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If you’d been in a long-term relationship that did not work out. How do you deal with the heartache?

If you’d been in a long-term relationship that did not work out. How do you deal with the heartache?

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21 Comments

  1. Jesus. I’ve been single for a month and it’s been extremely difficult. Before I met my ex I tried to fill my voids with sex, drugs, and partying. I can tell you for certain that stuff doesn’t heal you! In the moment its GREAT! But when the excitement wears off I would still be terribly sad and angry. This time around I’m depending solely on Jesus. It’s still hurts but it’s a peace in the heartbreak that I can’t explain.

  2. I took up hobbies that I abandoned while I was with her and focused on doing things that made me happy. And when I was ready to date again, I did. And dating other women was a good reminder that sure was absolutely not the one for me and that we were better off without each other.

  3. I went through a three year very toxic relationship that I was to blind to see the unhealthy aspects of it while I was in it. Once we broke up I took the advice of a pastor that a friend had sent me a sermon of, and took a year away from dating. In that year I picked up journaling, started reading again, and strengthened my friendships and family relationships. Not going to
    lie, it sucked at first. But better to work through the pain than to try and escape it.

  4. I was engaged and in a relationship for close to 5 or 6 years. She kept belittling me and threatening to either fuck other guys or kill herself. It hurt once it was over and I can honestly say everyone is different. I went to work and school but otherwise I slept in bed and cried it out

  5. I’ve been dealing with that lately. Finally gave up and walked away from a 3.5 year relationship because after giving her plenty of time to prove otherwise she just had no drive to live like more than a broke teenager even at 26. Literally stuck in the parents basement working part time retail with no car because of lack of money. But everything else was great. She loved most of the same things including camping and hunting. Splitting canceled my plans for the bow hunt this year now. I doubt I’ll ever find anyone else who’s even close to as good a match in those ways. But since her attitudes about money and work were downright irresponsible, not improving and the polar opposite of mine it obviously had no future. Now facing just loneliness sucks.

  6. Filled up every bit of my freetime with work/school/athletics. I was only 20 so I did not know options existed outside of running yourself into the ground.

  7. Oh man it was rough. Especially the first month. It slowly got easier or maybe I just got numb to it. Mainly I’m just trying to look forward to something. I’m trying to stay active and keep my mind busy. The best solace is knowing it will get easier.

  8. Time. Sadly, heartache doesn’t have some cure-all that immediately fixes it. Or at least, not on my experience. Although yes, I did bounce around, drink and ‘connect’ with women to make myself feel better, it never lasted, nor did it help.

    For me, what helped the heartache was to think back and learn from what you feel went wrong in the relationship, and what was good. Figure out what you want from a partner, and realize that your ex isn’t that person, but they are out there, somewhere. Reflect and learn. Don’t wallow on pain for too long. You’re stronger than any heartache, it will pass, and you’ll find someone who wants you for you.

  9. Focused on me, rebuild from the inside.

    And start looking around early. I didn’t expect to be fully recovered to start, because the perfect moment never arrives because you say so.

  10. By realizing that relationships are not be-all and end-all in life.

    By realizing that the only person that can make myself truly happy is myself.

    By realizing that there are literally billions of women on Earth, and there’s so much more to discover.

    By realizing that there are literally trillions upon trillions of interesting things other than women to discover.

    Last, but not least, by accepting the temporary ache, letting it pass, but not letting it control me.

  11. Yes, at the beginning always look the end of the world, you really liked that person and you made all that plans and didn’t work. It’s part of life dude. Just take it as a learning curve. You are going to have a little better relationship time to time and longer. How many? Doesn’t matter. Better than rush it and end in something with both unhappy. Give it time. The one will appear, you just gonna think that “these is the one” a lot.
    Go out with your friends, they will try the best to help you and talk to them… Don’t go with that ‘muy matcho’ bulls**t of not talking about your problems.

  12. This may sound ridiculous but I spent over a month playing Final Fantasy 15 and drinking beer after work. The games basis on friendship with “the boys” and overarching themes about that made me start to focus more on friendships and not care as much about the relationship of 3.5 years I had just lost at the time.

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