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Do you have someone in your life that you think you’ll end up with romantically one day, just not anytime soon? What’s the story?

I asked this question over on r/AskWomen and wanted to see what the men of reddit have to say. These kinds of stories just make my hopeless romantic heart happy.

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48 Comments

  1. Not a man but my friend’s grandmother went through this. They are in their late 90s now.

    She was engaged in her late teens and he went to fight in WWII, and when he came back he had a lot of what was clearly PTSD going on and told her he couldn’t marry her. They were both heartbroken but both went on to marry other people, and she moved out of province and raised her family elsewhere. Growing up my friend said she always knew about the ex-fiancé and the sad story of her grandmother’s first love and broken heart. When we were about 13, her grandfather died and 3-4 years later her grandmother went back to visit with friends and cousins in her small hometown. She literally bumped into her former fiancé on the main street and they went and had a coffee and found out his wife had also died a few years prior. They both confessed that they had never stopped thinking about what could have been and got married the next month, both in their early 80s. They’ve been married 15 years this year and they’re hopelessly in love.

  2. Ours was a weird relationship. We started speaking when we were both dating different people. Post break-up, we got on a flight and travelled across the Himalayas (a place we are both fond of) and fell in love. We both had plans to pursue our lives in different continents so this was always going to be a short-term fling.

    But we continued travelling, even if only for a weekend, after that till her day to leave. We thought that would be the inevitable end. We continued to stay in touch. Sometimes romantically, sometimes not.

    Few years later, we were strolling under the Eiffel Tower till the wee hours of the day. Then we were planning a hike in Yosemite.

    If someday we are in the same city together, I’m definitely putting a ring on it.

  3. My ex, we were friends for years before we got together and were together 3 years. Broke up because we wanted to pursue our careers and live in different cities. So we did.

    But we’re still best friends and I still love her. But it isn’t like a constant pain being away from each other . But we still love spending time with one another etc.

    Hell I’m at her apartment now.

  4. Actually yes, her and I have both acknowledged it (or rather did quite some time ago), and our friends still bring it up from time to time. For reference we met about 4 years ago.

    Long story short, she’s a friend of my best friend’s (then girlfriend) fiancé, we met at a music festival and spent the whole time together despite being complete opposites on the surface (think free spirit and clean cut corporate, myself the latter). One of those things where you just have instant chemistry, both emotional and sexual. Conversations flow easily, mutual interest, etc. Obviously I think she’s drop dead gorgeous but what really sold me was her witty banter. Anyway, I’m rambling on, moving on: Music festival is over, we part ways to our respectful cities (about a two hour distance) and promise to keep in contact. We hang out one or two times over the next few months before she moved across the country, only coming to visit my home state once or twice a year max (she has no family here, only friends).

    We still remain in contact, talking every few weeks or so to catch up, Christmas cards/gifts have been exchanged over the years, etc. We’ve both been in relationships in the time that has lapsed, her’s much more serious than mine. Still in the back of my mind, I think we both wouldn’t be shocked if things randomly worked out sometime down the line and it’s something I think about from time to time still.

  5. Not a guy and this will probably get buried but I have to answer.

    One of my very best friends and I were repeatedly teased by mutual friends who saw our chemistry. They would say our eyes would light up, we obviously had a connection, they were just waiting for us to get together, etc.

    We had somewhat of a talk about this and being something more — I wanted to start something, but we would be moving soon for college and we come from different religious background wherein he isn’t technically allowed to “date” and whatnot. He basically told me that since we both only wanted to seriously date for marriage purposes, that it wasn’t me, it was the situation. I only half-believed him; I just thought he was letting me down gently and I tried to distance myself from my feelings for him as much as I could.

    Fast forward months and months later, we talk and text regularly, he’s told me that I’m the perfect friend, etc. but it feels purely platonic. That’s fine, I would rather have him in my life as a friend than lose him at all. Anyway, he insists that I come to his town to visit him over a school break. He picks me up from the airport and by this time I had thought I was mostly over it (although feelings still lingered) and boy I just looked at him and was I wrong. I looked up at the sky and I was like “Really God!? Really???”

    I made sure to look nice when he picked me up and while he did hug me hello, he did not make eye contact until we got to where we would be staying. Our conversation was great the whole drive there! But he was acting shy about looking at me and it was adorable. Anyway, we make it there and it’s like nothing has changed, we are talking and laughing and bantering and it’s just amazing. I had missed him so much. We were so in sync it was incredible.

    Sometimes we would be walking around town and he would grab my arm and link it through his, and we would walk arm-in-arm. Or he would mention naming children and said “we” should call them such-and-such. Or we met up with one of his good friends at his school and she asked us how we met so he told her the story and she was like “awww so it was love at first sight?” and he said, without missing a beat, “yes!” and I almost died. There was a moment where we both accidentally fell asleep on the one bed after walking around all day and I woke up before him and so I just went on my phone. He woke up and rolled over and smiled and grabbed my arm and sort of nuzzled his face into it for a few minutes while we discussed what we were going to go eat.

    It was a beautiful trip. As I was leaving we hugged for a while and then grabbed each others hands and I almost started crying and it felt like leaving a piece of myself behind.

    The next term started, our relationship didn’t change that much; I sent him some presents for his birthday, (one which was a hand-made scarf which he said smelled like me), we both agreed we should run away into the woods, he’s told me that he’s sure “we’ll” both have plenty of time to travel when “we” have careers. And that’s where we are now.

    I don’t know if it will happen because of his culture or perhaps he’ll meet someone or perhaps this is all in my head, but he is one of the best people I’ve ever met. He checks my entire list. I love him tons and tons, and I know that a relationship with him would be long-lasting, and fun, and challenging in all the right ways, and I could see myself marrying him someday.

    I really don’t know where he stands, but to me, deep down, I have this feeling that we will end up together. Maybe I’m bananas, but I think he thinks so too.

    Only time will tell. 😀

  6. My current girlfriend and I were close friends for months and we never saw each other in a romantic way at all, all of our friends and even one of our teachers thought we liked each other but we absolutely didn’t. We would hang out in my car until 3 AM and never thought anything about it and then one night after dropping her off I was driving home when it hit me like a sledgehammer in the brain that I liked her. I was so caught or guard that I called her and told what I had discovered and she felt the same. We didn’t know what to do about it so we ignored and continued as usual for like another month and then one day we were in my car and started cuddling and now I’m happily in love with her and we’ve been together for coming up on a year

  7. Me and my girlfriend (both start of thirties) met when we were eighteen and fell in love. We were together for almost two years and ended the relationship because we couldn’t work out being together(lot of temper in the both of us, we were young etc). It was like both of us knew that we weren’t ready, but that one day we would be. We stayed friends, engaged in other relationships, didn’t see each other much a couple of years and then ended up becoming really good friends. One summer it was like something clicked and we both simultaneously realized that now was the time to pick it up again. We’ve been together ever since and I couldn’t be more in love even after 7 years. We are currently trying to have our first child, our old problems aren’t even existing anymore and things are going great. Don’t know if this is relevant to your situation 🙂

  8. I’ve always liked to think so. Somewhere somehow I always felt some sort of attraction towards her. Feeling like we are just supposed to be together at least at some point in our lives.

    I think she always shared the same feeling.

    Last year we got very close but it appeared to be just the wrong time.

  9. My WORK husband, we already know we like each other, but we can’t be together due to work. We are always professional but we’ve had this discussion where we both know how we feel. I change jobs in January and intend on asking him out proper then.

  10. I went to high school with my wife. We hooked up at a couple weddings over the years, she married someone else and lived on the West Coast. After she got divorced and I broke up with my girlfriend, I hit her up on FB. We’ve been together for 10 years, married for 8 with a 6 y/o little guy.

  11. I almost always lurk on reddit, but I feel implored to respond here.

    The simple answer would be yes. The story follows…

    I met this girl at the end of a solo backpacking trip around Argentinian and Chilean Patagonia. 21 days going from north to south – just me and my backpack, nature and the beauty of Patagonia. It was magic.

    On the final day of the trip, I flew back to Buenos Aires from Ushuaia and spent the day exploring the city. For the evening I’d arranged to go for hot dogs in Palermo with some Americans I’d met in the first week of my trip.

    I arrive at the restaurant and find myself promptly joined by these friendly Americans. About a quarter way through the meal they tell me there should be someone else turning up, which to be honest I thought little of. I was just chowing down on my 2nd hot dog when she arrived.

    It’s a terrible cliché but the minute I laid eyes on her I felt my stomach drop and my heart jump. Her beauty was completely arresting. I urged the fella next to me to move up and she ended up sitting next to me. The minute we introduced ourselves that was it. The chemistry was electric. We spent the rest of the evening together, and our other friends left us to it, seemingly realising the connection we quickly established. It’s corny but it was one of the best nights of my life. We talked a ridiculous amount, danced, swanned around the streets and street parties arm in arm. When she left my room in the wee hours, she promised me she wouldn’t ever forget it and that we would see each other again.

    I’ve seen her since. I hope to visit her in the states at some point as well. In my heart I have this feeling that one day we’ll end up together, but for now I’m content to talk to her and do video calls here and there. She often says she feel lucky we met, but for now I don’t see a way we could be together. One day though, I think it might happen.

  12. I was in that situation four years ago. Had a friend in school, really close friend. Wonderful human. Tomboyish. Goofy. Beautiful, and yet unaware of her beauty. Just, pure and good.
    Before leaving my hometown for university, when I met her for the last time, it hit me. I hated the idea of not being able to see her everyday. The idea of going away was terrible. I had feelings for her. And I got to know that she felt somewhat similarly as well.
    I hadn’t ever been in a relationship, she hadn’t either, and so it was scary. The idea of beginning something with distance. Didn’t want to bring in unnecessary toxicity that may have crept in, jealousy, insecurity, whatnot. So we thought not to take it further. I came to university, but I had this thought that I’m supposed to end up with her someday in future.
    Anyway, a year into uni, I fell in love with my batchmate. She’s amazing. We’ve been together for over four years, and I wish to marry her. There are times, every once in a while when I think of… her, and what could have been. But I suppose that’s human nature.
    That’s my story.

  13. Maybe one, but she seems happy with her current guy, so I’m not really interfering. Somebody like her *has* to exist, and is single. I’m waiting for her to find me.

  14. Me and my now best friend actually were in a relationship for a short time, but we’re both incredibly career-oriented people, had completely different plans and didn’t want to force the either of us to make a choice. Neither of us is actually looking for a relationship right now, but once the time comes to settle down, and we’re still as close as we are now, we’re probably gonna end up together.

  15. I worked with a girl in high school at a fast food restaurant. She was really bubbly, kind, and smart. Really pretty. I used to volunteer to count tills in the office area (a task no one wanted) just so I could be near her when she was taking orders in the drive-thru. Worked together for a year or so, never got too close. We became MySpace friends (I’m dating myself, I know) and I went off to college and she moved away across the country. I saw her posts every once in a while on MySpace, also she was pretty good friends with one of my friends. I ended up getting married to someone else and having a baby. Things went south and my wife and I split up when I was 23 and my daughter was 3 months old. I had dropped out of college and was unemployed (my ex had been working and I was a stay-at-home dad). I moved into my dad’s house. My mom passed away suddenly when I was in college and it was hard to be back at home without her. I was pretty depressed but at least I had 50% custody of my daughter. The girl from the fast food restaurant moved back to town and our mutual friend asked if I wanted to go hang out with her and him at her apartment. I didn’t have my daughter that day and was very lonely so I agreed. We watched a movie together and talked. I ended up hanging out with the girl, who was 22 now, as friends. I we ended up dating and got married. We are still married today with a son and still have 50% custody of my daughter. That was over a decade ago. I went from a depressed, lonely, unemployed, college drop out who was divorced with a daughter that I could barely financially take care of to what I am today. I went back to school and got my BS and MS. I have done well in my career and I make six figures. I own a beautiful house and family. I’m very happy and every day is better than the last with my wife, the girl from the fast food restaurant from when I was 17. And honestly, I couldn’t be the person I am today without her. I should probably go tell her that, because I don’t think I ever have.

  16. A few years ago a girl showed up at my church and everyone was kind of head over heels for her. I didn’t give her much notice.

    She spent a month abroad and when she came back about 20 people from the church took a road trip to go to a church camp in another state. I ended up driving her car. Around the 3-hour mark of what would be a ~14-hour drive I thought “Huh, I think I’m going to marry this girl.”

    Mind you we had not spoken prior to this day, and she’s 7 years older than me.

    Fast-forward a year and a half (so around May 2017), and I decide to make a move.

    We’ve been married for 15 months. 🙂

  17. Used to think it was the guy who ran the cooking course I volunteered at. Turns out the fact that we are both vegan and love classic literature is in no way a basis for a healthy relationship especially since he turned out being a judgemental asshole but somehow my friends and parents were all rooting for him. Uh. Sorry this is not sappy or romantic.

    Edit: also I just realised this is ask men not ask women. Oops. I am very caffeineated I’m sorry.

  18. My best friend of 11 years is a woman and it’s one of those “if you love them you have to let them go” type of situations.

    She was always dating someone. I realized I couldn’t waste my youth and wait for her to be ready and I think it worked both ways. I’m a man who is mature psychologically but not in life terms. I always drank too much and personally I think it was because I was wishing I had a happy life with her.

    I realized that wasn’t happening way too late. We’re still friends and she started dating another friend of mine and she seems happy. The whole experience taught me what I’m looking for in a partner. The best things in her, what I want, and how I can fix myself. A lot of times wasted waiting but as someone who doesn’t want kids I also don’t believe in a happy ending unless you find the right person. And that wasn’t it.

  19. I used to think this.

    Some girl I was friends with when I was like 20 told me she doesn’t see me as a boyfriend but more as a husband, and shes not at a stage in her life where she wants to be with her husband. I actually bought it and really thought I would end up with this girl one day (I was a big time simp at that time). Not sure if she meant it or not, but I wasn’t going to wait around to find out. I just continued life normally and figured if it happens it happens (which of course it didn’t) We still talk every now and then but I don’t and haven’t in a while had romantic feelings for her.

  20. I’ve always had the thought in the back of my head that I will end up with my HS crush. Which is weird, cause we don’t have a ton in common in terms of interests but we have always gotten along and we generally enjoyed each other’s company. We never dated, just were always good friends. I haven’t seen her since graduation though. We have texted here and there but never more. I’m not even romantically interested in her anymore.

    BUT, there’s just something in the back of my head that tells me that we might at least date in the future sometime.

    The weirdest part, is I’ve had dreams about her the past few weeks. And idk why cause I’ve not been thinking about her in the slightest. So, it’s so random.

    But, like I said, it’s hard to explain the feeling of feeling like something is gonna bring us back together at some point. It’s weird man.

  21. I met my husband in basic training, fate or rather the alphabet brought us together my last name started with “A” his is “B” so we were always right next to one another. We were super close all throughout training (nothing romantic) had a boyfriend back home and he had a girlfriend. We remained friends for years (living in different parts of the country). We spoke for hours at a time. I would always tell him that one day we would get married. Five years we were friends and finally got a chance to visit one another. I went to see him and just never left. Eight years later we’re married and have 3 kids. We just had to wait for things to align for our chance to be together.

  22. 7 Years since I met her. If she reads this she’ll know who she is. Over that time she’s gone from my best friend to the woman I want to grow old with.

    We tried recently for a few months but it seemed this was not the right time. I hope beyond hope that one day there is a right time.

  23. I was with someone at university and it was an amazing soul connection, like we often lost sense of time and space when we were together. We couldn’t be together because of cultural reasons and we were both too young / lacked courage to fight for our relationship, so it naturally came to an end. About 10 years later I saw him by chance at a work thing, somehow we ended up in the same small field. He was married with a kid and I was with someone, but we just went straight back to the dimensionless connection we had. I think our love never died. It’s just waiting to emerge again, not sure when it will happen.

  24. Yep. This girl I’ve known for about a year. We’ve both basically said we love each other, but the whole lockdown thing is making it hard to actually find time to hang out just the two of us.

    So once the lockdown ends hopefully that’ll work out.

  25. My ex. We met though my work, her being from a foreign country and it just sparked. It feels like we would keep our long distance relationship going and functional if it wasn’t for how occupied we both were with work/education, judging by the way we message one another.

    ​

    There is a slim chance she’ll come to my home country to continue her education (which I doubt will happen). Still, something inside of me feels like we are bound for one another, and that time is just another test to endure.

  26. Sorry OP this isn’t the romantic story you wanted.
    There was one. But not long ago she gave me the final blow that woke me up, so I realized it won’t happen ever. And even if it would eventually happen that she would try to hit on me. I’m just not interested anymore. It’s like you know guys when something breaks inside of you. Well, it was that kind of moment. When she said those words something broke inside me so I just packed all of my stuff, thanked her for the evening(FWB at that point), and went home. That was 5 months ago, we talked like 3 times and haven’t met since that incident in December.

  27. There’s this one girl. I think about her all the time and I’ve already distanced myself from anywhere there’s a chance we would ever make contact.
    We went out on one “date” and in school I’d try to say hi but it seems she was either shy or just straight up didn’t like me. We’d text like all day everyday for a few weeks until I’d gotten paranoid and anxious because I’ve never really gotten close to someone like that. I must’ve weirded her out because I told her “I just want to take a break from talking to you because I think of you a lot” which I apologized for after (it was a whole essay I’d written out it was really strange of me :/). We stopped talking and I’d get excited every time I saw her pop up on my social media so I blocked all of her accounts (lol). I unblocked her soon after and we’d just never really talk again. Until this one time I saw her at a store and she texted me after I said hi really awkwardly and left and that was the last time we ever talked. She recently followed me again on Instagram but I just deleted all of my social media because I felt it all just to be boring and unproductive. I don’t know. All I know is that I’d love to be there for her and I just wish her the best wherever she goes!! I don’t know if I love her but I do have strong feelings and I’m doing a lot of different things to keep myself busy and focused on myself

  28. Went on two dates with someone I met on OkCupid the two days before our state shut everything down in response to COVID. We’re both pretty vulnerable to this thing in different ways, so meeting up is a bad idea. If we ever see each other again and it works out, gosh will this be a good “how we met” story.

  29. I had a girl i really like in highschool and she always said we’d get together “when we’re sixty-four” like the Beatles song. I really had a thing for her but she wasn’t into me. It really hurt. Apparently, i would be good enough once she was old and past her prime.

    Anyway, fast-forward five years and she meets a guy and gets married. They have a son. Fast forward another five years and she divorces the guy because she is a lesbian. And bails on the son. Fast forward another ten years and she is all alone looking for a man, woman…anyone.

    But, no. I’m good.

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