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How do you get taken seriously when you look younger?

I’ll be turning 30 this year and most people don’t really ever give me respect or take me seriously and it kisss.

Despite my confidence I don’t really stick out in a crowd. I’m on the shorter side for a guy at 5’8 and don’t look anywhere near my actual age. It’s honestly pretty hard to to get taken seriously with how young I look and I feel like women feel the same when I approach. Everyone says I look like I’m in high school. Even this new guy at work who saw me for the first guy called me “youngin” because he didn’t know my name yet…

So imagine trying to approach a woman you’re interested in at 30 and their first impression of me is I look like I’m in high school 😞

– Yes I weight lift and hit the gym
– Yes I’ve tried growing a beard and can’t

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29 Comments

  1. As a cop I had to deal with that issue a ton. But all I needed was way more confidence in myself.

    Look people in the eyes, sit and stand straight, don‘t have a cracking voice, talk in a serious tone,… the list goes on.

    It‘s mostly not outer appearance, it‘s the way you interact

  2. You stare at someone who doesn’t take you seriously. No emotions. Most people will get immediately uncomfortable. Next interaction you’ll have with them will run much more smoothly.

  3. It all comes down to your behavior, mannerisms, character, attitude, how you carry yourself, etc.

    I’m 25, shorter than you are and I’m often told I look 18 or so yet because I’m generally very serious, quiet, not clowning around, but still polite, honest, and so on in certain environments like the workplace, I’ve never really had a problem with not getting respect or being taken seriously.

  4. How you carry yourself makes a huge difference. Theres all kinds of guys with undesirable physical features who are still successful with women. Because they like themselves and people can tell. So my suggestion would be to live in a way that raises your self respect. Whatever that means to you.

  5. Become the leader of something, become the expert of something. Do something on a regular basis, and become dependable on that activity. Become a wealth of knowledge on a topic, attract and grow a community on that topic.

    It’s hard to answer, but tackling superficial stuff like a beard or muscles (unless you’re gunning for the lifestyle), won’t get you very far. Once you can demonstrate value and show yourself to be dependable, you’re one step closer to opinions that matter.

  6. I agree with others- presentation and mannerisms make or break it for the most part. Speak confidently, look them in the eyes, stand up straight with your shoulders back. Note that this doesn’t mean disrespectful.

    If you want to change something physically to try to help, grow a beard

  7. I have a thing for a shorter guy and he commands respect by not backing down and being willing to hold his own. In terms of women, you are taller than quite a few women and maybe talking about things you’re interested in will help connect and show your age and maturity

  8. Grow a shitty goatee. I’m 27 and I’ve still got a baby face and when I don’t have my goatee… In fact all the men on my father side look younger than they are. Dads 66 and could easily pass for a man in his 40’s. Grandpa is going on 80 (yes he had my dad super young lmao.) and grandpa doesn’t look much older than someone in his 50-60’s. I’ve seen people younger than them who just look like withered old men.

    I look like a teenager half the time. It’s both nice and sad when you get ID’d at the bar when I shave for whatever reason lmao. Least with my goatee I look closer to my actual age.

  9. I’m smaller than you and I looked young straight out of college. I managed to garner professional respect through a couple moves. I acknowledge that some of these might be considered ‘sacrificing’ things about yourself that you like for at least some of your day, particularly at work:

    – Evaluate your clothing choices. Some men ‘dress young’. Yes, I acknowledge that this is ageist. Do you wear clothes that fit well? Do you wear any of the same things that younger people wear? I’m not suggesting you go in Dad mode, but muting some things in regards to clothing can make your interactions more about what you’ve said than what you appear to be.

    – Do you make direct eye contact and take helm of conversations, making your point known? Or are you more passive and you wait for others? This is a work issue for a lot of people.

    – Is your haircut something that most 30 year olds would wear? This was my first move, because someone said, “Gosh, are you really going to be starting at _____ this month? You seem too young to be doing that, even though I know you’re not.” Next time I saw them, they remarked that I looked older.

    – If friends and acquaintances mention how young you look, be direct. Let them know it irritates you and that you’re operating on the same levels.

  10. I used to struggle with this. I’m 5’6″, naturally skinny, and have a baby face. A couple years ago, I grew my facial hair out (luckily I have decent beard genes), got more serious in the gym, and upped my style game. I noticed an immediate change of the way people addressed me on first glance.

    I also worked on my confidence and emotional maturity. I used to get upset when people would make jokes about my height. Now I play along with it and I’ve learned to not let it bother me. I’ll be the first to make self-depreciating jokes about myself and I’ve learned it got people to look past my height.

  11. Talk slowly, and calmly.

    If it’s some sort of negotiation, or sale, ask them what’s important to get out of it, and repeat the things back to them that you can get out of them.

  12. U can grow a beard. Use rogaine. The results tend to be permanent on facial hair. Not so much for head hair.

    Also, people that can’t grow beards, usually have full heads of hair. Losing your hair ages u 10-15 years. Be glad you look younger at 30 and not older

  13. The beard thing is tough. I can’t grow a forest either but it’s enough to justify not shaving it off. And it does help. Without it, I would look 17. Most people assume I’m 21-22ish when I’m actually 26.

  14. At work, the only consistent answer I’ve found is to be the guy with the answer to the problem at hand. Sometimes you can’t change the first impression you give off, but if you demonstrate competence and reliability, most people will come to respect your input. And new people you meet will give you the benefit of the doubt if other people vouch for you regardless of your appearance.

    Outside of work, I haven’t a clue. It’s very difficult to overcome appearances there.

  15. How you dress matters a lot. Men, especially younger men, tend to wear clothes that are 1 size too big for them. This makes things like collared shirts and jackets look baggy, and gives off the impression that you had to grab it from your dad’s closet. Learn how to buy clothes that fit, and maybe dress one notch higher than you think you need to, like wearing a jacket to a business casual office. You don’t need a beard, but buzz cuts tend to make people look younger. Have at least some length to your hair. It will also make you look a little taller.

    If the height is a concern, you can get boots with a 1 to 1.5 inch heel to add some height without wearing platform shoes. However this is probably not necessary, since 5’8″ is right around average for a man in the USA.

  16. You need to brush up on your game. There’s whole forums and boot camps that teach you how to pickup women. It’s amazing how easy it is once you learn what the strategies are. You should check it out.

  17. What is your expectation with women? If you want to be taken seriously, be a person with demonstrable integrity and be prepared to bring something of value to a relationship.

    Frankly, if you feel you aren’t taken seriously because you look young, that’s on you and has nothing to do with her.

    More likely, she has picked up on your insecurity and your overcompensations.

    I routinely date men around ten years my junior, and I know many other women who do as well. It’s not your appearance of being young.

    Take the time to get to know women and build a friendship, so that going out is a natural next step for you both,rather than proving some virtue of man-ness that is probably a trifling thing to her.

    We all know that insecure men will take it out on us, their relationship partners, when they feel inadequate. That’s enough reason to blow you off.

  18. Just give them a blank stone cold state. The guy version of resting bitch face I guess.

    As for the interaction with women, you’ll probably be ignored by a decent number since you’re “under the limit”.

    But fuck those people.

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