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Guys who have been single/haven’t gotten laid in 5+ years – how you doing?

Guys who have been single/haven’t gotten laid in 5+ years – how you doing?

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  1. Friday will be 11 years to the day since the last time I had sex. It really bothered me for the first few years that I couldn’t make any in-roads toward a sexual or romantic relationship, but I’m pretty much over it at this point. I’m doing cool stuff, making enough money to afford it, having a good time with the friends I’ve got, and at this point I no longer feel like my self-worth has to be tied to my sexual activity.

    Ironically, I’ve lined up my first second-date in over a decade for Friday, and she suggested we hold it at my place. So, tempered expectations aside, that would be pretty funny at some cosmic level.

  2. Disclaimer, I got laid once at a party like 2 years ago but I was too drunk to remember and didn’t really consent and the girl was sober so that’s a whole thing…

    Regardless, I’ve been single for ages and the lack of sex doesn’t bother me but the complete lack of feeling like anyone gives a shit about me is pretty rough lol. Sometimes its really hard to come up with reasons not to just stop trying, since I feel my life is pretty empty.

    I don’t know if being in a relationship would really make me happy, it seems to have worked for all my friends. I watched them go from depressed losers like me to happy, motivated, and successful after finding people they really get along with.

    I’m not miserable, I enjoy reading, playing games, film ect. Escapism in all its forms really. I go fishing and scuba diving on occasion.

    Overall though, a lot of the time I just go to bed feeling like my life is just empty and devoid of meaning. I don’t feel any spark. I’m a social person and I really enjoy going out with friends, the memories I’ve shared with my friends are probably the ones I treasure most. Man, that sounds sappy lol.

    Social interaction is probably the thing that makes me most happy, but I’ve reached the age where most of my friends spend most of their time with their girls. I’m happy for them and happy that they’re leading good lives, but I can’t help feeling like life has left me behind. Like I’m *supposed* to have found my match and that’s how I feel fulfilled.

    Yet here I am, sitting alone in my room just existing. I’ve gotten pretty bad with parasocial relationships too, I get way more attached to characters in fiction than I ever did before. Surely my mind trying to compensate for the overall lack of social interaction I figure, but its pretty pathetic that most of my social gratification comes from fake people that only exist as words on a page.

    I’m not a very good looking guy anyways, so trying to date is such a massive uphill battle in this day and age that I find it impossible to motivate myself to even try.

    Sorry for the rant… I probably need therapy lol

  3. I was doing great until COVID happened. Like I wasn’t really trying to get laid or find a relationship before lockdowns started I was just living life having a good time.

    But since then I’ve found I have a real desire for some kind of intimacy – which is a real change for me. I haven’t decided if this a good thing or not yet.

  4. not good; was in a long term relationship almost 9 years ago. I am not a people person but she was the first person i ever stepped out of my comfort zone for. have not been with any one since and not for lack of trying have not been on any dates either. Everyone in my friend group is in a relationship and they have kids now so even before pandemic it was rough. i still miss having someone to talk to and do things with that isn’t family

  5. I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been. Lately I’ve gotten a new job, new hobbies, and I’m having a healthier outlook on life. I feel abit like a social outcast for never having been in a relationship but it is what it is and I’m used it. This might be a cope in all honesty but I’m not sure if I’d even like a relationship if I got in one. It just seems like a lot of work, responsibility, and emotional stress I don’t need in my life.

  6. I’m a virgin and it’s great, wouldn’t want it any other way to be honest.

    It used to bother me for the longest time until I came to terms withmy asexuality.
    Now I am so glad that I didn’t force myself to do something just because it’s expected of men.

  7. Indifferent; near 40s, I’m starting to think I’ve exhausted my opportunities to get laid despite having had a few good ones.

    I had less than I was hoping to have but more than none. So, no dying a virgin but definitively disappointed.

  8. I’m probably not the kind of man this question is for, but I still want to give my answer.
    Please excuse my mistakes as english is not my native language and it’s also quite late atm. (12.26 am)
    I’m 24, asexual and a virgin. Doing quite good on that aspect, but it gets a bit boring every now and then.
    It’s really annoying if your body needs to do it, but your brain has no interest in it. I just don’t have any actual interest in sex. That’s probably also the reason why I don’t have any interest in trying to get a partner. There are some things I want to try just because I’m curious in how it feels, but that’s it.

  9. Mixed. On one hand, glad to be getting out of this toxic marriage and being single again. Then again, I miss the feeling of holding a woman in my arms. At the moment, not even considering getting remarried, and debate back and forth about dating again. Sleeping single in a double bed gets lonely.

    tl;dr: I waffle between one extreme to the other.

  10. I been single, get laid from time to time. Happier now that I decided i never want a relationship. Simply put, I just do not trust women anymore. The risk ain’t worth it.

    Much happier now.

  11. 17, never got laid. Went on a date a week and a half ago and it went really well. We both had a great time and she said would like to meet again but I’ve texted her three times to ask her out again and she said she was too tired/sick/had plans with another friend. Now I think she’s ghosting me idk where I went wrong lol. Still have some hope but I don’t think I’m gonna lose my virginity any time soon.

  12. Been single for about 10 years (I’m 29 now). Not really sure how I wound up here. A bit of it is nature and a bit nurture. I have had numerous flings over the years but I just never felt like I wanted a partner up until somewhat recently. I think the prospect of being older without any family to lean on when times get bad has rattled me a little bit. I am still not naturally built for partnership but I am at this point willing to try and learn.

  13. Doing well but also sort feeling a bit of pressure because of that. I have lots of things figured out outside romantic stuff but now its the one thing lagging the most. I’d like to know what I want with that but its been hard getting opportunities to figure it out. Got to a place where I wanted to start trying to explore dating more but then covid hit.

  14. Not too good, things are looking my way in terms of life but been in a state of exhaustion for a few months now while im trying to fix myself / make myself better.

    This however has very little to do with being laid or not tbh

  15. Could be better. But not in a bad spot. Good job, good home, some friends on and offline.

    I do wish I could use online dating without feeling like garbage though. Or to meet someone who is actually single AND a straight woman.

  16. ‘S all good. Considering I’m moderately autistic I’ve dated a fair few people up until I was 26 where the gap in adult capability became a bit more evident.

    I can’t say I’m fussed about not having sex since as much as a relationship but then I hear of some way more functional autistic people who’ve never been with anyone at all and count myself fortunate. 🤷‍♂️

    That is if we’re to believe “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”🤣

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