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How to become approachable?

Hey!
I’m a 24 years old girl, i never been in a relationship nor have been approached by guys before.
All my life i have been so serious about my studies and my future i never really thought about going out.
But now, I’m almost finished with university and i notice that most of my friends are in relationships and I’m always alone.
I just want some advice on why i never have been approached even though I’m outgoing and have a great ( and dark ) Sense of humor.

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23 Comments

  1. Not really an expert by any measures here, but as a guy, there’s a lot of pressure to ask a girl out and walk up to talk to her. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being the one to start up a convo with a guy. If anything, it just shows confidence (which in moderation can be sexy).

    Also, you could ask friends to set up a double date. That’s always an option…

  2. Well, I approach women that I’m interested in but only if they show some degree of interest beforehand. Gotta atleast make eye contact and smile or something. Only weirdos are going to just randomly walk up to any girl that they think is attractive out of the blue.

  3. I’ll tell you what, a little bit of initiation from the girl can go a long way. A lot of guys, myself included, just need a little bit of a green light from you to start hitting on you. There’s so much “men are disgusting and so creepy” talk from women in that age range these days that I think a lot of guys have given up on approaching women they’d like to date.

  4. Instead of trying to be approachable, trying doing the approaching.

    You’ve probably heard that the best way to learn is to study the subject like your going to need to teach it. The same idea applies to being approachable. To be approachable, *act* like you’ll have to be the one going to have to initiate everything, purse the guy, and make the first move.

  5. In order to be approached you generally have to give off an upbeat vibe, smile, look like your happy. And also be attractive, a healthy weight, aesthetically appealing clothes, good complexion. And if your less attractive than those around you it means more than likely your going to be better served by activly seeking out guys. Something like only 2% of women will make the first move so by making the first move you put yourself in what is likely to be the top 2% most likely women to get a date

  6. Hard to tell for m your post why you aren’t being approached but here are a few ideas:

    1) You claim to be shy, that can often come off as aloof or snobbish to other people. A dark sense of humour, especially if it includes sarcasm, can contribute to this image as well. So can keeping busy in your phone or books all the time.

    2) As you are shy try to imagine what it’s like for some who is shy to approach another person that seems occupied and aloof (that’s what boys have to go through to approach you).

    3) Ever heard of the expression “cold calling”? It refers to sales people having to call people who have not shown any interest in their product. It’s hellish as you are almost assured to fail 19 out of 20 times. Rejection after rejection after rejection…approaching a girl who shows no interest in you is like cold calling as you have no opening or invitation to do so and it’s usually not welcome these days.

    4) Try dropping hints and openings, don’t be to subtle with guys you are interested in.

    5) Giving a guy you like a bit of attention, help or a caring ear to listen will go a long way.

    6) Be open and put yourself out there. Hang out with people so you can get to know them and they can get to know you.

    7) Ask your friends why they think you aren’t getting approached…they probably know.

  7. None of us are going to be able to diagnose your problem over Reddit. Attraction and approaching will rely on how you look and act, which we can’t see.

    Do you have any friends who could give you pointers?

    Also, observe how other women act when they’re out socially and attracting interest. Where are they looking? Do they smile? What are they doing with their body/hands/face the whole time. What are they saying and how are they responding to the guy?

    Guys are expected to approach women, but if you’re not even glancing in their direction they’re hardly going to consider you a good prospect.

  8. I know it’s a cliche, but we really do love it when you laugh at our dumb jokes. It somehow makes me feel connected to someone. Also it’s a good litmus test as to how good natured they are.

    Last note: If you make a joke and *he* doesn’t laugh, hit the door!

  9. took me years to learn this one: at a bar/club/social gathering if you catch the girl looking at you, you both maintain eye contact, she smiles at you (and then prolly looks away) shes interested. Rinse and repeat if the dude was like me and just didnt pick up on the signal

  10. Don’t rush into a relationship just cus all your friends are doing it . Don’t have mindset that girls can’t approach guys . Approach a guy you like don’t make that mistake of not approaching him . To be more approachable you should not look like you are rushing somewhere , make sure you don’t have a resting botch face , don’t ware clothes that are revealing as most guys might be afraid to come up to a girl that has a crop top than a girl who has a t- shirt

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