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How does an adult who grew up spoiled and without consequences change themselves when their brain is wired by how they were raised?

How does an adult who grew up spoiled and without consequences change themselves when their brain is wired by how they were raised?

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18 Comments

  1. People have said “experiencing hardship” but that’s very unlikely to happen.

    But experiencing it by proxy might work, volunteer at a soup kitchen, volunteer to help the elderly get a job at a charity helping homeless folk? Get some experience of people who live on the other side of the fence, you can’t help the way you were raised but you can change who you are now.

  2. By putting them in a lifestyle where only one who can help them is themselves. For example, someone always cooked for them, never paid taxes, just have them live on their own, where all the needs would depend on them alone.

  3. Hard work.

    Take one like that, throw him or her into a situation where their status does not matter and only work provides food & shelter and their brain wiring is going to change.

  4. It’s difficult to answer without knowing what specifics your wanting to change. Establish realistic goals, hold yourself accountable to them and if they don’t go as planned, reflect adapt and overcome. The biggest risks of growing up this way is firstly a sense of entitlement that wont often play out well. Second risk is that once you expeirence true hardship, it might end up ruining you.

    Try to work out what specific traits you either feel are undesirable or you just want to work on, plan how your going to do it and note what success in each area actually looks like such as “what would be different, how would I know there has been a change and what will I do if I find myself reverting to my defaults”.

  5. Not sure you actually can. There is no way to fake not having a safety net. You can never know what it is truly like to go without and not having anyone to bail you out… and I mean not even in the very back of your mind if you purposely decide to not use that safety net. On the flip side of that, people without that cannot know what it is to have one either.

    No judgment and I respect you asking the question.

  6. I wouldn’t assume that they would change. Look at the Karen memes, there are plenty of adults who remain entitled counts their entire lives. Normal people just try to limit contact with them

  7. Maturity, sobriety, and kids. I never had a job till I was 25 and it took 6 years to get thru college. Grew up in 1 percent and had everything I wanted. I quit drinking and partying at 24 and everything started changing. I finished college, got a job, got married, and had my first kid within 2 years of being sober. It was hard but I have 17 years this year, 4 kids, and a successful construction company I did it on my own. It can be done

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