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Married guys who told their partners they wanted to divorce: What brought you to it? In hindsight, do you think the marriage could have been saved somehow, or was it better to just move on?

Married guys who told their partners they wanted to divorce: What brought you to it? In hindsight, do you think the marriage could have been saved somehow, or was it better to just move on?

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6 Comments

  1. Her realisation that she was a lesbian didn’t seem very conducive to continuing a heterosexual relationship.

    Honestly though, even if it was something less obvious and definitive than that, I’m not sure I believe that a marriage is a thing that should be “saved”. It shouldn’t have to be fought for. It shouldn’t be hard work. I feel like if you’re trying to save it, it’s already gone past the point of no return. Maybe I’m naive, although after 17 years of marriage, I don’t think so.

  2. The woman I married was just gone. Other than her appearance, there was absolutely nothing about her that I found familiar. It was the most profound personality shift I’ve ever seen in another human being. I made the right decision in divorcing her. It would have never worked.

  3. I think irrespective of what it is, there is generally something (objectively big or small, but subjectively uncompromisably big to each) that you simply can’t agree on. Could it be saved by making a compromise? Yes. But it’s too important to each to actually do so.

  4. She was accusing towards me and refused to go to counseling with me (or by herself). I tried over and over. Finally when it was apparent that nothing was going to change, I left. I’m much better off not being there. It couldn’t be saved. I should have left years before. I’m happily remarried to an angel.

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