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How do you guys deal with self hatred?

For men who struggle with this, how have you learned to deal with it or overcome it?


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  1. +1 for therapy

    The main thing it helped me out with, was reframing in my head how I perceived myself, and realized how useless it was to hate myself.

    But, I needed a trusted outside party to help me come to that realization. Mostly because my brain at the time did a great job of keeping me at odds with myself, instead of being on the same team with me. Of course if you ask any rational, level headed person what the value is towards self-hatred, they’ll say there isn’t any. Which is absolutely true.

    Unfortunately when you have a lack of mental health awareness, coupled by a mindset that I always need to solve my own problems (and even worse, that asking others for help and support is considered a weakness, or “failure”) then I was very ill-equipped to fight my own demons. So until I learned the proper tools from therapy, I was in this constant cycle of hating myself, hating the fact that I hated myself, but not strong enough to break this cycle.

    So it for sure was a process to learn to let go on all the rage and hate inside me, learn to love myself and then over time, change my outlook on life and others in a more positive light, now that I wasn’t harboring all of this hate and animosity inside me

  2. I don’t really deal with it so much as I let it consume me to the point where I don’t feel anything at all for a long time. Then it comes to the surface and I repeat the process. Unhealthy but it’s my way of dealing/not dealing with it.

  3. This is going to sound odd but I think I just got too tired to feel that passionately about it anymore.

    It’s **exhausting**. It’s consuming. Eventually I just… gave up? It takes energy to hate yourself. You have to kind of invest in it. I settled for a bizarre form of self acceptance, which turned into real acceptance. When you stop putting that effort in and just go for a general ‘eh… good enough’ things turn around fast.

  4. time and hobby’s therapy never helped for me it was always the same story but it never really got better. hobby’s and years passing and just being myself was the best way to start loving myself.

  5. I like how literally no one here said that they are fixing things that they hate about themselves.

    There is a reason why self-hatred exists. It means that you should change something about yourself. It serves as a way to push you forward.

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