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How do you wish to be accepted and appreciated?

Girl here. I realised recently that while many of my counterparts are primarily concerned about dismantling the patriarchy, no one cares enough about the men who do care about women. The men who love women are often forgotten or lumped together with the men like Trump and assumed that all are the same. I want to honestly find out about what are some of the struggles that men have to go through to be accepted and appreciated. I want to understand you all better.

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13 Comments

  1. Stop saying “men are all the same”. We are not. We are as diverse as marine life.

    There will be lot of people, including women, who will demand of us to “man up”. We often don’t get a chance to be vulnerable, weak, in pain. Broken man is often perceived as a broken plate -> throw it in the garbage.

    And last, but not least, listen. Don’t assume. We are more than just inventory for labeled boxes. I couldn’t give a damn about sports memorabillia, but I do like a good book on aviation. 🙂

  2. I want people to treat me like I treat them. I am nice and kind, but it is so sad that nobody sees that. I’m so used to people always leaving me. I am so misunderstood. So, I’m just here with my broken pieces on the ground. Only God knows everything that is going through my mind.

  3. We know that man-haters are a very vocal and loud minority, and that most of you love your brothers, husbands, fathers and sons, and respect your male friends and colleagues. If you want to find out about our struggles like having laws and family courts weighted against us, r/mensrights is a good place to start. In the meantime, keep repeating ‘not all men’ because in fact, it is very few men. Women are the #1 killers of their own children, so any person can be a bad person.

  4. Honestly I would just like to quantify my own experiences of being sexually harassed and assaulted without having to quantify that women do indeed get hurt more by these things often. Even though that’s irrelevant, if I’m trying to talk about my abuse in any social manner I always make the delineation that women get hurt more so that statistic isn’t brought up when I’m trying to talk.

    It’s gross.

  5. >many of my counterparts are primarily concerned about dismantling the patriarchy

    I would ideally be appreciated by… being appreciated. I don’t need anyone to emasculate me, or demand my subservience. Imo that’s toxic feminism, and it’s an unhealthy trend. Feminism did not start out that way, from what I can tell.

    What I do need is love, acceptance and boundaries. Boundaries can be defined without anyone being oppressed. Being appreciated for who I am is what it’s all about. Obviously everyone’s going to disagree at points, but there’s got to be like an 80/20 at least of acceptance over struggle.

    So whether it’s the outfit I picked for a date, my perspectives on life, or the whole grain pancakes I make for my lady that are a little too dense, the way to make me feel appreciated is to *express appreciation over who I am and what I do*. Which ought to happen spontaneously and naturally if a woman allows herself to truly love me.

  6. I’d like to be told I’ve done enough or that I’m good enough, but that’s not going to happen so I’ll just keep trying to earn one or the other.

  7. My goal in life is to be hardworking, loyal, loving and a man that looks after and provides for his family. I’m told now, that makes me a toxic male! When did those values become a bad thing!

  8. I don’t care about being accepted, approved, appreciated as long as they don’t bother me. If they bother me, then they should be stopped & punished. They pretend their approval is supposed to be important to me. Why would that happen? I clearly ignore it. Worthless.

  9. I would be happy if I was ever asked questions about me.

    I don’t even get a “how is your day” from my coworkers but follow up with them about everything going on with them.

    I just want to not feel like an invisible burden.

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