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Are there ways in which you presently feel (or previously felt) powerless? What do/did you do about it?

The feeing of powerlessness is often a male-specific precursor to anxiousness and depression. I’m wondering if anyone here relates to the experience of feeling “impotent” in any significant way, if it has improved or worsened with different life stages or social changes, and how it shows up for you (Irritability, self sabotaging behavior, etc)? What helps to make it better?

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10 Comments

  1. Yes, about my mental health in the past. I would feel powerless and hopeless sometimes regarding my feature in some areas. I started going to therapy and joined meet ups to meet people. It really helped. I still feel powerless in some areas regarding emotional health, but I have learned to accept that it’s ok to not have power over things.

  2. Yeah, it happens, although admittedly I can’t recall a specific moment off the top of my head.

    I mean, the only thing I’ve found is just a general acceptance that there are things I can literally do nothing about. Situations in which nothing I can reasonably prevent things. I can look both ways before crossing the road, and hey, look, the guy at the line stopped and we made eye contact. I know he sees me and I can safely cross.

    But that guy in the Ford F350 going 30 over the limit staring at his phone behind him? Didn’t notice him. So what do I do? Sit at the corner and ensure every single person is watching as I cross the road? Even the people 5 cars back?

    Not much of a religious person, but man, the serenity prayer nails it.

    >God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can,
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    If there’s nothing you can do about a situation, stressing it really just takes away from your life. Prevent problems, if you can’t prevent them, damage control, if you can’t do that? Fix what you can and salvage the remains.

  3. I had a couple particularly rough periods. One in my teens and another in my 20’s. The feeling of being powerless is largely because you are either at someone else mercy (meaning you are dependent on someone) or you don’t know what to do in life.

    The best advice I can give any guy is this.

    – Have a plan for yourself that only requires you.

    – Avoid dependency on anyone.

    – Make sure you are always self sufficient for everything you need to function in life.

    – Always keep your living space tidy and organized, its the base foundation for everything going on in your day to day life.

    – Prioritize your career earlier in life, be the dependable person the supervisors and managers want to always call.

    – Make sure you are always having a little fun.

    – Always be seeking a new challenge or opportunity to overcome.

    – Regardless if its a new hobby, learning more about an old hobby or taking a course on something new never stop learning and try to learn things that are useful in your day to day life.

    – If you meet someone else and a relationship works out that is a bonus in life, it should not be a requirement or a crutch.

    – I know this one is a particularly tough pill to take but never assume a partner will always be there for you down the road, relationships can always be ended by either party at any time.

    If you always have a plan and you are completely self reliant you are never really going to feel powerless anytime in life.

  4. When my abusive fuckhead of a dad screamed his head off at me for not doing the dishes for 3 hours one time. I wanted to kill him.

    But don’t worry. I got really wasted and screamed my head off back at him 😈

  5. Feeling like a drop in an uncaring ocean like the wide universe never upset me. In fact, it always made me feel better knowing I could just exist.

    What bothers me is feeling like a drop in an ocean actively working against me. The shit in politics, the people fighting, all the hatred and violence that has an affect on me (either via policy or how people around me respond) and I can’t do a thing about it. It feels like even the people most able to improve things can’t do anything about it because those forces are so strong.

    What did I do about it? The only thing I could do- control myself. Focus less on the negatives. Try to focus on positives. Try to be a positive force in the world. These are the only things in my control, and I feel like it’s pretty important to be the best I can be in hopes that if enough people think like me we’ll eventually overpower those forces in power. Maybe not in my lifetime but again it’s literally all I can do.

    Tangentially, I also try to engage myself on why I feel the way I do. I was surprised when I found out how much of my anger stems from control issues I never knew I had, and try to understand myself better so I can carry myself better.

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