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How do you stop yourself from falling for every girl that’s remotely attractive and nice to you?

How do you stop yourself from falling for every girl that’s remotely attractive and nice to you?

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50 Comments

  1. learning to identify the difference between love and infatuation.

    they try and talk about it in sex ed in school but it really doesnt make much difference hearing it until you experience real love.

    one thing thats very different between the two, is that love is something you build mutually with someone over a period of time, typically over a pretty long period of time.

  2. There’s so many of them. I can’t “fall for” every pretty girl who wants to talk to me, there’s gotta be more to it than that. The reality is that most of them are just looking for friends anyhow, and that’s fine. Plus, once you really get to know people you realize there’s a lot more to meaningful attraction than just physical interest. I find lots of people attractive, I find far fewer people interesting. I’ll save my efforts for the folks who check the most boxes.

  3. Girl here – i believe one you start accepting yourself and respecting yourself you’ll not “settle” for this. You’ll have higher standards for a romantic partner. This is true for all of us.

  4. That’s not a problem itself. You can have feelings for whoever and you don’t have control over it.

    The problem is where you don’t think objectively if she’s worth for other than her looks.

    And another problem is being too slow. Don’t waste time. Tell whoever she is that you like her. Invite her on a date. That way you make everything clear.

    It’s waaaay better to get rejected on the spot rather than acting like her gay friend for months and then being rejected after wasting that much time.

    And a date doesn’t mean you’ll start going out. Is actually for qualifying her (and viseversa) to see if it’s worth the effort or not.

  5. Usually people just learn not to do such a thing after being hurt few times. Even if a Given woman seems at a time like your only chance of not ending up alone, it is still not Worth it to Enter a relationship that you would be miserable in. Just chill, start accepting yourself.

  6. I’m a romantic as well.

    Rules work for me. I force myself to use my head as well as my heart. That butterfly/infatuation stage will make you dismiss red flags or rationalize them. Write down things you’re uncomfortable with. Have a (realistic) list of needs in a partner, and nice to haves. Make sure they at least have the needs, and don’t dismiss then missing one of those by rationalizing why “it’s not that important really anyway.”

    Friends help. Online, offline, people to bounce ideas off of.

  7. That’s your hormones talking. You will realize as you get older, you’ll start listening to your conscience more. Taking time to learn about someone’s personality and if you want to spend time with that person.
    People at times can take up to two years to reveal who they really are.
    If it’s sex you’re after, remember that is only a small part of being with someone, especially if you love them and, they love you back.
    Honesty, loyalty, compassion, empathy, emotional intelligence and generally level headed.
    That’s what you’re looking for.
    Sex is short term, play, orgasm and then you have to be able to actually hold a conversation. Similar interests but have your own. Let them have theirs.
    Best of luck riding the horse of hormones. Eventually, you’ll be able to handle them.

  8. the unseen and unacknowledged void in your life is trying to find balance. find a healthy way to fill this need and you will be able to judge romantic encounters more truthfully. ignore the problem and you will very likely end up in a drama filled rollercoaster with an incredibly toxic person.

  9. Your statement makes it sound to me as though you’re young. I’m not trying to insult you if you’re not. Let me break a few things down for you.

    There is a huge difference between infatuation and falling in love. You will most likely find that you’re infatuated with every woman who is remotely attractive and treats you nice. That is probably what your experiencing.

    Love though, love is that thing that happens when you find your self at a loss for not being in a person’s company who also enjoys your company… Loves a two-way street and not one sided

  10. If I ask you what your favorite movie is but you’ve only ever seen a couple movies, how reliable is your answer? Sounds like you need some more experience under your belt, its an important part in figuring out what YOU want.

  11. I realized early that most are just nice out of their personality, or just for show and dont give a shit about you. I became an asshole who ignored nicety, and easily began to figure out who actually meant it.

    Once you find the girl or guy who can deal with your moral worst, someone you dont JUST find attractive but also interesting in a meaningful way, become the nicest fucker to them and put a ring on it.

    I did.

  12. In my early 20s. I(41M) kept seeing every attractive and nice women as potential partners. I’d worry to much about how I should be for them to want to be with me. This anxiety either put me off to persueing anyone, made me a nervous wreck, and/or act like someone I was not.

    I got help for those thoughts and feelings. Then I could focus more on myself and not try and fill a void with a relationship or feel I should “get married” because that is just what you are supposed to do.

    This was me. There is no one size fits all answer. YMMV.

  13. Its really hard when you are starving for affection but you need to learn to ask yourself if you are judging people for what they are, or for what you wish they were, if you objectively know that she is being nice, the reality is that that’s only showing that she is a nice person, that may or may not lead to something, but for the time being is nothing more

  14. Things I value in a prospective romantic relationship:

    /#1 – She’s interested in me.

    *daylight*

    /#2 – Everything else that attracts me to a person.

    Ultimately, it’s not worth wrapping yourself up in feelings for people who don’t like you like that.

    Liking me is the qualifying factor for me becoming interested.

  15. I think u should stop idealizing other people & start to respect what your own values, interests, & sense of humor are. Find people who are similar to you. & if you don’t know who you are, start exploring that more.

    Either that or get into a relationship. Lol. That’ll stop u from falling in love with everybody.

  16. Take a step back and think about it. Also, have you ever heard of post nut clarity? Some comedian once jokingly said bust that nut and if you still want to talk to her you know it’s real

  17. First realize it’s just a crush and your brain is sending signals to your body making you feel the desire to mate and nest with said female. Next, try to pin point some things about her you dont like. For example, my ex had severe ADHD which made her incredibly forgetful, her hyperactive bouts were annoying and she was rather clumsy. Now ADHD is an instant turn off for me. Maybe this is a bad example but it’s my experience with such things.

  18. Tbh I just assume all interactions are nonromantic and them being nice is just that. Think it’s saved me alot of cringe. I’d rather assume a girl is being nice and friendly because she’s just that over hoping/vying for something more. I might be wrong but if she’s really interested in me or want something more I’m pretty sure I’ll get the hint like the 20th time…

  19. Honestly? Don’t act on your impulse, that’s what works for me, refraining from saying the thing that I know is blatantly flirty or crosses the line, tell yourself “no” basically

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