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Men, if you knew back then what you know now, would you still have gotten married?

People change, things change. Are you able to adjust, and are you currently happy in your marriage? Why or why not?

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30 Comments

  1. Nope, the warning signs were there from the start, I choose to ignore them even when I was advised not to marry. I was too naive tbh

    However I am very grateful for my kids.

    I think if I had never married I would have wondered what if… At least now I know and know what to avoid.

  2. I regret absolutely nothing. Married 16 years, two great kids, and a wife who’s as wonderful now as the day I met her. Marriages take work from both parties, but if you put in the effort, it’s absolutely wonderful.

  3. No fucking way. As soon as I put that ring on her finger it was like flipping a light switch, she went from the ideal partner to being cold, cruel, controlling, and condescending. She mercifully ended it about a year in via adultery, which ironically was doing me a huge favor. I got literally zero benefits from this shit experience and no chance do I risk it again because she was PHENOMENAL right up until then.

  4. I’ve only been married for a year and a half but I’d take this over dating and random hook ups any day of the week. As long as you choose the right partner you’re life will be a lot more simple

  5. Coming from a toxic home environment, I *needed* to get married so that I could improve myself. My toxicity was so bad, I married out of strategy not love. I don’ know what being in love feels. And that strategy has worked out.

    My marriage has improved me. A lot. Despite all of our shortcomings, we have been good for each other.

  6. A resounding yes, from me. Its gone much better than I could have even perceived back then.

    We’ve been together since high school, so going on 17 years together and 10 years married. We have 3 amazing kids (so far ;)) and things have gone so much better than I could have thought.

    Funny thing is, she told me she liked me. I wasn’t attracted to her, but I knew the pain of rejection all too well. I hatched a plan. I’ll date her for a few weeks, she’ll realize that its not working out, and when I break up it won’t crush her so much. Or maybe she’d even break up with me!

    Now here I am, a little over 17 years later, a very happy and thankful man.

  7. Not to the same 2 people, lol.

    Picked 1st wife that matched how my asshole father treated me. 2nd wife unsurprisingly matched how my asshole mother treated me.

    90+ weeks of counseling and it’s so easy to filter out the shit partners now.

    I loved both of them with all my heart, pointless when they don’t have the capacity to love you back.

  8. Plenty I would do differently if given a re-do, but zero regrets. We just celebrated 20 years of marriage. We both have good jobs. We have 2 great kids (14 and 17) that keep us pretty busy with extracurriculars (plus our personal interests).
    It’s not a perfect marriage but we make it work. In the last few years, as the kids are more independent, we have been spending more time together, just the two of us. I think after years of running on auto-pilot with little free time or time together, we are starting to remember why we liked each other. I look forward to these times together. No regrets

  9. Absolutely not. I got a couple of great sons out of the deal but that’s about it. The first couple of years were fun but after that is was just a long slow spiral down hill. Should have waited a few more years and stayed true to myself.

  10. Yea. We had one really bad year and 11 really great ones. Still dealing with some hurt feelings from that one year but I regret nothing and would marry this woman again 1,000 times, 1,000 lifetimes over

  11. Absolutely. I grew up in the expectation that I would never be able to get married – civil partnerships didn’t become legal until I was 18. I met my now husband when I was 20, and we had our civil partnership when I was 25.

    Nearly 10 years later I’m incredibly happy. We’ve grown together, expanded our horizons and we’re eachothers biggest supporters. I love him more everyday.

  12. I would absolutely, and I am very happy.

    People and things do change – a lot. We worked hard at changing in roughly the same direction, and the added complexity of life has been a net positive for both of us.

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