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How long are you willing to wait to have ohhh with a lady you really like?

If she says she wants to take things slow and wait a while. Everything else is great! Great conversation, flirting, smart, funny, etc.

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32 Comments

  1. I am willing to wait as long as she needs to, as long as it’s fairly reasonable. Your “reasonable” may be different from mine and it’s fine.

    Mine is about 2/3 months at most.

  2. For the right person, I’d 100% be willing to wait for as long as it takes until she’s comfortable.

    However, it’s worth noting that sexual compatibility is a big deal to me, so I’d always prefer to get that out of the way earlier, rather than later.

  3. I find it pretty emotionally torturous to date without physical intimacy, so I only give it about a month to get going or give up. Maybe a touch longer if she wants to ease around the proverbial “bases”, starting early and slowly leading up to going all the way.

    We can be just friends if she needs more time to get to know me.

  4. In my experience, taking it “slow” ends up meaning a couple weeks and that’s just about right for me. Much longer, and I’d say our approach to sex isn’t compatible.

  5. No one can tell you how long to wait. Every one of us who has an interest has and will wait until the point where they either do or don’t sleep with this lady.

    Could be days, months, years. It’s up to you when the waiting is no longer bearable. If you hit that point, be kind to yourself and politely break things off because at that point you aren’t even in a position to be her friend.

    It’s always better to end on good terms than shitty terms.

  6. My wife and I were both virgins when we married at the age of 21. We dated for 3 years before we married. I bet waiting is a lot easier if you’ve never done it before.

  7. My correct answer is until we are ready

    My realistic answer is, I don’t have a time frame but if the sexual tension isn’t there after a few real dates/activities it’s time to assess where your time is going.

  8. There is no time limit. The issue only comes up if shes not actively trying to get closer to me in that department.

    You can still do a lot of sexual things without having straight sex. Like making out. Or being topless and making out, etc.

    Or other just intimacy things like cuddling. Or cuddling semi naked. Etc.

    No sex? No problem. Just.. some forward momentum has to be there.

  9. First off, I don’t have sex with someone I don’t really like. I don’t do hook-ups.

    It would depend on the vibes I’m getting from her, and it would be a case-by-case basis. I tend to prefer waiting several dates myself anyway, because once I have sex, I tend to get attached much more easily. I have a lot to offer (loyalty, generosity, stability, intelligence, kindness, and more), and I’d like to make sure it’s a person appropriate for putting my affections into first.

    But sex and sexual compatibility in a relationship are important to me. I can find great conversation, flirting, smart, funny, etc., a lot easier than I can find sexual compatibility. By the third date, I will broach the subject of how she feels about the importance of sex in a relationship, in particular to see how she responds to it. If she’s skittish about it, or is overly uncomfortable with talking about sex, it’s a red flag for me. If we can’t talk openly and honestly about our expectations in a relationship, including sex, it’s a red flag for me. Similarly, if the physical intimacy isn’t making forward progress during that time, and there’s no clear sign that she’s actually physically attracted to me, I’m going to move on. I’m not going to commit to a longterm relationship with someone that doesn’t have healthy views on sexuality, and also doesn’t show a healthy physical attraction for me.

    TL;DR: My ideal woman wants sex with me. She has a lot of other features, too, but that one has to be there. I’ve been in a dead bedroom before, and I have no intention of tolerating one again.

  10. If I think she’s trying to see how long she can “get away” with putting it off, that’s a huge turn off.

    >Everything else is great! Great conversation, flirting, smart, funny, etc.

    Then why does she want to put things off for as long as possible? If everything is going great, that should make her want me more, not less.

    [This poem comes to mind whenever women go down this line of thinking.](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44688/to-his-coy-mistress)

  11. Under normal circumstances things should be getting sexual within the first few weeks. If nothing happens by the 1 month point then I’d be assuming that she’s not actually interested in me

  12. This is usually a test. You would be stupid not to wait as long as she needs. Great conversation, flirting, smart, funny, etc. isn’t easy to find. You want to throw all of that away because you can’t go a little while without getting laid?

  13. I’d be willing to wait two dates. I want my girl to be physically attracted to me. If she needs to “get to know me better first” then she can become my pen pal. She can email me any question she has and I’ll answer them truthfully.

    This is assuming she has had sex before.

  14. After the first breakfast, lunch, dinner, beer/wine, fast food joint or coffee is fair.

    Now if a woman says to you “a while” then she’s not interested in you physically upfront and is trying to find ways to get attracted to you in others forms. Unless she’s practicing some super cult religion with extra tight beliefs or is a nun then there’s no need for a woman to not want to be physical with a guy sexually by the end of their hangout/date.

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