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Men who got a date by cold approaching, how did it go ?

Men who got a date by cold approaching, how did it go ?

View Reddit by Daniel_092View Source


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  1. Twice in my life have I done this:

    Both were at parties where the point was to socialize, and we had common social contacts.

    That’s as “cold” as I get. If there’s no connection at all and no reason to talk to you aside from my attraction, I won’t.

    Most of the people I’ve dated have had shared friends or a social activity. I don’t just…talk to people I don’t know in public unless the situation is designed to foster conversation.

  2. Walked up to her at a bar to introduce myself. Took her on a date a week later. Started dating a month after that. Got married 2 years later. Been married 2 years now.

    She’s asleep next to me as I scroll through Reddit. It’s Saturday morning, our bedroom window is open, so I can see that the sun came up and hear the birds chirping.

    It went pretty well. Life is good 🙂

  3. Married her, before that, had sex with a lot of women I didn’t want to marry….a lot of women likely thought I sucked too, and some were probably uncomfortable at moments. You’ve got to accept that, know you don’t have any bad intentions and get comfortable with some rejection, learn how not to be pushy while still allowing your interest to be clear and be gracious in rejection (you’d be amazed at how many women change their mind if you accept their rejection with a smile and your head held high, unshakable confidence is very attractive).

    If you aren’t gorgeous, but want to get laid regularly, you’ve gotta be confident and entertaining, your personality has to be the attractive factor….that doesn’t usually come through online, so you’ve gotta turn strangers into “friends”, pick up on body language, have something to talk about, and truly believe you’re awesome. That only comes from practice.

  4. Trying to pickup random women in public is going to come across as creepy and desperate the vast majority of the time.

    It’s okay to talk or chat with random people going about their business in public if you happen to be “stuck” next to each other and there’s something going on that you can comment about. The second you make a point to approach a random woman going about her business in public you make things pretty unsettling. Actually approaching and then a pick up attempt? Yeah that’s a good way to get a woman to warn all her friends about you.

    Obviously, there are some pseudo-public places where it’s more normal to approach someone you’ve never seen before, like a bar or club, but those are places where people go willingly for the purpose of relaxing and socializing, places where it’s sort of culturally expected for people to try to meet you.

    At a private event or space, where you are both invited and supposed to be there, and there’s plenty of other people around, there’s really no problem. Approach away, though it’s probably best to make it look halfway like an accident (i.e. don’t make eye contract from a hundred feet way and just motor your way on over). Just don’t be a desperate tool and immediately turn yourself into pick-up mode. Just talk with her. If it goes well that’s great, but don’t force it, you’ll just end up disappointing everyone.

  5. I met the majority of my gf and my current wife through cold approach. Only my first gf ever approached me. Over the years I’ve had a lot of women hit on me, but it has usually been in work settings and I have avoided pursuing things for obvious reasons.

    Here is the thing. You are a man. Nobody tells a man what to do. A man is not ashamed of liking women, of wanting to fuck women or wanting to meet women. If you let yourself be ashamed because of society pressures, you are not a real man. You are an excuser. When you take full responsibility for your love life and stop finding excuses, you will be able to approach a strange women and strike up a conversation with her without any pretense. You tell her you are attracted to her and want to get to know her better. We all started as strangers, so finding excuses for not approaching a beautiful woman is just this – an excuse.

  6. I went on a date with a woman I “knew” on the metro during my morning commute to school.

    I intended to talk to her at some point and eventually got the chance to do so. I made a small comment about the amount of people on our carriage, said something funny and then we just started talking like we’d known eachother for ages. I got off at my stop and then asked her for her number the following morning.

    We texted a little and found out she was 38 (I was 23 at the time). She was surprised to say the least but still agreed to go out with me.
    We went out and had a great time but we didn’t see eachother again as she was still a little bit weird about our age gap and I lost interest because she had a bit of a party girl lifestyle still going.

    All in all a good experience with a nice woman and I wish her well. We still sometimes talk on the carriage if we happen to see eachother

  7. Asked her to dance at a bar; danced several songs. Later in the night got her phone number. A day or two later phoned her and set up a date; ended up dating her for about 3 months. First girlfriend. Some of the best and worst moment in my life.

  8. It went very well. I’m normally very quiet and reserved in groups, and it’s very out of character for me to put myself out there, but this one I just went up and asked, right there in the open, before I could have a chance to think myself out of it. She said yes, immediately. A few days later, we went on our date, a lunch at a coffee shop. It was pleasant enough, but the woman was miles out of my league, and I came away thinking I didn’t have a chance. I wrote it off, went back home to spend the rest of my day rebuilding a computer at home. That afternoon, she calls and asks if she could take me out that evening. She took me to a very romantic place, and we went on to have one of my favorite relationships ever. It only lasted a few months, and it’s been over twenty years ago, but it’s one of my fondest memories, and probably will be until I don’t have memories anymore. I hope that wherever she is now, she’s doing well.

  9. Just looked at your profile. You’re a good looking guy, from your other posts, I detect a lack of confidence. Start talking to as many people as socially possible. Challenging in covid times but it is what it is. At the very least a good morning to the stranger you are sharing an elevator ride with and a have a nice day when you or they are exiting. Make your own luck and opportunities. Read about the woman eating lunch, you were being polite yes but missed that opportunity and I hate the regrets that follow missed opportunities vs being told, “sorry, seeing someone, or not interested” True story: was at a bank and saw a really cute teller precovid masks, I let 5 people cut in front of me so I could go to her window. Deposited some money, had a nice chat about her day, my day thus far and was ready to leave when I said, “this was fun but I don’t want to keep you from your other customers, can I have your number so we can grab some coffee or something?” And I shut completely up and just smiled. She could have given any answer except her number and I would have been fine with that, but she grabbed a deposit slip, wrote her number and handed it over. Score! Long story short, just do it, don’t overthink it, no regrets and welcome the rejections as a progression until the next cute girl. There are A LOT of them out there and you’ll find one that appreciates and wants to be with you. Good luck!

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