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How do I stop pushing girls away?

I feel like a lot of girls like me and I like them but I always push them away. Either subtly over time or aggressively and I pick a fight or something stupid and we stop talking.

Why am I doing this to myself?

View Reddit by justmeyesme2021View Source


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  1. No one can really answer why you keep doing this to yourself, only you can answer that.

    But it sounds like you’ve identified your problem, which is a very big step to rectifying it and improving yourself. Good job, and I mean that sincerely, lots of people struggle to identify their own flaws.

  2. It’s a subconscious thing most likely. Very often when we are afraid of something we actually bring it into existence. For example, you may be terrified of pushing others away or having them reject you, so you tend to visualize bad outcomes. However, this feeds into your subconscious and it gives it the command that you actually want those things to happen.

    So you have to realize that subconsciously you WANT the bad outcome. The solution is to consciously let go of wanting this outcome.

  3. I would suspect that you want to “make” them break up with you before you really get attached and feel vulnerable.

    Maybe next time if you take things very slowly and let it build. That way, you can know if she has true feelings for you before you open up.

  4. I was the same way. I was from a broken home and always told i was a loser. So when women especially educated women from intact families wanted to date me I’d push them away.

    I felt afraid that they’d find out that I am who i was told I am and I’d only complicate their lives

    It all comes down to insecurity.

    My suggestion is to jump in. Ride the spiral. Your life might change for the better if you let them in.

  5. You might just be that type of person. Just be genuine dude. Unless you are outright an asshole you should eventually fine a girl with thicker skin willing to stand her ground more

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