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Guys, what was the worst nut pain you have ever experienced?

I once got shot in the nuts by a paintball , without a cup.

I also tried to boardslide a rail on a skateboard and ended up falling onto the rail between my legs.

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  1. Jumping off a rope swing into a river. The rope had a big knot at the end and when I let go, the slack in the rope flicked that knot up just right so it really whacked me in the nads. It was so bad it like knocked the wind out of me and I almost drowned when I hit the water.

  2. One of the boys started hurting before starting an armed guard shift. A few hours in I could barely stand it, and had to call someone to come take my shift so I could get to the hospital. I had Epididymitis and my right nut swelled to the size of an orange maybe. Ended up just needing antibiotics to clear it up.

    It was weird having a hot college grad rub the ultrasound wand over my lubed up nuts.

  3. Not me, but I once jabbed a kid I didn’t like in the balls with a 2×4 to the point where he curled up on the floor in pain and his face got super red. It was a dick move but man he was annoying and I was in highschool

  4. I ate a pistachio biscuit thing and they’re fucking disgusting. Peanuts are almost as bad.

    I’ve never encountered a nut I liked the taste of. Walnuts, cashews, pecans, and almonds are all fine at best.

  5. The worst was at school, in a gym class. We were playing soccer, I was the goalie and a girl from the other team shot the soccer ball right in my nuts from like 8 feet away. She was a semi-pro soccer player and she was apparently swinging (or in this case kicking) for the fences, so that ball definitely had some force behind it. I do vaguely remember the teacher dragging me off the field by my feet, then I was literally out cold for the next 10-15 minutes.

  6. Hit by a fastball, not wearing a cup. Cracked and dented my right nut which caused a bleed. My right nut swelled to the size of a grapefruit. It took me a month before I could walk more than 10 steps without a walker, and 3 months before I could go back to work. I ended up having to have it removed after 10 years of constantly feeling like I had been kicked in the nuts.

  7. This is one of those posts where I feel like I’ve probably got the best answer.

    When I was a kid in elementary school, we had these tires hanging from chains in the playground. I was standing on top of one and somehow the chain gripped my ballsack and tore it open while spinning around.

    Luckily it was a very minor cut. My junk still works fine, but I have a scar on my ballsack from it to this day.

  8. OK, this happened 30-odd years ago, and this will be quite long, as there’s a bit of setup.

    I grew up, for the most part, in a sleepy little seaside town called [Cardwell](,145.9709985,12452m/data=!3m1!1e3) in Far North Queensland, Australia. Yes, there are crocodiles (highly relevant). Directly opposite Cardwell, is Hinchinbrook Island. My father had a job as night security on a barramundi farm in one of the smaller waterways in the Hinchinbrook channel. The whole thing floated in the middle of the waterway, and if you wanted to get anywhere, you had to do it by boat. Get to other pontoons, or the growing cages? Boat. Get to shore? 20 minutes by boat (and from there, minimum 30 minutes by car to the nearest town. All supplies were bought in by boat. I used to go with him to work, cause it was fun.

    Power to the main pontoon was by generator, with a couple of gas lanterns and a 2 burner gas stove. Now, because it was a PITA to turn the generator on every time you wanted to do anything, dad just ran the gas light, and we boiled water on the stove for hot drinks.

    Dad was having a bit of a snooze, and I was quietly reading a book at about 9pm when I decided that I wanted a hot milo (kinda like hot malted chocolate). So I half-filled the 4 gallon pot with water and set it to boil. Had done this numerous times with no problem.

    When it started boiling, I turned the gas stove off, picked the pot up, and proceeded to pour the required quantity of boiling water into my mug…….. and it slipped out of my fingers. It landed on the edge of the counter, tipped towards me, and 2 gallons of BOILING water hit me from the waist down.

    Did I mention that we were on a floating pontoon in the middle of a saltwater waterway?

    I ran, absolutely SCREAMING, straight out the front door of the floating building, and plunged straight into the ocean. OH SWEET RELIEF! I had only spent about 30 seconds in the water when a thought came to me. “wait” thinks I. “I saw a 4 metre croc swim past here yesterday……..!!!!”

    Pulled myself straight up out of the water, and dad is there telling me to strip off. I do believe this was the first time he heard me swear, and he didn’t say a word. I got naked, and sat fanning myself with a newspaper for the rest of the night.

    I sustained second degree burns to the tops of my thighs and genitals. Yep, I had a tennis-ball size blister on the glans of my penis, and golf-ball size blisters on my scrotum (one each side).

    Morning came, and we got on the boat, went to shore, and headed straight for hospital, where they peeled the blistered skin off all my bits and dressed it.

    Jumping straight into the salt water saved it from being a lot worse, and while it would have been better to stay in there for longer, I wasn’t about to be a crocs midnight snack.

    And don’t worry, it all healed up fine in a couple of months, and everything works as it should 😉

    TL;DR dropped boiling water on my genitals, possibility of being eaten by a crocodile, it all works fine now 😉

  9. I’m too scared of hitting my balls to ever get hit there after the first time, don’t remember ever getting hit there afterwards, reflexes would always save em.

    First and only time was when me and my dad were playing soccer and he kicked the ball into my nuts, shit hurt bad. I was young, probably 7. My brothers were lucky that he got the hang of playing with kids by the time they were old enough to play soccer, I’m the oldest.

    I’m sure there was maybe a time before that, but those times must’ve been minor enough for me not to remember.

  10. I was prepping jalapeños for Mediterranean night with the fam. Had to stop to take a piss. As I was peeing I did a few pinch and twists on my ball sack to relieve an itch. Moments later my nuts began burning, badly! To the point to where I was screaming as loudly as I could. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but for some reason this had my on the floor crying and screaming. The pain never really hit a peak it just kept getting more and more intense. Eventually it subsided but after 30-40 minutes. Probably the worst pain I’ve been through.

  11. I’ve avoided anything but the ‘hahaha I’m not crying you’re crying’ level of impact, but I did manage to cover my balls (and inner thighs) in freshly boiled water after a tea-making accident.

    The pants acted as an initial barrier against direct contact with the water, but they also acted as a pooling effect in the short time that I was able to whip them off and run to the cold shower.

    I had stuff on my balls for a while, and was told to peel the loose skin off carefully whenever possible, without pulling on still-attached skin. It was basically sunburn peel squared. I had entire sheets of wrinkly skin just peel off my balls, and I have to say it was weirdly therapeutic sitting there picking at my balls. It’s completely healed now.

  12. I was playing village cricket, batting at seven against a spin bowler. I had forgotten my box, but decided as it was spin I was facing, the risks were minimal. I planned to retrieve it from the kit bag at the boundary if the quicker bowlers came on.

    Halfway through the over, I played a sweep shot and took a single. My partner called me back for a second run. The fielder threw the ball in hard, the wicket keeper let it go, and the ball hit me very hard in the plums.

    The pain was quite unique, it was both very sharp and yet very numbing. While I was recovering, the wicket keeper ran off the pitch and came back with a slice of pork pie which he ate while I lay there, seemingly dying. I always remember the pork pie, for some reason. Someone else used the classic “*don’t rub them, lad, count them*” line. I was run out next over, as running had suddenly become very difficult.

    I never forgot my box again during the rest of my inglorious career.

  13. My best friend’s sister, who had a crush on me in the 6th grade, kicked me there for the sole purpose of comforting me afterwards. That’s when I realized she was nuts.

  14. Sadly enough my ex. She had poor impulse control and an even worse understanding of cause and effect. That manifested itself into her randomly ‘tapping/hitting’ me in the nuts when the opportunity presented itself

    I don’t think she ever understood how much it actually hurt (she was the type who would roll eyes anytime I was sick and say ‘oh you have the man flu’ and not take me seriously). Kind of toxic in hindsight but those were the days. Basically guys can’t feel pain and when they do they’re exaggerating was her philosophy.

    So anyway one random day at my mums house, she thought it would be a good idea to put me in some pain and took a random swipe, and on that one I think she got the absolute sweetest spot. Can’t remember being in that much pain in my life I think. I had to leave the room, I punched a wall, my god it hurt. I still think about it years later. She got her laugh though

    Glad I’ve moved on from that whole situation

  15. I fell off a cliff but was saved by my nutts when they snagged on a branch. I hung there for days before a Condor saved me. My scrot still drags on the floor unless I roll it up into a large skin ball.

  16. I sit on my right one occasionally and not only do you get that good nut pain but you feel like you have kidney rot and a backache for a good 20 minutes.

    Happened this morning.

  17. Back in my gradeschool years I played soccer, and people here in the states can be massive dickheads so one thing they would do would be kicking the soccer ball straight at you if there was no open lane for passing, with the hopes it would hit you and go out of bounds. My lucky ass tried to play hard stopper on this one kid, and I took a ball full force to the nuts.

  18. One time i was on the trampoline with my brother and as I was coming down he was going up but he brought his leg up and kicked me straight in the crotch. Ran to the bathroom after that to make sure I didnt pop one (was like 10)

  19. Oh I got one. I got gonorrhea years back and was asymptomatic for probably two months and then came down with epididymitis. Essentially the epididymis had become inflamed from the infection so I had this aching, burning sensation around my left testicle where it felt like it was either on fire or had been crushed. Went to emerg, they did an x-ray and presumed it was STD related and put me on antibiotiixs. Took a week for the pain to go away.

    It was the only symptom I ever had from it.

    Practice safe sex.

  20. Blue balls are worse to me than getting hit in the nuts, though I’ve never had someone punch or kick me full force in the nuts.

    But the pain and discomfort of blue balls is just so much worse to me. Its a different kind of pain.

  21. Epididymitis! It felt like I had the flu and my bollock swelled to 2.5x it normal size, the constant feeling/ache/pain like it was being crushed in a vice and if anything so much as caressed it, I’d double over in agony.

    After 3 days I plucked up the courage to go see a doctor. While I was sat outside in the waiting room sweating and quietly wimpering to myself. Another doctor set off their alarm by accident, from the office I was about to go in walked this tall, slim but curvy heavenly vision of beauty, she was gorgeous, my doctor. As she returned she called my name and I had to walk in and sheepishly explain and show my gargantuanly deformed left testicle.

    Despite the pain of the sadistic examination, I still got a semi.

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