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Do you ever stop texting a girl to see if she will start a conversation? Why/why not?

Do you ever stop texting a girl to see if she will start a conversation? Why/why not?

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  1. Forget girls, I did that to all my friends a few weeks ago and no one responded or anything. I don’t normally do it but if I get the vibe that I’m the initiator by a long shot I’ll reduce how often I text till it’s 0.

    The main reason I did it to my friends, as petty as it sounds, is because even though they all supposedly know my birthday (we’ve known each other for 4+ years, all of high school) they forgot mine but didn’t have a problem remembering the birthdays of other people in the friend group, even hosting a video call for one of them.

    That, on top of the fact that I’m hardly ever the first person to be invited to hang out. The process usually goes: I see them hanging out on Snap Maps -> I ask one of them to hang out -> They say yes. Basically I have to remind them of my existence, which shouldn’t be how friendship works.

  2. If I’m the one the one starting every single conversation and asking every question, then yes. If she texts back then it’s a good indication she’s still interested. If not, then it means she’s likely not really interested and just texting for entertainment or is someone who expects me to initiate everything (which really isn’t what I want).

  3. Yes, if I am unsure about continuing a relationship it is a good test. If she doesn’t write it means it was good to end it. And if she does write I normally give the relationship one more shot.

    But I never play games. If I stop messaging it means I am willing to walk away.

  4. I’m not sure if I have ever done this on purpose. But I have come to notice that, if a girl never texts me from alone and it’s always me who has to initiate, then she isn’t really interested enough to be worth my time

  5. Not to see if she will start a conversation, more like I’m tired of starting all the conversations so i guess I’ll move on because she’s not interested enough to start one herself.

  6. Yes and no. I was with a girl who did this once and it was a massively contributory factor to why I disengaged from that particular relationship. I guess it’s a personal preference matter, but I have no interest in having a totally passive, reactionary partner.

    I have the same rule with friends as well; if I am the one doing literally all of the work in the relationship then it is deeply flawed and not worth either of our time. They need to be at least as invested in the relationship as I am, or there is absolutely no point in pursuing it further.

    **THAT SAID,** some people *are* shy and socially awkward and don’t know how this whole “human communication” thing works, and it’s important not to completely write them off, so it’s best to bring it up directly and say “*Hey, I feel like I am the one who is doing all of the work here”* and see how they respond.

    But I am absolutely getting too old and too jaded to spend my time on anyone who just wants all the benefits of friends/attention without putting in the barest amount of effort on their part. There are other women.

  7. Yeah I think it’s a good way to gauge if she’s interested in you. Because if you’re starting every conversation, it either means she doesn’t like texting or she’s doesn’t find you that interesting. There could be other reasons why she’s not texting but my petty and insecure mind can’t comprehend any other reasons

  8. I might text a second time, after I wait awhile. But a third text before she replies? Never.

    I don’t beg for attention. Some serious advice: if you have to fight for someone’s attention, you will not enjoy it when you get it.

  9. I recently had this happen with someone. Nearly every text conversation was me starting, but she was always into whatever we were talking about so I was confused what to do. It still really annoyed me, so I stopped texting. Nine days later she texted and asked how my trip went that I had recently been on. I responded briefly and she said she wanted to text me but felt like she would be bothering me. Really?
    I responded to her that she is never bothering me, then basically asked if that is why she never texts me because I was starting to feel like I was bothering her. She said yes, and I made it clear that I am always excited to see a text from her! Now we text all the time and life is good.

  10. Yes i did. We were “best friends” i told her everything and she told me everything. We were rly rly close. But she never even reached out to me, it was always me who had to start a conversation or to ask whether she wants to hang out. But keep in mind she mentiond to everyone how we were soulmates and for sure Brother and Sister and stuff like this.

    Since we had different friend groups we wouldnt meet eachother randomly so i figured if she rly thinks we are that close, that she wants to chat and hang with me too and that she will message me.

    4 years later, she hit me up and was like “Hei OP what’re you doing and lets meet sometime”.

    We met and she constantly was asking why we stoped talking and that we were that close and how did we ruin what we had and complaining about me never reaching out to her. Her Face when i told her that there are 2 Persons needed in having a good friendship and that she truely didnt care for me else she would have texted way earlier.

    She still didnt see how it was her fault to ruin our friendship.

    TDLR: Stopped Texting to see if she starts to keep our friendship alive, 4 years later she cant see why we arent friends anymore

    Sry for bad english

  11. I never topped *entirely*. I just dialled it back a lot. For exactly that reason; to see if they’d engage first. Ofc, if there was conversation to be had, I’d hit them up. But ya….they never really messaged first 🤷‍♀️

  12. They never initiate the convos so I give up, and when they do talk they talk like robots, I wanna talk to a person with actual responses. So I just leave it, and then a month later u hear that she was interested but I ghosted her. Bitch u talk like a ghost. But u know what’s the worst, when they do initiate the convos, when they do compliment u, when they do all the stuff u only dream about. Even go on a date with u, then they tell u they had no intention of starting something and they were just trying to see if they caught feelings. Using u like a 7 day free trial. Fuck outta here.

    (Sorry for the rant lmao)

  13. I’ve done that a time or two when wondering if someone person was actually interested in chatting or just being polite and responding to questions. That line of thought arises when I receive multiple messages with terse responses or where it feels they’re offering the bare minimum. I typically respond to anything lingering without adding new prompts for the conversation to continue. If they write back and continue things on their own, great. If they don’t, I just assume they weren’t all that interested and move on.

  14. Yup I do it sometimes and if she doesnt start a conversation, I know she has more guys shes talking to 😂😂.

    When a girl really likes me tho she messages first constantly.

  15. Asked a girl out who I was quite into.
    She said no, because I’d recently (about 3 months previous) come out of a ltr and she didn’t think I was ready for another relationship.

    I didn’t think that was her call to make, but I understand that she was protecting herself from being a potential rebound, which is cool.

    As she turned me down, I stopped texting her.
    We’d had a pretty steady back and forth for the past three weeks.
    Then all of a sudden, mutual friends invite me to things and say “oh btw, she might be there” and I thought “nah I’ll pass then”.

    This happened a couple more times until she finally text me out of the blue and said we should meet for coffee. I replied “sure, when?” and she never replied.

    Then I hear she’s annoyed that I’m not making an effort 🙄

    Bullet dodged.

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