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How to increase your confidence?

I’m a very shy person. Many times at parties or in bars I’ll be off in the corner just with my friends talking. I wouldn’t be approaching any girls or trying to make any moves. I’ve been told many times that I’m quite attractive and because of that I’ve still had girls approach me, but because of that confidence I’m never really able to do anything with it. I’ve also heard that confidence is something that girls really find attractive and I’m wondering do you guys have any tips to either be more confident or make myself portray more confident to others. Thanks

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8 Comments

  1. There’s no magic pill.

    The lack of confidence is related to some event in your past, that made you be afraid of opening yourself to others.

    You need to find a way to accept and love yourself, with all your strengths and weaknesses as you are.

    Took me, idk 40 years or so to figure it out.

    Really think about your life, come to terms with who you are, and who you want to be, and take charge of your life.

    It happens gradually, so give yourself time.

  2. Learn to not care about failure. There’s always a ratio of women who’ll say yes to women who’ll say no. For some it’s higher than other but even if it’s 1 in a 100 I’d still be trying cause you never know when it’ll be 2 for 100

  3. Confidence really comes from not giving a shit.

    Meaning, the act of failure is whatever to you. That way you are more relaxed.

    Growing up I had no male role model in my life. I was terrible as fuck with women. I had to learn by a huge amount of trial and error. I literally made it a project of mine. I spoke to men and tried making jokes. Tried to talk to new guys around me at random times. In line at stores. At the park playing basketball. Then you apply the same stuff to ugly women you do not care about.

    Then you get confidence in normal banter with those women. You learn what works, what doesn’t. Once you feel better about it, try it on average women. Takes more practice to stay relaxed. I wouldn’t try on hot girls until you are ready, because they will make you panic, because you want to fuck them, so failure is bigger. But overall eventually I got use to it. Also after so many women screwing me over, because a lot of them are really bad people. I stop caring about a relationship. So I talk to women with intent of only ever smashing. If not, then cool, later bitch.

    Take a speech class, it helps also. I have gotten so good at talking to people in person, they give me free food at drive thrus. Both males and females give me free food. I stop going to this one place for 3 months, went back last week, some of the girls ran to the window to talk to me, and remembered my name. They just missed the flirty attention I gave them. But I know I could easily ask one of them out if I wanted too.

    The crazy thing is, if we were standing next to each other, I know you would be more attractive than me. I ain’t ugly, but I got a few pounds. But my male friends get mad when I take women from them. I seem happier, more smooth, smarter, flirtier, and honestly dont give a fuck which women like. When women say “communication is important”, what they really mean is, can he make me interested when he speaks.

  4. You need to worry about being less shy. Find a shyness / social anxiety support group (because shyness is usually lumped together with social anxiety as they have similar xhatacteristics). Tjese support groups will ultimately help you to be more confident approaching and talking to women.

  5. I used to have bad anxiety all through high school. Honestly joining an mma gym was the best thing that I ever did. One thing it did was it drastically improved my posture, which I believe is a big part of appearing confident. It even cured me of my body dysmorphia. There is something primal about it. You develop this awesome mind body connection and have to accept your weaknesses and capitalize on your strengths. It’s impossible not to carry that into your social life. Plus it can put you into situations where you can be around, talk to, and train with members of the opposite sex in a completely platonic manner without feeling like it has to be something more. You get to just be a human being with other human beings. Once you don’t care anymore, and can walk in a room and simply exist in the moment instead of trapped inside your own mind, you are pretty much there.

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