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If you had the opportunity to have a trial marriage that lasted a couple of years instead of committing for life, would you take it? Why or why not?

If you had the opportunity to have a trial marriage that lasted a couple of years instead of committing for life, would you take it? Why or why not?

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43 Comments

  1. You do. It’s called moving in with your girlfriend.

    Seriously I find it a bit weird that people compliment myself and my wife for “being married for 13 years” but the fact is we moved in together 16 years ago so it almost feels like the 3 years for some reason doesn’t matter.

    The dynamic really doesn’t change that much after you get married from moving in together.
    (Although I should concede, she’s the only person I ‘moved in’ with so maybe I’m different)

  2. I wouldn’t want to join my finances or have children with someone unless we were both at least *intending* to see it through. It doesn’t always work even with the best intentions, but I’d at least want to start the thing off strong.

    With separate finances and kids off the table, what’s the point of marriage? That’s just cohabitation with a four-year re-up.

  3. A marriage is the legal contract that you perform when you feel you can sustain a healthy relationship throughout life. Not a test trial. Besides the tax advantage in a lower income tax bracket, I don’t see any benefit of a marriage “trial”. That’s called dating.

  4. You mean like a relationship? Marriage is just a relationship with the government and/or some church involved. I would only do it for the festitivities and tax exemptions, granted I found a person to share my life with already. I think I have by now, but we’re still doing the trial version you’d say I guess. Marriage is overrated.

  5. For everyone saying “that’s what dating is” – please do a pre-nup before you got married, and think long and hard about combining finances and assets when you do get married. Some folks think “doing a pre-nup implies from the start that you’ll one day separate and divorce” when it should be viewed as an insurance policy for both. You never know how you or the person you love are going to change in the future. Also, marriage in the US has legal and tax implications which can vary by state (for instance, some states require a separation time before divorce, others require grounds for separation) – so, no, it’s a bit more complicated than dating.

    I had a college roommate who thought marriage should be a contract that runs out and is renewable every few years. It’s difficult for me to envision that working for real, so I like to think a close second would be “if you were always required to do a pre-nup for a marriage how would you feel about that?” For that, I’m 100% on board. It would certainly make trial marriages far easier. And since people change over time, I think it would be an overall positive thing.

  6. Hum … you mean dating?

    If you plan to marry someone, even after years of dating, take a long vacation with your partner. Also make sure you live situation with that person that things went horribly wrong, and with those 2 situations you will meet what your partner is when things are not going well and when you both are dependent on each other to work things right.

    If dating is just doing no risk activities and trying your best not to infuriate the other person, then marriage will be full of surprises … and not the most pleasant ones.

  7. I don’t think you quite understand the point of marriage if you’re asking about a trial marriage. Dating is the trial. Marriage is supposed to be for life (in the traditional sense).

    Not sure if the question is out of genuine curiosity or a reflection of persobal experience but if it’s the latter, or for anyone who is reading this, try to align your values and understand eachother on a deeper level before commiting to a partner for life. So many people go into a marriage not knowing what they even signed up for.

    In theory marriage is supposed to be a trough thick and thin situation where you don’t leave the person when the going gets tough, you plant your roots together and you grow together. People find whoever the hell they fall in love with and marry them, others settle. Both are wrong. Learn to understand who you’re marrying on a deeper level before proceeding. Know their values as human beings because there will be many things they simply will not budge on and it could risk creating a very rocky situation if you can’t work trough it.

    Marriage isn’t for everyone, no matter how much your religion, parents, society tries to telm you otherwise. Think before you do.

  8. No, and fuck that shit every day and twice on Sunday. A person isn’t a thing to discard a couple years later when you get tired of them. Stick to porn.

    When I committed to my wife, I committed for life. I may have had opportunities to cheat, but I’m just not interested. I mate for life. It’s just how I am. Fortunately my wife is the same way. Not everyone else is. I’ve actually known a couple swinger couples. I could never do that, but I gotta admire the adventure of it. (No, I’ve never swung with them or wife swapped or any of that, but, I’ve heard stories.)

  9. No. I’d rather just date for a longer period of time. Marriage to me = combining money, thinking about kids, co-owning stuff… If things dont work out its messy. I see marriage as life-long commitment. Divorce does happen and I pass no judgement on it. My brother got divorced. Only dated 6months before getting engaged. I think I will wait longer, but it really depends… 6months isnt a long time to really get to know someone imo

  10. No. I’m not a Christian/Catholic/etc, but I think marriage is a forever thing, unless something really goes horribly wrong.

    The trial period is living together, dating, married life stuff without the binding contract. You don’t have to combine your finances, but if you can split your bills equally and negotiate your way through issues, that’s when you know it’s probably safe to tie the knot

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