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How do I learn to love myself? When I have many insecurities and anxiety?

How do I learn to love myself? When I have many insecurities and anxiety?

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16 Comments

  1. Liking yourself and loving yourself are two different things. The latter starts when you realize that there’s only one of you, and it’s the one you are right now; you are, in essence, stuck with yourself, so wishing you were someone else entirely is not productive. Loving yourself – that is, caring for yourself – is then the first step to becoming someone you would also actually like, because you start to see yourself as someone worth working on.

    At least, that’s how it was for me.

  2. Acknowledge and accept that there are things you cannot change.

    From there realize that nothing anyone says or does affects you. So f what anyone thinks or says about you. They arent in your body, and speaking of which, insecurities are caused by us, its all in our heads. Once you realize you’re doing it to your self you will see the world differently.

    Be your friend and love yourself.

    Good luck.

  3. Here’s a practical exercise that helped me. Every few days, or even every day, do one of the following prompts:

    * What are 3 things I’ve done well lately?
    * What are 3 things I’m grateful for
    * What are 3 things I have to look forward to?

    I think especially #1 is a way to analyze yourself and build confidence. It forced me to acknowledge that I do have strengths, and do score victories in day to day life.

  4. Go outside and get some fresh air. Go for a jog. Clear your head and do something hard and then reward yourself for completing it. Make yourself reward yourself.

  5. Your body is a machine and your mind just follows commands of that machine based on its read out of fluid levels and damage reports.

    Your machine is broken. Start fixing the machine and learn what causes your machine to break down. It might take months to read all the repairing manuals, but it really helps to understand it.

    The fluid replacements are quick fixes that need to be combined with profound understanding of how to change the behavioural patterns surrounding it. Just start with the fluid replacements today and start learning the psychology tomorrow.

    Buy this:

    https://www.amazon.com/Now-Foods-N-Acetyl-Cysteine-600mg/dp/B0013OUQ3S

    Why:

    https://selfhacked.com/?s=Anxiety+nac

    And this:

    https://www.amazon.com/Garden-Life-Formulated-Probiotics-Acidophilus/dp/B010MAD4ZK/ref=mp_s_a_1_9?dchild=1&keywords=Probiotica&qid=1617351871&sr=8-9

    Why:

    https://selfhacked.com/?s=Probiotic+mood

  6. Let go of wanting to be someone or something else. Accept yourself and the world around you exactly as it is without the coloration that we all bring through our insecurities, perceptions and beliefs.

  7. I’ve struggled with anxiety and insecurity for a large part of my life now. I’m getting better at overcoming them both though.

    1) Therapy, 100% reccommend talking to a professional before anything else. Just having someone you can be honest with and get feedback from it great. Your friends and family shouldn’t be your therapists.

    2) Figuring out what parts of your life you are unhappy with and approaching them. There are things you can change and things you can’t. Learning to accept the things you can’t change is difficult, but motivating yourself to change the things you can is a really big step in overcoming them.

    3) Your mental health and your physical health are more tied together than you probably realize. Many of us suffering from mental health issues also neglect our physical health, which results in *worse* mental health and so on, repeatedly. For example, I get stuck in this loop of feeling run down and tired, so I spend more time in bed, which makes me feel worse and then I solve that by spending more time in bed… It’s stupid, but when I force myself up in the morning and be productive, eat good food, exercise, go outside etc. I end up feeling better mentally and physically.

    4) Some anxieties you can’t overcome without facing them. I had a lot of travel anxiety a couple years ago, so much so that I didn’t go on a family vacation. The next year, it was my grandmas 80th birthday and I didn’t want to miss it, so I booked the ticket and went. I was very anxious about it, but I felt great when I was able to overcome it. Exposing yourself to your anxieties is probably the best way to actually feel more confident about them.

    5) Accepting your mistakes. Nobody is perfect 7 days a week. It’s hard, but trying to accept your mistakes and remind yourself that things will be fine is a big part of loving yourself.

  8. One day at a time. Start making as many small possible changes as you can to change your mindset to a productive one. Know that you can change anything you don’t like about yourself and work on it, one day at a time.

  9. You fix the things that are making you insecure, and work around what you can’t fix.

    You can’t “learn” to love yourself, but you can learn to change the parts of yourself you can’t love.

  10. You don’t have to learn to “Love Yourself” – you have to learn how to “Accept Love”
    Thus you can have your bad days, and it’s not the end of the world. It’s a “Bad Day”
    The metric of “Self-Love” is a Yes/No flip switch. When you are not “Self-Loving” you are failing yourself.
    The metric of “Accepting of Love” allows you the days when you would beat up on yourself, then you come back to you, apologize, and shower yourself with understanding and forgiveness.
    This also helps when another person wants to love you. They can nourish you with love, and you will eat from the bounty they offer. You will no longer have the knee jerk reaction of downplaying through masochist false modesty or esteem, you know how to eat. You will eat.

    “How can they love me, when I don’t even love myself?” Will be a thing of the past.
    “I am thankful someone else agrees with me that I should be nourished. When I get done nom’ing on this grilled cheese sandwich of love, I will make them a festive kale salad of love.”

    You are allowed your bad days and you imperfections, as they are allowed the same. You and the other person can both be human. You can be forgiven for your doubts.

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