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How do you approach a sensitive subject such as substance abuse with another guy?

Thread title. Will post my story in separate comment. For anyone able to suggest something for my particular issue.

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9 Comments

  1. My approach with my homie was pretty straightforward. Invited him for a few shots of good liquor.. second shot started the conversation. Also locked the door to the room we were in. Either we talked or fought. Those were his choices at leaving. He got help.. fucked up a few times but he cleaned up his shit.

  2. My specific story:

    I (27M) am having concerns about my dad (57M)… He’s had problems with cannabis in the past, as well as harder drugs such as cocaine.
    He quit smoking, drugs and gave up all but social drinking for about a year, until ~Christmas 2020. I work with him, and had noticed each day when I picked him up in the morning, he stank of weed, and he had also started smoking cigarettes again.

    Today, I went to his house briefly to swap Easter eggs. My girlfriend waited in the car.
    I could smell weed whilst walking down his driveway, and the smell of the house made me feel sick. When I got back in the car, my girlfriend commented on how I smelt like weed… Then this evening, when we went to eat some of the chocolate, we couldn’t stomach it due to the fact it not only smelt like weed, but tasted funny.

    Tbh the entire situation lowkey terrifies me that he is going to melt his brain with this shit, and I’ll be attending his funeral before he gets the chance to attend my wedding.

  3. On a weekend trip, a friend of mine worked himself up to tell me about a problem he was having. Turns out I was having the same problem and was trying to work up my nerve to tell him. It was so good to just come out with out. Just tell your friend.

  4. Your worries are warranted given your dad’s history. Unless he’s someone who is unreceptive to your feedback, talk to him and figure out what’s behind the behavior. More than likely, something is stressing him out that he either isn’t aware of or doesn’t want to talk about with the family.

    There’s not much else you can do other than arm yourself with the right information before you talk to him. Yes, smoking causes lung cancer. And yes, smoking marijuana is more likely to cause lung cancer because of how long you hold in the smoke. But marijuana has its medicinal benefits too as pain relief and potentially to slow down the mechanisms of Alzheimer’s. I recommend you find reliable information from health institutes and not catastrophize the effects, so he knows you’re acting out of concern with his history and not out of a strong personal bias about weed.

  5. I have a friend who was a drug addict, I simply asked him “Why do you use so many drugs all the time?” And the convo started. I think going straight forward is always the best thing to do.

  6. Just tell them what you see, and phrase it as you looking out for them.

    A good example of what I mean was in the movie “Ray,” with Jamie Foxx playing Ray Charles. Instead of directly critiquing, the guys warned him that the drugs were starting to show. “Hey man, you’re itching a lot.”

    Most men have an ego, and it will bother them if they’re obviously showing weakness to others. It’s embarrassing. Try to let their ego do the fighting.

    Many users try to only hang out with other users to avoid these problems. But if you’re still a clean friend, he isn’t completely sucked in yet.

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