Straight guys – how often does it happen that you really like a girl but don’t tell her, and if so why?

I’m interested to know if you can ever really like a woman but despite the strength of your feelings you can’t/won’t tell her for some reason.

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30 Comments

  1. It’s pretty common for a lot of straight men, fear of rejection, fear or being called a creep etc. This seems like it’s talked about enough or at least common sense. Most of it isn’t gendered.

  2. Afraid that direct confrontation might ruin our existing friendship, so I just keep it in myself. I know it’s bad and shit, but I’d rather prefer her as a good friend than proposing to her, getting rejected, and probably never talking to her again (I’m not gonna get a girl this way, I’m aware)

  3. -Men can really “like” a girl but fail to act on it just like women can like a guy but fail to act on it.

    -For a guy, reasons may include…

    Liking her but also knowing it wouldn’t be a good match long term.

    Not having enough of a clue what you’re doing as a man in dating to know how to initiate and lead interactions in the direction you’d like them to go.

    You like her but your interest level isn’t high enough to go for something with her.

    You simply lack the balls to be confident and go for what you want.

  4. Met a girl who was an intern to a company near mine. Instant crush, she ticked all the boxes in my list of “ideal woman”. First I’ve ever met to do so. Slight problem… She was 23 and I was 40.

    So, yeah, I did not told her.

    And was it hard ? Yes, it was very, very hard.

  5. thta happenned to me twoce in high-school, the first time was because fear of rejection (i later found out she already had a BF, so i had no chances anyway) the second time was because she was a really good friend, and i really didn’t want to ruin that friendship with the implication that i had feelings for her

  6. After I while you just LDAR. You already know they are not interested, you find enjoyment in other things. I’m going college to study welding, have pets, have hobbies, love good food. Just be aware of blackpill, but don’t let it crush you and stay distracted.

  7. back in my youth I feared getting rejected and then permanently shamed by my school peers. If I liked a girl in my class, there would be no real way to escape the ‘creep’ callings and the subsequent mockery.

    now, I suck up my feelings without telling because I already have a partner ahah.

  8. The times it did happen it was because they either were in a relationship already and i accidentally fell for them, or because i valued their friendship more than i would ever value a romantic relationship.

    A reason i have developed over the years is that I seem to have a type, and my type is girls with borderline. So when I fall for a woman in a certain way, she most probably has bpd and I should not get into any romantic relationship with them. Honestly, me and my d*ck could be hired as a diagnostic tool.

  9. It has happened a lot when I was younger, not so much lately. It was a mixture of being too shy to approach them and tell them, fear of rejection, the girl in question being in a relationship or just thinking “she’ll never be interested in you so forget it”. Still have feelings for one of them years later after we first met but don’t see the point in telling her as she moved away years ago due to her job, she’s not planning on coming back and she’ll want fellas miles more better and worthy than me.

  10. Every now and again. It’s honestly been a while since I’ve had a big crush on a friend. I do have a few female friends who I’d probably date if they asked me out as I’ve found them attractive in the past, and some colleagues who, if I met them under different circumstances, I would probably ask them out. I think fear of rejection does fuel it if it’s just a random woman I’ve met, but it’s not as bad as it was when I was a teenager or in my early/mid 20s.

  11. Never. You aren’t supposed to tell her. You take her out on dates and get to know each other to find out if there is something there.

    If I confessed that I “liked someone” like some grade school toddler, I imagine I’d get laughed out of the room. Rightfully so.

  12. I keep falling for women in longterm relationships with awesome people. My coworker is fine as wine, we have a ton in common but I’ve never once made any sort of move because she has a boyfriend and he’s super cool. I wanna be his best friend lol.

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