I (40s) inherited my mother (70s) a little over a decade ago when my father passed, and at the time, as a morbidly obese recovering addict, it wasn’t a big deal to be living with and taking care of my mother.
Now, as someone in shape who has his life more together, I’m finding the separation from her to be quite difficult.
We’re enmeshed in ways I’m having trouble setting boundaries for. She has very few friends besides me, expects way more of me than I can give most days, and… even during the best of times, she’s not exactly a kind/loving mother.
For what it’s worth, she’s never had many friends, never had a relationship outside of my father, and never lived with anyone but us and her parents, so she’s never, ever been alone, and I don’t know if she’s even capable of it at this point (she’s fine cognitively, but also naive, stubborn, etc)… but I also need my independence and the idea of giving me space is completely foreign to her.
As with everything in life, I doubt I’m alone in this, and figured I’d seek out advice from friends out there.
Thanks for your help.