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How can I get someone to realise they don’t need to abandon me just because of guilt?

So i have a girl in my life that is saying they do not want to have a relationship with me because they feel like they have betrayed me and that they don’t deserve to have me as their friend anymore because in their eyes i have always been so honest yet i forgive them for their actions and they insist on the idea that i dont need them also but i actually still really do value them and their company etc..

People can relate to stories and metaphors very well so i was thinking is there one i could use to allow this person to realise that just because they think they have done something wrong, it does not mean that they have to end a friendship over guilt? or if there is any other approaches i might be able to take please tell me thanks.

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12 Comments

  1. > So i have a girl in my life that is saying they do not want to have a relationship with me because they feel like they have betrayed me and that they don’t deserve to have me as their friend anymore

    I dunno, sounds like a thinly veiled excuse to me. No sane person would reason like that, so I’d assume a justification like that is just bullshit that they’re using to cover up the intended message.

  2. Sorry man, but I’ve seen that type of story play out. Hopefully different here, but likely translates along the lines of “You would only get in the way of the relationship that she wants to have.” Its awful and cowardly on her part really. But figuring that out and accepting such is easier than trying to make sense of it any other way. Heal and stay up though!

  3. You are too good for me! A load of BS. She is telling you that you are too much of a nice guy who is letting her do whatever she wants without facing any repercussions.

  4. I’ll say this about women, they don’t know how to let someone down. Don’t hear “it’s not you it’s me” and think it doesn’t mean “it’s not me it’s you”. Find a healthier relationship.

  5. I’m a female and the only times I said something like this is when the guy was in very emotional and I didn’t want to make him feel like he wasn’t good enough just because I didn’t want to be with him. Now at 28 I understand this is definitely not how you handle that but I just wanted you to know .

  6. Walk away my dude, she’s firing signal flares right in front of you telling you she’s moving on. Look at it how you want, but she is rejecting your friendship because she is not interested

  7. > they feel like they have betrayed me and that they don’t deserve to have me as their friend anymore because in their eyes i have always been so honest yet i forgive them for their actions

    More info needed. What happened, exactly? Be specific. Be descriptive.

    In any case, take her at her word and move on. The alternative is she’s lying…which would make her right anyway, because you don’t want liars around you.

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