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My bf has a small penis, he’s thinking about penis enlargement, I’ve searched but now I’m really scared from him, how to make him feel comfortable with it?

I Never addressed that he has a small one, and I will not encourage him to enlarge it, I love him no matter what, but he’s concerned about ohhh positions that we will not be able to do, can please help us?

Edit: thank you guys for your help and time, I wish I can do something more than writing this and thanking you, I’m really grateful.

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50 Comments

  1. Average is 5.4 inches, porn can warp a persons mind and perception of what sex is, try asking him to do exercise such as stretching and male kengal exercises (which I think are a thing) rather than just going straight for the scalpel

  2. It’s nice that you’re supportive of him.

    All you can really do is drive the point that you love him, even his physical aspects. Beyond that, it might be better to deal with these insecurities mentally rather than getting surgery. Then again, I don’t know the procedure for penis enlargement nor the risks. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea for him after all.

    I would advise for him to watch less porn, though. Did wonders for my self esteem.

  3. Express that you’re worried that the surgery could leave him debilitated, and that the additional positions are ‘not important to me’, i.e., that you’d rather have his *fully functional* penis at it’s current size than a larger limp noodle.

  4. Most penis enlargement exercises/pumps can enlarge the penis, BUT have a high risk of causing PE and ED. So I’d ask him if he’d rather have a bigger Johnson or be able to have sex.

  5. Also, dont get mad at him if he gets turned off right in the middle of things every now and again. It’s called performance anxiety and if he starts thinking about how you might not be enjoying yourself itll make him go soft real quick. You’re a very kind person it seems like though. Good on you:)

  6. I know people have said to tell him you love him no matter what, but as a guy who was self-conscious until I stopped grading myself against porn actors, what he really needs to know is that he pleases you in the bedroom.

    The anxiety comes from the unwillingness to believe that you could be happy with what he’s giving you. That secretly, you’d much rather have a big ‘ol 9-incher. Now some women read 9-inch dick and thought ‘yes please’ and others thought ‘ouch’. He needs to know that what he’s doing is satisfying for you; when you say, “but I love you no matter what,” he hears that you love him despite his unimpressive, barely-adequate penis.

    If he’s doing it for you, tell him he’s hitting the spot with what he’s got and you just want more of that and dick size alone can’t make you feel that good. If he’s not getting you there, tell him what really gets you off and how you want him to make you orgasm; for a lot of women, they don’t get off with only-PIV activity no matter how big the dick is and that’s part of why a lot of women say they don’t care and actually mean it.

  7. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19546200/best-sex-positions-for-guys-with-small-penises/

    Those are some positions you might be interested in in case you haven’t looked already.

    Just don’t make any comments that will break his self esteem. Be experimental. See which positions work best.

    Make sure you do foreplay. I love going down.

    Also communicate. Let him know what works for you.

    Even though I’m not very big, I find it sexy when I found a position I know she likes. Especially one that we both like.

  8. Okay I’m a lady, but I feel like it’s important to note that while penis sizes vary, so do vaginas! It’s about pleasure, not measure (I should trademark that).

    There are so. Many. Things. That. Can. Be. Done. To. Achieve. Orgasms.

    The biggest turn on is confidence. If he can’t be confident with his size, then it’s probably on him to do the work and accept it sometime. Personally, I think a guy who knows he has a small penis, but makes up for it in..uh…other areas is incredibly sexy.

    Maybe just let him know there are other options that aren’t so drastic and sketchy.

  9. Sex doesn’t have to be an Olympic sport . You only need a few positions for it to be really good. I would also encourage him to become a master of oral sex

  10. Say to him

    ” but babe, you fit my mouth so perfectly, I am afraid It won’t be as good”rs

    I am 54, happily married for yrs. I have been with enough men that some I do not remember. The largest? couldn’t tell you. The smallest I will always remember. Made me cum 10 ways til Tuesday. Even PIV and he had a micro. Less than 2 inches.

  11. I’m thinking it’s similar to women with breast or other body issues. It COULD be external, though there COULD BE some internal amplification of the problem. Note this is not always the case on either side. There is a HUGE pressure for men to be manly in every way. I’m not sure women deal with this in reverse, hopefully not.

    There is a lot of online council that’s probably not too expensive. Has he considered talking to a professional, preferably a man about it? Online sounds less invasive to be. I was really shook up by some type of inferior complex and had a great outcome after just a few sessions of therapy.

  12. There are natural ways to increase the size of your penis. Have to remember it’s just cartilage and blood vessels. Blood flow is one of the most important issue for size, thickness, and hardness…yes, there are the porn stars of the world but again you can increase the size naturally through stretching the cartilage and increasing blood flow. And the “positions” that look like you need a 10″ penis, generally hurt like hell.

  13. Yeah, a couple things.

    1. He’ll mostly care only if you care. Men are feeling creatures too, and they can tell when you’re not having as much fun in bed as they think is normal. Figure out how to have more fun and he’ll probably forget all about it.
    2. If you’re having enough fun, you can say “we’re really great together and I’m worried of the side effects of that (option surgery whatever)”.
    3. Men will think you’re having fun when you’re having fun, and also when you initiate sex. Don’t tell him “I love you no matter your size”, you might as well say “the sex isn’t very good and we have to fix it”. Instead, say “I want you inside me right now, we’re not having enough sex, drop ’em buddy!”
    4. Men do get overrun by images from porn. And other men in the locker room. Everyone needs to understand that your soft size is entirely unimportant, that is, your size is important only to your partner, and your partner will primarily see you in the upright state ( or better! ).

    Personal experience. I have a very small one when it’s soft, and, I think, a reasonable size when hard. Since women simply won’t talk about it, the only way I knew was when my second girlfriend was going through a dry spell, lived far away from any metropolis, and asked me to buy a dildo and send it to her. I said “ok, but, how big?” and she said “exactly the same size you are”, and i said, “har har, you know these things are expensive, tell me what you really want because we’re broken up and you don’t have to humor me” and she got REALLY flustered because it was pretty obvious, then, that I had been under the impression I wasn’t large enough, and she had _never_ said anything nice about our sex or my body in years of being together, and she realized what that had done for my confidence. She like many women have body image issues and I spent a lot of time and energy specifically saying how much I enjoyed her and the things we did together. I did end up getting one the right size and we’re still friends. That being said, one of my partners wanted a larger size and we broke up after a few months, it takes all sorts.

  14. This is going to be a little graphic here, but

    Try to gentle encourage him to read more information on cunnilingus and how to use his fingers. If he knows he’s good and bad he’s not going to care about size.

  15. OP!

    There is a fantastic documentary called “Unhung Hero”, that documents a gent who has a micro penis, and his quest to accept himself.

    You should watch it, then, if you think your BF would benefit from it, ask him to watch it with him.

    Also maybe roll in on some of them /r/sex threads where girls chat about how its not the size that makes good sex, and show him their comments. Its all the other things that add up to some hot sheets – the passion/enthusiasm/connection/effort/fitness/attention etc.

    Lastly, porns likely fucking with his head. He should take a break from it for a while to mentally reset his self-esteem

  16. Check out some sex shops. They have these toy things that you can add on to the top of your regular penis. Some of them are about 2-3 inches long. He can easily be rocking a 6-7 incher no problem:) it may be kinda uncomfortable at first but you may get used to it. Idk I’ve never tried it but I know they exist.

  17. Self-worth is internal. You can’t pull something out of the world to give you self-worth. There is nothing you can do for him but be supportive of his feelings and empathize with your own struggle to find self-worth.

  18. The questions are, do you enjoy it, are there positions you can still experiment with and does he enjoy giving you oral and do you enjoy receiving it???

    Personally I’ve been told by multiple partners that I have a large one and there are still positions I can’t do and I’ve felt that I’m on the average side so I’ve thought about it in the past. In the end though it’s incredibly helpful if your partner enjoys it. Like one of the things i look for are visible signs during love making and not just facial expressions cus they can be faked, but quivering legs and sharp changes in the abdomen when muscles contract to help indicate the big O ☺️ prior to that it’s things like being grabbed to be pulled in while thrusting or a hand resting on my head that turns to pushing my head down further…. It ends up being a totality of signals that indicate my partner is enjoying things at the moment. Outside of that it takes communication during things and frank conversation about it to know how things are for both of you… So if you’re truly happy then let him know. That requires you to be honest with yourself so you can be honest with him. Then you can come to a decision together.

    From what you’re presenting here though it sounds like you already know how you feel. So the best thing you can do is let him know and it should help him……

  19. I don’t want to make any assumptions about you and your boyfriend’s life style, but becoming fitter together might be a good starting place. Increased exercise has incredible effects like helping with mental issues/depression, having more stamina in the bedroom, stronger and increased blood flow throughout the body (yes there as well), and sometimes (not saying your bf is in this boat) can reduce gut fat to the point that more shows without actually “enlarging” anything. The added benefit is it is something that you two can work together on that gives you opportunity to show how much are attracted to his current body without permanent surgeries.

  20. Take him out to a good book shop and buy the karma sutra and play with that, find what works best for you both and work on his self confidence.

  21. I have a question. Do you care about his penis size? Does it bother you? If your answer is NO, then it’s ok. Just tell him it never bother you at all, he doesn’t need to do that.

  22. Tell him that you can add a half inch to the length. Official measurements go down to the pubic bone, and theres on average a half inch of fat there.

    Every man is a little bit “longer” than they always thought.

  23. I’m a little late here but really the only thing you can do is reassure him that he satisfies you. You could also try to incorporate more foreplay since that is largely irrelevant to penis size

  24. If hes thinking about surgery give him the comfort that makes him think it’s unnecessary but I can say for a lot of guys parts of their confidence comes from it so if he’s sure he wants to do it he should do it.

  25. PIV is not all there is to sex.

    You can be below average and make your girl cum multiple times. Whether it’s via your fingers, tongue or even rubbing your dick on her vagina.

    Also, how are these his favorite positions if he’s never tried them?

  26. The feeling of inadequacy is something that is ultimately internal and deeply rooted and has been there since he was 11-12 years old when he first saw porn or first had to shower in gym and all the foreplay, toys, and education on pleasing woman will not take that away. Enlargement is dangerous and will also not take that feeling of inadequacy away and even worse may turn into more issues like mis-shaped look and possibly nerve damage and other issues terrible issues… honestly, this may be something that seeing a sex therapist or even an ordinary therapist to work through some of his inferiority/inadequacy issues… the fact that you are an amazing girlfriend and love him no matter what is fantastic and keep doing what you are doing, keep giving him the affirmation that he definitely is craving. 9cm is definitely small but I have a friend who is in the 9-10cm range as well and he is so fucking confident and just laughs and says it’s the motion of the ocean baby, and he gets so many girls! It really is a psychological thing at some point and that has the be where his energy is pointed at changing, not his penis.

  27. Tell him that you love his penis. NOT that he’s ‘big enough’ or ‘size doesn’t matter’. If he is considering penis enlargement he has probably got serious body image issues, and anything short of telling him that he has the perfect penis is going to fall on deaf ears.

    That said, there ARE relatively safe versions of penis enlargement. Penile traction devices and water based pumps like the Bathmate have both been scientifically verified. The pumps are not permanent if you stop using them but they can have semi-lasting results with regular use, and traction will permanently lengthen the penis.
    Those are the only ‘safe’ options that work, and only if he follows manufacturer guidelines closely. Pills do not work, penis exercises can be dangerous and aren’t proven to be effective, and surgery/injections are either VERY expensive (ex. Penuma implants) or only moderately expensive and quite dangerous. If he is considering anything other than traction and conservative pump use, he is asking for trouble.
    If he is really set on doing this, then /bigdickproblems will probably have answers to your question about sex positions.

  28. If penis enlargement really worked every guy would be walking around with at least 7 inch dicks. We dont. All those commercials play to the massive insecurities men have.

    These procedures are very dangerous and can leave your penis horrendously scarred. And that cannot be fixed. Its not worth the massive risk for little to no gain.

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